Crunch Time: Boston athletes suck at picking friends

The top athletes in Boston suck at picking friends. Everyone knows that the three most important people in the Patriots organization (Bob Kraft, Bill Belichick and Tom Brady) are buddy-buddy with the current President of the United States – a man who enjoys bragging about grabbing women’s hoo-haas upon meeting them.

And then there’s the Celtics’ Isaiah Thomas, who is also tight with someone who has an ugly history with women.

Boxer Floyd Mayweather has been arrested or cited for violence seven times against five women (according to a 2015 Boston Globe article). That is one gross statistic.

Now, it’s not anyone’s job to tell a grown person who to be friends with. I’m just saying it’s a bad look for Isaiah and the Celtics to basically have Mayweather as Boston’s version of Jack Nicholson or Spike Lee in the No. 1 celebrity fan role.

The sounds of silence

Warriors forward Draymond Green needs to get his priorities in order. He disrespected Clippers forward Paul Pierce a couple weeks back by telling him the following: “Chasing that farewell tour, they don’t love you like that. You can’t get no farewell tour. They don’t love you like that … You thought you was Kobe.”

On Sunday, Green said that the Knicks and Madison Square Garden’s decision to NOT blare annoying music during on court play and during each and every stoppage in play during the first half of the Warriors – Knicks game was “disrespectful,” “pathetic” and “trash.” (God forbid, the focus in the arena actually be on the game for once).

I get that Green and every other NBA player is used to hearing the meaningless “Duh, duh … DEFENSE!” thing every other trip down the floor and they never tire of The Black Eyed Peas’ “Tonight’s gonna be a good night” during time outs … but to call this idea “disrespectful?” Talk about a friggin’ overreaction.

Old-Berg

One of the great things about pro wrestling is that unlike real sports you’re never too old to compete. Hulk Hogan, at age 63, is still not officially retired. Ric Flair, who resembled my grandmother as far back as 1991, had his “retirement match” at the age of 59. Vince McMahon was falling off of steel cages in his 60s, and on Sunday night, 50-year-old Bill Goldberg won the WWE Universal Championship.

Goldberg is a guy who hasn’t been mainstream since 1998, when he appeared on the cover of TV Guide (yes, TV f’n Guide!). It’s been 18 years or so since Goldberg was relevant but that didn’t stop the WWE from trying to milk a few extra dollars out of a guy who was born when Lyndon Johnson was President.

It’s just a shame this couldn’t happen in real sports. Who wouldn’t want to see Michael Jordan un-retire for the 10^th time and see if he could post-up LeBron?

Man vs. Wolf

Recently retired NFL running back Arian Foster believes he could beat up a wolf.

On Sunday, Foster tweeted out, “Wanna go camping, but ‘wildlife’ scares the s— out of me … I honestly think I can get a wolf 1 on 1 tho.”

When his Twitter audience disagreed, saying that most wolves would be able to rip apart most 30-year-old men with bad knees, Foster came out firing – insulting the wolf species over and over again.

“I’ve studied the wolf,” Foster tweeted. “He can’t read. I know his weaknesses. Plus the thumb thing.

“If he bites me his main weapon is immobilized. Then he becomes vulnerable. This is why thumbs are so important.

“Thumbs mean I can grab him. He can’t grab me. All he has is a mouth. Grab his neck and he can’t bite.

“Also, [the wolf] hasn’t been to 4 probowls, overcome those injuries and DOESN’T HAVE THUMBS. Advantage me, f—er.”