Crunch Time: On David Ortiz – Red Sox rumors, Mike Defee and Phil Simms (video)

“Retired” Red Sox slugger David Ortiz loves drama, so you just knew that “Big Papi” would be teasing a return to the playing field every other week this off-season. When the Red Sox acquired Chris Sale in a trade with the White Sox a month ago, Ortiz took to Instagram and posted a photo of Sale with the caption, “My god, my boy Sale to Btown? You guys got me thinking?”

Monday night he tweeted out something cryptic, simply writing, “@BostonGlobe.” Was that some sort of bat signal to Sox and Globe owner John Henry that he’s coming bac to the Red Sox? Or does he want in on this here journalism game? Here’s a hunch, Papi – you wouldn’t be happy with a journalists’ salary.

What a gas

Making fun of the nonsensical stuff that Phil Simms says on national NFL broadcasts has become a sport of its own, so much so that there’s an awesome Twitter feed called, “Phil Simms Quotes.” Here are some of the gems that Simms, CBS’ No. 1 analyst, trotted out Sunday during the Steelers – Dolphins game:

“Adam Gase. Young. Look at him.”

“Sometimes there are good holdings. That might be one.”

“This pass caught them off guard! Well it didn’t catch them off guard.”

“Believe me, I passed many 60 second concussion evaluations and I turned out fine.”

Simms also allegedly farted on air during the CBS broadcast Sunday (see video above). After review, I can say with a clear mind that there is no indisputable evidence that Simms did not poot.

Oddly enough, this is not the first time that Simms has been accused of ripping one on air.

All the dumbbells and whistles

There’s a new star at the football referee gun show, and his name is Mike Defee. NFL ref, Ed Hochuli, gained a great deal of notoriety last decade for showcasing his biceps during games but it seems as though Ed has cut back on the HGH in recent years. Defee took the biceps baton and curled it 48 times Monday night during the Clemson – Alabama National Championship game, as his 30-inch pythons were glistening in HD. Defee had a southern drawl to boot, which basically makes him the perfect college football official.