The Greater Boston Area is made up of a ton of cities and towns adjacent or in the vicinity of the City On The Hill. Some suburban areas embody the beautiful architecture of classic colonial houses. Some have magnificent waterfronts or dense forests. Others have problems.

In a self-described “infotainment” study, took a look at the biggest 34 suburbs and put out a list of the worst ones to live in. They measured the quality of life by looking into the government census, Bureau of Labor Statistics and Sperling’s Best Places, crime rate, education, jobs, income, population density, and property value. 

IMAGES: New Government Center will include tallest rental tower in Boston

The list pulls no punches, and opens up many doors for trash talk. 

Located only five miles from downtown Boston, Revere weighs in at number one on RoadSnacks list of bummer ‘burbs. Home to America’s oldest public beach, they ranked dead last in expenditures per student, third in overall crime, and have the fourth worst home value. 

Stoneham was ranked second-worst with a below average rate across the board. Outside of the Stone Zoo, the Stoneham Theater and reservation land, there isn’t much in the 6.7 square mile town to do.

Beverly, who contend with four other towns that they are the birthplace of the U.S. Navy, came in third. The densely packed town has the sixth highest unemployment rate of the surveyed suburbs.

Everett came in fourth place with the third lowest adjusted median income. It is on the Orange Line, and could be prime for gentrification in the near future. It also will house the Wynn Casino, much to the dismay of Boston’s Mayor Marty Walsh. 

Peabody came in fifth place with the fifth highest unemployment rate in the area.

Lynn and Chelsea grapple for sixth and seventh place. Lynn has the lowest home value, the second-lowest median income and a reputation of being “The City of Sin.” 

Chelsea is the direct reverse of Lynn with the second-lowest home value and the worst adjusted median income. Getting to Chelsea from Boston requires taking a hair-pin turn off of the Tobin Bridge onto Fourth Street, which would terrify an inexperienced driver.

Malden came in at number eight with the fourth worst education due to low expenditures per student and a high student to teacher ratio. While housing prices are low, unemployment is above average and it is on the Orange Line, which means getting places isn’t too hard.

The City of Presidents came in at number nine. Home to the original Dunkin Donuts location, Quincy has the worst surveyed unemployment rate and is at the bottom third for home value and adjusted median income. 

Last, we have Saugus. They rank 12th in unemployment, 16th in home value, 17th in education and ninth in crime, which rounds things out to below average.