Train Spotting: Allston Christmas on Harvard Avenue

These two guys are like any others just trying to survive move-in weekend in Allston.
These two guys are like any others just trying to survive move-in weekend in Allston.

While typical of any college town, the early September game of musical apartments escalates into a wholesale war of attrition among Allston’s population of students and stunted adults each year.

Traffic becomes unbearable. Drivers with mattresses tied to the roofs of their vans scream bloody murder at each other. You can’t walk down Harvard Avenue without catching scabies from a tattered futon someone tossed on the curb.

However, those with the fortitude to peruse the sidewalks on Allston Christmas can discover discarded goodies that aren’t infested with scabies, or any parasites at all. For some insight into the mass exodus from and disembarkment into Rock City, we talked to these two random dudes on a Pratt Street lawn during the height of the mania.

Get anything good for Allston Christmas this year?

Sean Mason: I got some books out of the f—ing dumpster. Couple of history books.

Andrew Gallagher: One about the Cold War…. and one about Margaret Thatcher?

SM: I did not take that one.

AG: There was one about weed.

Everyone prefers weed to Margaret Thatcher.

AG: Margaret Thatcher…what did she hate? Poor people and acid house?

Are you guys moving out or moving in?

SM: Moving out, if the movers ever come. He’s been stuck here waiting for almost five hours.

AG: I’m in hell.

Are you getting the f— out of Allston?

AG: I’m getting the f— out of this specific neighborhood, but I’m staying the f— in Allston. It’s, like, an eight-person house here. It’s like a squat. I need to leave.

What are the best parts of living with seven people?

SM: It’s rough. You’ve got to learn how to get along.

AG: Honestly, this is the first time I’ve asked myself that question. There’s the rent. That’s about it. In terms of the social aspects? Nah. It’s terrible. My inner dialogue is so f—ed up. I’m like a schizophrenic.

SM: Your consciousness has seething ideas of anger just spewing from you. The hate that swells in you after however many years!

Got any funny stories about bed bugs or other parasites?

SM: None that are funny. Christ almighty.

What about terrifying?

AG: There was some roommate who lied about his room being infested with bed bugs. He was like, “I don’t have f—ing bed bugs,” while constantly scratching himself and s—.

Why are so many drivers telling each other to go f— themselves today?

SM: Because there’s too much f—ing traffic, that’s why. There are too many movers, too many tourists and too many new people in the city. Everybody hates everybody right now. In some respect, that makes sense. At the same time, everybody should just pull out some cannabis and calm down.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
International

Jews in eastern Ukraine ordered to register, Kerry…

Secretary of State John Kerry condemned reports that Jews in eastern Ukraine had been ordered to register with the authorities "or suffer the consequences."

National

Chelsea Clinton pregnant with first child

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with her first child.

National

Divers struggle in search for South Korean ferry…

By Jungmin Jang and Narae KimMOKPO/JINDO, South Korea (Reuters) - Rescuers struggled with strong waves and murky waters on Thursday as they searched for hundreds…

National

New Hampshire moves to decriminalize adultery

For the first time in hundreds of years, it's about to be legal to cheat on your spouse in New Hampshire.

Movies

Review: 'Transcendence' is not stupid but sometimes lacks…

The cyberthriller "Transcendence" explores artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and other ethical quandaries, but has too much ambition, if anything.

Television

Shane West talks WGN America's 'Salem'

The actor on history lessons, a new network and showing his butt.

Music

Both feet on the ground with Aimee Mann…

What began with a cool double-bill of Ted Leo opening for Aimee Mann morphed into a full-fledged collaborative project that they're calling The Both. “There…

The Word

Lawsuit accuses 'X-Men' director Bryan Singer of raping…

A new lawsuit accuses director Bryan Singer of sexual assault against a minor.

Sports

2014 Boston Marathon preview: Elite American, International runners…

2014 Boston Marathon: Elite American, International runners to watch

NBA

2014 NBA Finals odds: Ranking which playoff teams…

2014 NBA Finals odds: Ranking which playoff teams have the best shot at a championship. The Thunder, Clippers, Heat and Rockets lead the way.

NFL

2014 Patriots, full NFL schedule release date announced

2014 Patriots, full NFL schedule release date announced

NBA

Fantasy basketball: Finding next year's NBA studs

Before we put the 2013-14 fantasy basketball season to bed, it’s worth thinking about next year’s breakouts while they’re fresh in our mind.

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.

Travel

Earth Day travel in the Florida Keys

See why this eco-friendly destination deserves your attention.

Tech

Sorry, Facebook — FarmVille goes mobile with 'Country…

Zynga has released a version of the hit "FarmVille" tailored for smartphones and tablets in the hope of reaping a bumper crop of players.