NSFW: Porn spoof features Time Warner cable guy

New Yorkers have a hate-hate relationship with Time Warner Cable, the only cable option in many parts of the city. If you need proof, just check Twitter and search for @TWC_NYNJ to see a long list of complaints from subscribers in the area. Now, CollegeHumor has envisioned a porno in which the cable guy works for Time Warner. Spoiler alert: He is a terrible lover.

The spoof contains a typical housewife-meets-cable-guy plot, but this cable guy doesn’t exactly turn up the heat. When the female character talks about her Time Warner bundle, the cable guy informs her, “You’re going to have to take all of it. Even the parts you don’t care about.” When she responds that it sounds huge, he whispers, “It barely works.”

The woman informs the cable guy that his performance is “so much slower than advertised,” alluding to Time Warner’s Internet service, and their not-so-steamy encounter includes an enraging phone call put on hold.

All Time Warner subscribers will feel this woman’s pain when she tells the cable guy “it’s not working.” He responds, “Did you try pulling it out and plugging it back in?” When their session ends and the cable guy leaves, the housewife informs him she’ll be waiting: “You’re the only penis available in my zip code.”

Follow Andrea Park: @andreapark


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