Sort out the naughty from the nice holiday music

This year’s holiday releases are a mixed bag.  Michael Bublé flirts with Santa, a Stone Temple Pilot gets into reggae and jazz and the Biebs is all over the place.  Metro helps you sort the naughty from the nice. Also, if you want to hear two-and-a-half hours of holiday music, scroll down to the bottom right now, and then come back up here and read the rest of this.

Michael Bublé, "Christmas"
Naughty: The biggest problem with this album is that once you hear it, you’ll have to admit that you like Michael Bublé. But if the people you’re telling have heard “Christmas,” then they’ll go easy on you.
Nice: Bublé is silly, classy, and so right on-key. Plus, he re-imagines almost every song on this album. Sure, it’s a little weird to hear “Santa Baby” as a vaguely homoerotic May/December come-on, but his torch song treatment of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” unearths a real longing that’s missing in Mimi’s version.

She & Him, “A Very She & Him Christmas”
Naughty: M. Ward’s guitar playing is as beautiful as ever and Zooey Deschanel’s voice is like the moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, but it would be nice if there was at least one original track to spice up this 12-song collection. If you’re not listening closely to them playing these standards, you might think you’re listening to one really long song.
Nice: She & Him switch the she and him roles on “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” so Zooey Deschanel is the one persuading M. Ward to stay just a little bit longer. This long overdue update makes the 1936 song about 50 percent less date-rapey.

“Glee: The Music, The Christmas Album Vol. 2”
Naughty: This album is full of covers, sung with a self-seriousness that brings out the Grinch in us. In “Do They Know It’s Christmas,” when the cast sings the “thank God it’s them instead of you” line, we couldn’t help but say that exact same thing — then we went and sought out the original version. They keep trying, but no “Glee” cover has surpassed an original.
Nice: “Extraordinary Merry Christmas” is like a snow man  sugar cookie. It’s sweet and you want more of it. But it would taste a lot better if Kelly Clarkson were serving it to us.

Lady Gaga, “A Very Gaga Holiday”
Naughty: This four-song EP, culled from her “A Very Gaga Thanksgiving” TV special, is only 25 percent seasonal.
Nice: Only Mother Monster would have the audacity to add another verse to “White Christmas.” It’s a stupid verse about her “dreaming of a white snow man,” but it’s kind of funny and her voice is right on.

My Morning Jacket, “iTunes Session”
Naughty: Yeah, we know that My Morning Jacket recorded this seven-song collection as part of an “iTunes Session,” but couldn’t they have given it a cooler title?
Nice: The band’s classic reverb approach suits the snowy majestic ideal of Christmas perfectly. This collection seems like it was recorded specifically for just sitting in front of the Christmas tree and marveling. The band bring new life to The Band’s “Christmas Must Be Tonight.”

Eldridge Rodriguez, “Christmas on the Allston-Brighton Line”
Naughty: The major downfall of this three-song EP is that it’s only a three-song EP.
Nice: The way that E.R. inte-grates pre-existing holiday lines into his originals is effortless. “I’ve got my records on, but all I play is ‘Silent Night,’” he sings on “Baby I’m Alone Tonight (Christmas Time).” And though his narrator is certainly having a blue Christmas, there’s a playfulness to the presentation, evident from the title of the song “Christmas Eve (At Old Country Buffet).”

Scott Weiland, “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”
Naughty: The first half of this album finds the Stone Temple Pilots singer sounding like a drunk who would be featured on the gag-reel of the “American Idol” auditions episodes.
Nice: As the album goes along, Weiland sobers up, finds his footing and dresses up standards like “What Child Is This” and “O Holy Night” in jazzy and island rhythms, respectively.

Mariah Carey & John Legend, “When Christmas Comes”
Naughty: This song from Mariah’s 2010 album, “Merry Christmas II You,” was rolled out as a single last month. With its department store horns and not-so-smooth R&B groove, the tune sounds like it was recorded for a made-for-basic-cable-television movie. There are little sleigh bells in the recording and the lyrics are cringe-worthy, with  lines like “I can’t wait to unwrap your love” mixed with a light “Jesus is the reason for the season” reference.
Nice: The album artwork is actually pretty cool, made to look like a well-worn record cover in the tradition of the Carpenters.

Check out some of these tunes below, or you can download the Definitive Metro Monthly Music Podcast December edition by clicking here.