Is happiness something that happens to you, or something that you make happen for yourself? If you ask “Glee’s” Jenna Ushkowitz that question, she’ll tell you it’s the latter.

In fact, she’s written the book on finding your own glee through the power of self-affirmation and positive thinking. “Choosing Glee: 10 Rules to Finding Inspiration, Happiness, and the Real You” is part memoir, part self-help tome, and all motivational. Written through anecdotal vignettes, personal photos, lists and charts, “Choosing Glee” is Ushkowitz’ way of giving back to the world, putting out positivity as a means of reaping more good vibes. “I like to think that positivity is a choice, and you wake up and make a conscious decision,” says the 27-year-old actress. And though she admits, “I’ve never been through any really dark times where I hit rock bottom,” she seems to know what she’s talking about.

So, what’s this book really about?

It’s 10 rules that I live by, to success, to where I’ve gotten, where I am. I just wanted to share that with my fans and readers. You know, to tell them that it’s something you can choose to believe in every day. It’s like your mantra. You know, there are like people who feel that they’re the victim and it’s always happening to them? You can turn that around, and change your outlook on life, and it really makes life a little bit brighter.

Have you always thought this way?

Yeah, I think I’ve always been this way. You could say I was born this way, but I also think I owe it to my parents teaching me to have a good head on my shoulders, and rely on my support system, and always stay true to who you are.

But what about somebody who wasn’t born that way?

Well, again, it’s making it a choice. You make it a choice, and every day you wake up and make it your mantra and say today I’m going to make the best of every situation and look at every situation with the glass half full. And then, after awhile, it sort of becomes subconscious and it becomes a way of life. It’s a lifestyle change, it’s like a diet. People always say, oh, I’m going to diet for this amount of time — well, it’s actually a lifestyle change you need to make.

Can you think of a recent situation where you had to make that choice?

Sure, I mean there was a time in the industry where I did a pilot — my belief is that everything happens for a reason — so I was doing this pilot and it got picked up, and I was all excited, and then I got this phone call that they actually weren’t going to pick me up, that they were going to recast me. And the first thing I thought was, ‘Oh, well, I’m not a good actor; I’m fat, I’m ugly, they hate me!’ (laughs) And then you turn around and say, you know what? It wasn’t me, it wasn’t meant to be, and actually it turned out that the reason was that I was a little too young. But you still believe, Oh, they’re lying,’ so I went to my friends and we vegged out and did our thing, it’s like a breakup. But then you get over it. And I then went on to book “Spring Awakening,” and then “Glee,” and wouldn’t have finished college. So you have to look at it like, well, I wouldn’t have been able to experience those things.

So you’re obviously a big believer in karma.

Oh yeah, 100 percent. Everything happens for a reason and I believe in karma. I believe that what you give to the world — the energy that you give to the world — is what you get back. And it will come back to you if you’re not good to it. (laughs)

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It seems impossible: A baby — many times not much older than newly born — going to the bathroom directly into the toilet and not a diaper. Thanks to a much-circulated New York Times article last month that featured these poopy miracles, “elimination communication” has become the buzzword for plugged-in parents everywhere.

The EC technique means watching and listening to your baby’s cues about when they might be, well, “eliminating.” Tipped off to their bodily functions, you then put them over a potty, thus training them at an early age that the place to go is the bathroom, not their diapers. Christine Gross-Loh has been preaching this alternative to toilet training for years; her book, “The Diaper Free Baby,” has been the instruction manual for EC devotees since it was published in 2007. Here she gives advice on being No. 1 in the “number two” business.

How is EC different from regular toilet training?
The most basic difference is that you start EC earlier, before a child has become so used to eliminating in diapers that potty training is a whole new transition he has to get used to (and may be resistant to). Babies are born with this awareness of elimination, but as they become used to eliminating in a diaper all the time, they lose that awareness — and have to work on becoming aware again when they reach the age of conventional toilet training. With EC, your child has known from an early age that a diaper is not the only place to eliminate, and using a potty or toilet becomes second nature to your child. EC’ed children are often out of diapers completely at or before the age when most children are just beginning to embark on potty training.

Wouldn’t it be easier for parents to potty train their children on their own when they are older?
It depends on how you define easier. Parents may wonder if EC is really easier because at first, a parent is the one taking her baby to the toilet. But a lot of parents who EC find it easier that they don’t have to deal with diapers as much for so many years, and that their child can just eliminate in a toilet (less messy). Parents who do EC also often find that their babies aren’t eliminating randomly or frequently once they prefer using a toilet to a diaper — which eases worries that they’d be constantly running their baby to the toilet!

What advice do you have for working parents who live in cities who may want to try EC?
EC can be done during the evening or on weekends. Even if you are at home with your baby full time, you may not be doing EC full time. It’s easy to have some diaper-free time during the evening, or sit your baby on the potty before and after his bath. Doing EC does not mean you have to ditch diapers completely.

What are some drawbacks to EC? Benefits?
It’s hard to do anything when it’s not a cultural norm — you may get less support and less information. Information about EC — about typical stages, about the logistics — is really key.  Luckily, the information and support is out there as more and more parents do EC. And there are so many great reasons to give it a try: There are communication benefits (you learn to read your baby just as you learn how to figure out when he is hungry or sleepy), environmental and economic benefits (you go through fewer diapers,) and health benefits too (less diaper rash). Finally, you are not relying on diapers so much that your child becomes reluctant to let go of them (a problem that some parents face when doing conventional toilet training).

Why do you think EC has taken off in recent years?
I think it’s because there are so many parents out there who know more about the world around us. They know that in cultures around the world, it’s not at all the norm for a baby older than 1 to be in a diaper (if he was ever in a diaper at all). When you know that this isn’t a universal thing, it makes you feel more open to understanding why and how this is, and to realizing there are some viable lessons here for us. It’s also kind of instinctive: I know so many parents who could tell their newborn was eliminating — it’s usually so obvious at that age — but conventional wisdom tells us to change the diaper after he’s done. EC gives us permission to follow our instincts and common sense.

EC has also become more popular because we realize there are so many ways to do it. When I had my first child 13 years ago, before EC was widely known, I had heard of EC but thought of it as a black-or-white endeavor — you either do it fully or you don’t. I simply couldn’t imagine how you could make it work in a culture where we have so many homes with carpets! But my experiences showed me that you can do it to any degree that works for you. Even if your baby sits on the potty just once a day, there are benefits.

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For Lucy Knisley, the decision to create an illustrated memoir was easy. “Food is something that interests me, and comics are how I tell my stories, so it was a natural decision to make comics about food,” she says about the impetus for her new memoir, “Relish: My Life in the Kitchen,” a hybrid kitchen how-to and memoir.

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For Lucy Knisley, the decision to create an illustrated memoir was easy. “Food is something that interests me, and comics are how I tell my stories, so it was a natural decision to make comics about food,” she says about the impetus for her new memoir, “Relish: My Life in the Kitchen,” a hybrid kitchen how-to and memoir. Here’s how she cooked it up.

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  PHOTOS: Artwork from Lucy Knisley’s memoir, ‘Relish: My Life in the Kitchen’

Each chapter is bookended with an illustrated recipe; how did you pick these recipes?
The recipes are simple and familiar to me, and pertain to the chapter previous. I wanted to share some of my favorites, and allow readers to think about food abstractly, through the stories and then, more directly, through the recipes.

Which is your favorite food to draw? Which is the most challenging?
Favorite food to draw is probably the croissant– they’re such fun shapes, and I’ve had a lot of practice with drawing them. My least favorite is probably the kind of food that might taste delicious, but look like brown goo -— like curry or stew. It’s hard to get across what it is through drawing, and that can be frustrating.

Is there some food you just can’t do?
Can’t eat or can’t draw? I think I could draw any food! I had the opportunity in Korea not long ago to try eating live octopus. It’s a little dangerous, as the octopus can choke you on the way down if you don’t fully chew it up first, and while I eat meat, I just couldn’t chew up a live creature in my mouth — especially one so cute. Pass.

When did you realize that food was something to cherish rather than fear?
I’ve never feared food– always loved it. It’s something inherent in my upbringing, to love and to be curious about food. There’s a lot to fear nowadays, of course, but it’s important to remember that food is a shared human experience and can open us up to new experiences that connect us with one another, which is not to be feared.

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Caleb Cain Marcus, a photographer living in New York City, became enchanted by the Perito Moreno glacier of Patagonia in 2010.

He spent the next two years traveling to Iceland, Norway, New Zealand and Alaska to make the images that comprise “A Portrait of Ice,” recently published to critical acclaim by Damiani. Three images from the series were recently acquired by the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York.

Cain Marcus writes: “As the boat that crossed Lake Argentino swayed
back and forth, I thought about the oppression created by the lack of a
horizon in an urban environment and what would happen if there was no visible horizon in the open space. What would happen if it vanished?”
 So he toyed with the idea of shooting the glacial landscape as if it were a vertical city, with no earthbound orientation.

Cain Marcus scrambled across the Perito Moreno wearing homemade crampons fashioned by local guides to easily, and safely, traverse the type of ice that forms this glacier. Lost in utter silence, broken only by the crunch of frozen snow underfoot and the occasional clashing sound of the camera’s shutter, he tested his idea, frame after frame.

In his introduction to “A Portrait of Ice,” noted photography curator and editor Marvin Heiferman writes: “It is the painterly qualities of these stark images, as
 much as photographic ones, that makes the work seductive. The woozy 
atmospheric conditions that prevail look as if they are airbrushed or 
stippled in. Images of crenellated landscapes that evoke the surfaces
 of the brain or the moon, give the impression of being dusted with
 pigment, like pastels.”

http://calebcainmarcus.com/

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As a nationally touring comic, Jim Gaffigan is no stranger to hectic schedules and sleepless nights. His new book “Dad is Fat” is the latest addition to an extensive comedic resume, in which Gaffigan applies his trademark self-effacing humor to observations about parenting. He’d like you to buy a copy so that his seven-member family can finally upsize from their jam-packed two-bedroom place in Manhattan.

How crazy is life with five kids under 8 in a two-bedroom?
It is insane. But everyone who lives in New York or a metropolitan area is sacrificing a lot of space. No one moves to New York because they can get more space. But I like convenience too much. I can put my kids to bed, and 10 minutes later be onstage somewhere.

Parenting so many little kids seems incompatible with the lifestyle of a stand-up comedian.
Being a parent is incompatible with just about everything, if you want to do it right. There’s something of a contrarian spirit in being a comedian that doesn’t necessarily seem like it would prepare you to be a father. I intentionally didn’t bring my kids up in my act for a couple years. I like my stand-up to be universal. On Twitter, I posted different comments I wouldn’t say in my stand-up, and that led to the book.

What was your thought process while writing the book?
I wanted this book to be observational and substantive. And I focused it on hopefully being funny. I didn’t want it to be completely foreign from my stand-up. As far as parenting goes, I have no idea what I’m doing! This is not an advice book, a confessional or a complaint.

Have your kids seen your comedy?
I have a 7-year-old and an 8-year-old, and they have an idea of what I do. It’s a very strange occupation to attempt to explain to a kid. As a comedian, you also have an additional parenting crisis: You have to teach kids to be polite and not be joking around all the time.

Your most famous bit is about Hot Pockets – do your kids like to eat them?
No. They’ve never even had them!

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There are sites all across Europe, from the Normandy beaches to Auschwitz, where travelers can recall the acts of heroism and sacrifice that occurred there during World War II.

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  PHOTOS: Artwork from Robert Edsel’s ‘Saving Italy’

But the war rarely crosses the minds of tourists taking in some of Italy’s most-visited cultural treasures, like the Last Supper, Michelangelo’s David, Florence’s Ponte Vecchio bridge. But those masterpieces still stand only because of the efforts of a group of little-known art historians and educators turned soldiers known as Monuments Men.

“To think that some 65 years after the war, there’s a story of such epic proportion that the broad public really doesn’t know about is astonishing,” says author Robert Edsel. “When we consider some of the problems that we experienced in the aftermath of the looting of the National Museum of Iraq in 2003, which was a small regional conflict, it’s remarkable to imagine that we were able to do this with just a hundred or so men and women during a truly world war.”

Edsel’s latest book, “Saving Italy: The Race to Rescue a Nation’s Treasures From the Nazis,” recounts the efforts of the Monuments Men to preserve, protect and recover some of the greatest works of art in the history of western civilization. Throughout the war, works by the likes of Leonardo, Caravaggio, Raphael and Botticelli were threatened by bombings or looting by Nazi soldiers hunting for specimens for Hitler’s collection.

“The Monuments officers had been assigned to protect cultural monuments and treasures from Allied bombing,” Edsel explains. “We didn’t want to be the goats of history by destroying western civilization’s cultural heritage in the process of trying to defeat Hitler and the Nazis. But when they arrived the degree of premeditated theft was vastly in excess of anything they’d anticipated.”

Edsel’s previous book, “The Monuments Men,” is being turned into a film by George Clooney, who’s co-starring with Matt Damon and Cate Blanchett.

“It’s a great story about ordinary people doing extraordinary things,” says Keller, who recently visited the set in Berlin. “I don’t think we can ever hear too many stories about something good we did as a country.”

If you go

Robert Edsel
Friday, 6:30 p.m.
Philadelphia Museum of Art
26th Street & Ben Franklin Parkway
$5-$12, 215-763-8100
www.philamuseum.org

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In her third book, “Go Big or Go Home,” acclaimed tattoo artist and reality star Kat Von D delves deep to tell stories from her own life, and experiences she’s shared with clients. Chock-full of photos of tattoos in various stages of completion, and the people who wear them, the book sheds light on the personality, process and profession of one of the tattoo world’s brightest stars. We had a few questions for Kat about the arts of ink and writing.

What made this book more challenging to write than your other two?
I’ve always been an open book – no pun intended. it’s just a little bit more profound on an emotional level. I want to be as open and honest as possible, even in all my flaws.

What do you love most about tattooing?
There’s all this negative stigma surrounding people with tattoos. But I’ve always thought it’s a form of being openly devoted to something, and that’s a very rare and great quality to have. You listen to people’s stories during an intimate session, and really get to know somebody. I like the idea of being extra connected to a piece because you know how much it’s valued by the client.

You’re known for your portrait work. How did you get into that?
I think it has to do with the television show. I was doing a lot of them on there and got a reputation for portraits. I love black and grey realism. So I could do a portrait of a paper clip, or a person, and I’d still get excited. It’s more about the textures and accuracy.

You’re in a boy’s club – what’s it like being a female tattoo artist?
I go back and forth on that subject. Although I feel lucky to be a girl because it’s fun to be a girl, I get kind of annoyed by these uber-feminists who make gender such a big part of who they are. I don’t think gender should define you. I’ve always wanted my work to speak for itself. So, as for the challenges of being in a male-dominated field? I get cramps once a month, but that’s it.

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Benjamin Percy didn’t set out to write a typical werewolf novel. The 34-year-old author says he’s “always loved the epic novel — the kind that swallows up your life, that tangles you in its complicated web — and I’ve always wanted to write one.” And his new book “Red Moon” is just that. The sweeping tome is a mixture of a supernatural thriller (hello, werewolves!), a love story and a political allegory all wrapped up into one insanely readable package. Here’s how he did it:

Can you tell us a little about how you came about writing a book about werewolves? It wasn’t because you were secretly looking for the next supernatural phenomenon after vampires, were you?
Some of the most lasting horror stories target cultural unease. Consider Frankenstein: The creature embodies the fear of science and technology, man playing God, all of the anxieties that swirled out of the Industrial Revolution. So when I sat down to brainstorm “Red Moon,” I considered what we fear now. We fear disease (look at the Purell oozing from every counter top, the panicked headlines about bird flu, swine flu, West Nile), and we fear terrorism (as the recent Boston bombing and ricin-laced letters so unfortunately reminded us). I have braided these two elements together. That’s the strategic answer.

Here’s the anecdotal one. I moved recently, and when pawing through some old boxes discovered a sixth grade “research” paper. The title: “Werewolves!” There is a table of contents, though the paper is only five pages long, and the final section concerns The Ceremony of the Wolf. In my backyard, under a full moon, I followed the instructions in a mildewed book from the library and tried to transform myself into a wolf. In other words, this book has been a long time coming. (Oh, and you should avoid me on a full moon.)

Why do you think apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic plotlines are so addictive these days?
Apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic narratives have been around forever, but since 9/11, there has been a flood of films and novels. The end of the world has never been so popular because the end of the world has never seemed more possible, due to political and economic and environmental unrest.

What kind of research did you do to nail down the book’s militaristic aspects?
Every story is a research project, but “Red Moon” was more challenging than most. I spent dozens of hours with researchers at the USDA and Iowa State University, trying to figure out the slippery science behind animal-borne pathogens (lobos, as I’ve written it, is a prion) and vaccinations. I had to talk to politicians and government agents and brewmasters and pharmacists. And, yes, soldiers. I bought them coffee, scribbled down jargon and procedure and ranks and stories in yellow legal tablets. I also read blogs and articles. I watched documentaries. And I got my hands on the Marine Corps handbook.

There are many facets at play in “Red Moon” — there’s a love story, it’s a political allegory, human rights are addressed — the nuances interspersed within the pages go on. But if you had to whittle down the point of “Red Moon,” what is it? What is at its core?
I’ve always loved the epic novel — the kind that swallows up your life, that tangles you in its complicated web — and I’ve always wanted to write one. I hope my readers feel struck by the political allegory, and I hope their pulse quickens with the love story, and I hope the more horrifying passages scare the pants off of them. Its core — this post-9/11 reinvention of the werewolf myth — is thought-provoking entertainment.

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Bottoms up, craft beer lovers! A new book by beer enthusiast and journalist Tom Acitelli is getting us nice and thirsty for a pint of something heavy on the hops. “The Audacity of Hops” explores the craft beer revolution as people put down the cans and pick up home-bottled or specialty brews instead. Bring your appetite, too — Acitelli says a big part of the craft beer revolution is accompanying your brew of choice with something delicious to snack on.

You’re no stranger to writing about beer. What attracts you to the topic, other than the obvious perk of sampling the goods?
I actually approached it as a journalist telling a business story and this, at its heart, is that. As I started researching, I found the craft beer business intersects with a lot of culinary trends. Another tangent is the role that craft breweries physically played in different cities. Anchor Brewery in San Francisco is that city’s biggest manufacturing company. Brooklyn Brewery in Williamsburg had a lot to do with the gentrification in Brooklyn.

What do you think sparked the craft beer revolution? Were beer drinkers just tired of the mass-produced stuff?
There were two things: There was an excise tax cut in 1976 for smaller brewers. Suddenly, it became less expressive to brew on a smaller scale. Two years later, home brewing was legalized at a federal level in 1978. Home brewers could hobnob with commercial brewers, get new material from Europe and suddenly take that knowledge and turn pro at lower costs. I do think along with that was a societal shift; people did get tired of homogenized beer. It all tasted the same after a while.

Usually wine is more commonly paired with food, but craft beer is really blazing its own trail. What is the concept of locavorism and how does craft beer play a role?
One of the key concepts in craft beer is traditional ingredients. Another thing is small batches. That gels nicely with locavorism, which is eating artisanal foodstuffs that are made close to where they are consumed. The intersection of beer and fine food happened very early. The idea that beer can be on the same level as wine, as far as accompanying food, has been going on for a long time, but has really picked up steam in the last 10 years because these [craft] breweries in neighborhoods have helped spawn their own restaurants. I was at one about two years ago — it was a walking tour of Brooklyn beer history and it ended at a restaurant, and it paired beer with cheese. That wouldn’t have happened in Brooklyn about 10 years ago.

The book highlights lots of interesting craft brews that are popping up, including a honey ale at the White House. What was the most interesting example you encountered in your research?
The thing that got me was the rise in extreme beer. It is a unique thing to the United States. Other countries are experimenting with it, but extreme beer is very much an American invention. It’s beer made with extreme amounts of traditional ingredients, like a lot of hops, or extremely unusual ingredients like roots, candies or powders — things that would not have occurred to a Belgian brewer, but Americans do it. To me, extreme beer is an excellent example of American ingenuity.

You dedicated the book to your parents. Are they big beer drinkers?
Not at all. They don’t drink, really. If they had to drink, they would drink Italian wine.

Do you have a favorite beer?
I don’t have a favorite, but I can tell you I used to be very fond of extreme beers, the hoppier beers. Maybe it’s a function of age, but I now appreciate the milder, lower-alcohol beers, a lot of the ones being brewed in the Northeast. I can’t drink like I used to. The extreme beers make it a little difficult to wake up the next morning and work.

Meet Tom Acitelli at his NYC book signings:

Wednesday
Blind Tiger Bar
281 Bleeker St.
7 p.m.

Thursday
Brooklyn Brewery
79 N. 11th St.
7:30 p.m.

“The Audacity of Hops” author Tom Acitelli.

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A number of rock memoirs have hit bookstands recently including those of Eric Clapton, Keith Richards and Pete Townshend.

A year after Adam Yauch died the remaining members of the Beastie Boys announce they plan on writing a memoir.

Much like the Beastie Boys’ music, the memoir promises to be electric and not a typical straight-forward narrative.

Michael Diamond, better known as Mike D, and Adam Horovitz, a.k.a. Ad-Rock, the two surviving members of the hip-hop group signed a deal with Spiegel & Grau, an imprint of the Random House Publishing Group, according to the New York Times.

The memoir has yet to be named and is scheduled to be released in fall 2015.

Julie Grau, the publisher of Spiegel & Grau, said readers should not expect the Beastie Boys’ memoir to be anything like those of other classic rockers such as Clapton and Richards.

The Beastie Boys are “interested in challenging the form and making the book a multidimensional experience,” Grau said in an interview with the New York Times. “There is a kaleidoscopic frame of reference, and it asks a reader to keep up.”

Luke Janklow, the group’s agent, told the Times he had been in talks with the Beastie Boys several years ago about a book but the conversation was dropped after Yach was diagnosed with cancer in 2009.

“After Yach died, I didn’t push them,” he said. “But I think that Adam and Mike ended up realizeing that it was the right time for them.”

Yauch, the third member of the Beastie Boys died last year after a three-year battle with salivary gland cancer. He was 47.

Yauch was a hometown hero for New York City. As news of his death spread a number of locations throughout the city turning into makeshift memorials commemorating MCA.

Follow Mary Ann Georgantopoulos on Twitter @marygeorgant

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Credit: Joyce Ravid

Anna Quindlen is no stranger to sharing the details of her life with millions of followers — her New York Times column, “Life in the 30s,” was a hit with readers for its three-year run. Her memoir, “Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake,” provided Quindlen another opportunity to invite readers into her perfectly imperfect life. Not one to shy away from the industry’s new technologies, the author fielded questions from us via her iPad while in LA for her book tour.

When did you know the time was right to write a memoir?
It wasn’t so much that I wanted to write a memoir as that I wanted to write about how growing older has changed during my lifetime. It became clear to me that the best way to illuminate the ways we live now was to mine my own life for material.

Did you approach this the same way you did your other nonfiction works? Do you approach fiction differently?
I approach almost all my writing in the same basic fashion. I spend as much time as I can reading and reporting, and finally thinking deeply about the subject and the themes that interest me. I obviously don’t do the reporting when I’m writing a novel, but the months of constant mulling are certainly a big part of the process.

What surprised you about writing a memoir?
For three years I wrote a column in the New York Times that basically took place in my kitchen, so there’s very little about intensely personal and sometimes revelatory writing that I don’t already know. No surprises, except that telling stories about yourself is like riding a bicycle — the knack comes right back as soon as you’re sitting down and pedaling.

Were you ever nervous or apprehensive to reveal such private details about hard subjects, like when you gave up drinking, for example?
I’ve had to learn over the years what can go into print, and what is too much information, perhaps not for the reader but for friends and family. When I had a finished manuscript of “Candles” I gave it to my husband and three children, who had absolute veto rights. No one exercised them, I suspect because I had already been pretty sensitive about what not to include. Certainly discussing the fact that I stopped drinking 24 years ago was a bit of a leap for me. But I thought it might be helpful for other women who have had issues with alcohol.

What is the best compliment someone could give you as a writer?
There are two. Sometimes a conservative will say to me about my political columns, “I don’t agree with your politics, but you always make me think about things in a different way.” hat’s huge for me; preaching to the choir is one thing, but engaging with those who are not on the same page feels like a real accomplishment, especially in our divided and divisive society. The other thing is that women will sometimes tell me that they feel as though I’m telling the story of their lives.

If you go:

Anna Quindlen in conversation with Lauren Graham
Thursday, 7:30 p.m.
Barnes & Noble Union Square
33 E. 17th St., 212-253-0810

The post Anna Quindlen has her “Cake” and eats it too appeared first on Metro.us.

In times of disaster, there are those who run. And then there are those who run directly into the fray. Journalist Chris Faraone is one of the those people. The former reporter for the Boston Phoenix, the now defunct alt-weekly, is an immersive journalist (a Gonzo journalist, really,) the kind who doesn’t mind getting a little dirt on his hands while hunting for the facts other journalists might leave un-dug. The kind who relishes it.

Faraone has camped in the trenches of the Occupy movement — following the movement tirelessly, some might say doggedly — reporting from hotspots in Dewey Square and camps across the country. These months spent exhaustively reporting the grassroots protests for the Phoenix birthed the 34-year-old writer’s first book, the self-published 99 Nights with the 99 Percent.

Now, just two weeks after the bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon, he’s penned his second book. Heartbreak Hell is an e-book that chronicles Faraone’s experiences reporting the attack on the marathon —both as a journalist and a self-appointed Bostonian — over many sleepless hours fueled, by his own admission, by a lot of drugs and a lot of heart.

Faraone recently won Boston-based online news site BostInno’s Write to Power Books distinction in the media category of their 50 on Fire awards, which honor those “setting the Boston scene on fire,” the wording now imbued with a kind of eerie symmetry, considering the content of Heartbreak Hell. We caught up with Faraone in preview of the e-book’s release — available for free at heartbreakhell.com — before he left town for a much-needed vacation (the reporter’s first real bit of time off in some 10 odd years). “If people read the book, they’ll understand why,” he said.

How the hell did you manage to write an entire book, in the span of two weeks, while juggling all your various freelance assignments?

Some of those assignments — for Dig Boston, for the American Prospect —were incorporated into the book, but they only account for a bit of it. Otherwise, this is a work of gut reaction and reporting. I was just a few blocks away when the bombs went off. From that point on, I was reporting and writing for about 20 hours a day — whether on Twitter, walking the streets filling notepads, or sitting at bars processing it all the best I could.

What was your initial, gut reaction when you first became aware what was going down that day?

First my reaction was that there was no way this was an attack. I thought it must have been some sort of accident. And then, amidst the people who were still going about their business merrily, I saw more and more people crying, and even sobbing uncontrollably, lost. Having been in New York City on 9/11, my thought at that point was that I really can’t believe something like that is happening again. Then I thought to start reporting.

What has this experience these past few weeks been like, as both a Bostonian and a reporter?

As someone who lives in Boston by choice, it’s strange to see so much attention put on the place from outside. I’m from New York, and one thing I love about Boston is that it’s not the focus of attention. It’s a great place, we know it, a lot of tourists love it, the teams win, and that’s good enough for us. It’s been interesting to watch the reaction from outsiders this time around, because from their perspective it’s hard to see that there were different reactions, that not everyone was just holding up “Boston Strong” banners and acting like we won the World Series. As a reporter, I set out to show the different types of impacts that this heinous act of violence had on people and circumstances that we didn’t see much of in most reporting in the immediate aftermath.

Did you pitch this book around at all, or immediately decide to put it on the web?

Maybe one day this — or some version of Heartbreak Hell — will come out as a regular print book. At this point, though, that’s the last thing on my mind. I just want to get the story out there to as many people as possible. Whether it’s cathartic, or just a different take on things, the stories I tell are the kinds that I think people will want to remember down the line. The book is kind of a time capsule.

Why did you decide to package this as a free online book?

I think it just matched the spirit of the whole reaction. The last thing I want to do right now is run around hawking a book about this tragedy. These are just stories that I want to get out there, while they’re fresh. I got help from my friend Clarence Smith Jr. (of Bold Edition) to develop what I can honestly say is one of the most dynamic and beautiful-looking online e-books ever released by anyone. There’s also a version on Amazon for Kindle, and that cost me a little bit to format, so that one is 99 cents. A little secret though — it’s not nearly as cool looking as the free version.

Check out Chris Faraone’s “Heartbreak Hell” at HeartbreakHell.com.

The post Chris Faraone goes to ‘Heartbreak Hell’ and back with new e-book about the Boston Marathon bombings appeared first on Metro.us.

Amber Dusick started her blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because she  ”needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you’re not the one wiping it up.” Dusick is not an artist — not by a long shot — but it is her insights coupled with her amateur drawings that will make any parent chuckle in recognition. Her funny asides are compiled in the new book “Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures.”

The post PHOTOS: Parenting, via stick figures appeared first on Metro.us.

During our interview about his new book, “Top of the Morning: Inside the Cutthroat World of Morning TV,” Brian Stelter consistently refers to the ouster of Ann Curry on the “Today” show as “The Ann Curry Disaster.”

And a disaster it was. After an awkward first year, Curry was unceremoniously replaced as co-host of “Today” in 2012. It was far from smooth transfer: On her last day on set, Curry actually cried when she announced she was leaving the show; she then visibly flinched when Matt Lauer tried to comfort her. The entire watching world cringed simultaneously — and her loyal audience left in droves, thus knocking “Today” off its throne as the No. 1 morning program by “Good Morning America,” a title “Today” held for 15 years.

And while this was terrible for Curry, it was a delicious twist for Stelter, a media reporter for The New York Times, who was already working on a book about the morning TV wars. “The Ann Curry Disaster happened in June 2012,” he says. “At that point I had already been deep inside the show for about six months.”

Stelter then wrote as fast as he could to make sure the topic was still fresh. NBC, who has been attempting damage control ever since Curry left, has been clobbered again by “Top of the Morning,” which paints Matt Lauer, Jim Bell (his former boss), and ex-NBC News president Steve Capus as office bullies who dubbed the systematic removal of Curry as “Operation Bambi.” “I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Matt Lauer came out in March and gave interviews and talked about the Ann Curry Disaster for the first time. I think it makes a lot of sense that he was trying to give a pre-rebuttal to my book. A ‘prebuttal,’ if you will,” says Stelter.

But don’t cry for “Today.” In a way, Stelter thinks the upheaval at our morning television mainstays are a good thing. “I think it’s inevitable that the ‘Today’ show will get back to first place. It’s just a question of when,” he says. “‘Good Morning America’ was losing for 15 years; now it’s winning, so they’re not going to let that go without a fight. And what we see on air every day now is that fight — which is very interesting to watch.”

The post Brian Stelter: ‘Today’ show will be back on top appeared first on Metro.us.

Lesbian trysts and suicide, police corruption and murder – it’s easy to see why publishers HarperCollins paid $4 million for Amanda Knox’s memoir from the murder case of the century. “Waiting to be Heard” is released Tuesday, along with Knox’s first TV interview, five and a half years after the murder of British student Meredith Kercher for which she was convicted, and then acquitted.

But the plans have been rocked by a pending re-trial for her and alleged accomplice, ex-boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito, after the Italian Supreme Court overturned their acquittal. The memoir’s UK release has been delayed over fears that Knox could be sued for defaming police investigators.

“There are so many questions now and they don’t work in her favor,” crisis management PR specialist Glenn Selig told Metro. “The publishers thought they had a done deal, the case was over and she was wrongfully accused. Had they known it would shift I suspect they would not have made the deal.”

Although HarperCollins denies that there are “legal problems” for the book, it may provide ammunition for prosecutors. “Possibly we can find a new element for the trial from the book,” Kercher family lawyer Francesco Maresca told Metro, adding that he would read it in preparation for the case.

The victim’s family are also disgusted that Knox will become a millionaire from the story of Meredith’s death, having criticized her acquittal. “They believe it is injustice to make so much money from a murder,” Maresca said.

Advanced sales for the book have been slower than expected, but if Knox performs well on her TV interview with ABC’s Diane Sawyer it could dramatically improve her prospects. “If the public believe her story there is huge potential as they will see her as a victim of injustice,” said Selig. “It could be the springboard for her to become a TV personality and people will forget why she became famous.”

Amanda Knox timeline

1 Nov 2007: Meredith Kercher stabbed to death in Perugia, Italy.
6 Nov 2007: Roommates Amanda Knox and Raffaelle Sollecito arrested and charged with murder, with Knox’s boss Diya Lumumba.
20 Nov 2007: Lumumba, held following Knox statements, released for lack of evidence.
6 Dec 2007: Ivory Coast ‘drifter’ Rudy Guede extradited from Germany and jailed on arrival in Italy.
28 Oct 2008: Judge indicts Knox and Sollecito on murder and sexual assault charges. Guede convicted of murder and sexual assault and sentenced to 30 years in prison.
4 Dec 2009: Court finds Knox guilty of murder and sexual assault; sentences her to 26 years in prison. Sollecito is convicted of same charges and sentenced to 25 years.
Oct 3, 2011: Knox and Sollecito cleared of murder, after DNA evidence shown to be unreliable. Knox pays 22,000 Euro compensation to Lumumba for false accusation of murder.
Mar 26, 2013: Italy’s Supreme Court orders retrial for Knox and Sollecito.
2014: Case to be heard in Florence.

The post Sex, drugs and murder: $4 million ‘Foxy Knoxy’ book has legal and moral problems appeared first on Metro.us.

ASK THE EXPERT  

We tapped Boston nightlife vet DJ Chris Ewen (of “Heroes” and “XMortis”) — who’s been emcee-ing dance nights around town for a lot longer than most of their attendees have been of legal drinking age — to let us know what’s good around town this weekend:

“Our fair city always offers up an abundance of nightlife goodness, and this weekend is especially loaded. Here are my picks: Feel like dancing the night away? This Friday serves up the monthly “goth with a wink” event Superstition: Patterns, at An Tua Nua in Boston, with DJs Punketta, AlexXxan & resident Anomaly. As for Saturday, I must mention my weekly dance party “HEROES“, at TT the Bear’s Place. Expect lots of 80s New Wave, Electro, Punk & other underground musical treats for your pleasure.”

MUSIC

Generationals
Tonight, 9 p.m.
Great Scott
1222 Comm. Ave., Allston
$10, 18+, 800-745-3000
ticketmaster.com

This New Orleans-based duo’s mix of electronic twee and indie pop is a perfect example of the modern music trend of favoring atmosphere over hooks. Their songs just sort of chill on a groove, never getting dull, but never really climaxing either—you get the sense you’re not supposed to listen to them so much as hang out in them.

IAMX
Saturday, 8 p.m.
Brighton Music Hall
158 Brighton Ave., Allston
$18, 18+, 800-745-3000
ticketmaster.com

IAMX, the gloomy, melodramatic project of Berlin-based British musician Chris Corner, has been surfing the borderline between rock and electronica since 2004. Corner’s theatrical stage persona and outlandish gothic style make him as artist who needs to be seen as much as heard. His all-out rock star charisma, seemingly devoid of irony, seems to belong to another era.

Fernando Brandao Sextet
Friday, 10 p.m.
The Beehive
541 Tremont Street, Boston
Free, 617-623-0069
beehiveboston.com

This band is a new project for Fernando Brandao, featuring vocals, flute, guitar, percussion, bass, and drums. The new repertoire mixes original songs, instrumental compositions, and arrangements of classics by Caetano Veloso, Dorival Caymmi, Gilberto Gil, João Donato, Edu Lobo and Tom Jobim.

Alessio Bax
Tuesday, 8 p.m.
Seully Hall, Boston Conservatory
8 The Fenway, Boston
$15, 617-912-9266
bostonconservatory.edu

This Italian pianist is known for his lyrical, dramatic style, which will be perfectly appropriate for the composers he’ll be playing tonight: Rachmaninoff and Mussorgsky. His natural force and passion are at home in emotional extremes—he can make the piano whisper as tenderly as he makes it scream and shout, pulling you right into the piece’s humanity.

Slang
Friday, 8 p.m.
Distler Performance Hall, Tufts University
20 Talbot Ave., Somerville
Free, 617-627-3679
tufts.edu

File this concert by the Tufts New Music Ensemble, featuring New York counterparts Loadbang, under “something completely different.” Just like slang terms pioneer new kinds of linguistic meaning, the composers whose works these ensembles perform are trying to push music into new territory. So if it seems like lunacy coming out of their instruments, that’s just the sound of freshness.

COMEDY

Walsh Brothers Benefit for the Richard Family
Friday, 7 p.m.
Great Scott
1222 Comm Ave, Allston
$20, 617-566-9014
greatscottboston.com

We’re of the mind that, sometimes, things are so bad that all you can do is laugh. And when that laughter benefits a cause as good as this, all the better. The Walsh Brothers, who took their hilarious Boston-bent comedy to the left coast a few years ago are still dedicated to their hometown. This event — in conjunction with Anderson Comedy — will raise money for the family of Martin Richard, the little boy killed in the attack on the Boston Marathon. All proceeds benefit the Richard family.

Craig Gass and Aziz Ansari
Wilbur Theatre
246 Tremont St., Boston
Gass $22, Anzari $47 617-248-9700
ticketmaster.com

The Wilbur is hosting a double-booking of a comedy for a good cause this weekend. On Friday comedian Craig Gass (he of the spot-on Pacino impression) will be donating his percentage of his stand-up show’s proceeds to Boston Marathon victims. Saturday, Aziz Ansari is hosting a just-announced stand-up show of which 100 percent of ticket proceeds (plus an additional $9,500 donation from the Wilbur) will be donated to The One Fund Boston & The Officer Richard Donohue Fund. Laugh on!

THEATER

‘Pericles’
Through May 12
Modern Theatre, Suffolk University
525 Washington St., Boston
$33-$50, 866-811-4111
ovationtix.com

Actors’ Shakespeare Project’s presents a piece of the Shakespeare canon that’s gotten a bit of a bum rap historically, partly because it’s believed that Shakespeare only wrote at most half of the play. The Bard’s contemporary Ben Jonson called it a “mouldy tale,” but it’s also had its fans, such as T.S. Eliot, who praised its larger-than-life humanity as “ultra-dramatic.”

‘Drawin’ on the Walls’
Friday through May 4
Boston Playwrights’ Theatre
$21-$26, 866-811-4111
ovationtix.com

Local theatre company FUDGE presents this original musical by Chris Guin, which tells of a young artist who’s retreated into his own private fantasy world. To him, the dragons he draws aren’t just pictures—they come to life. Everything’s fine until a girl from a downer joint called Reality comes to, in her mind, rescue him from a lonely, delusional existence.

ART

Art in Bloom
Saturday through Monday
Museum of Fine Arts, Boston
465 Huntington Ave., Boston
$23-$25, 800-440-6975
mfa.org

Every spring, the Museum of Fine Arts brings in several garden clubs and floral designers to create flower arrangements that complement the art in their galleries—this year they’ve got more than 50, accompanied by a lecture by the floral arranger for the 2011 Royal Wedding, a floral demonstration, classes on floral arrangement and an “elegant tea.”

Beijing Journal
Through July 12
Multicultural Arts Center
41 Second St., Cambridge
Free, 617-577-1400
multiculturalartscenter.org

This 48-picture photoessay by Joseph Levendusky peeks into the shifting world of China’s capital city, focusing on the oldest, most traditional streets and neighborhoods, known as hutongs, which are still holding out after years of relentless, sometimes violent social change—but who can say for how much longer? It’s a narrative whose echoes can be heard not just in China, but everywhere.

FESTIVALS

Harvard Arts First Festival
Thursday through Sunday
Harvard Square
Cambridge
Free, 617-496-2222
ofa.fas.harvard.edu/arts

This festival features performances and work from hundreds of students at both Harvard and its satellite institutions, in every art form, and we mean everything. Seriously—the program is so extensive it has its own iPhone app! Cambridge homeboy Matt Damon will be honored at a special ceremony, and they’ll be holding outdoor screenings of his movies in the evening.

BOOKS

Evgeny Morozov
Friday, 7 p.m.
Harvard Book Store
1256 Mass. Ave., Cambridge
Free, 617-661-1515
harvard.com

This author, a writer for the New Republic, will discuss his new book “To Save Everything, Click Here,” which criticizes the idea that technology can and will equalize society, democratize the world, force political accountability, etc. Morozov believes this attitude severely underestimates the complexity of political, moral, and social problems, and, if unchecked, is likely to create more trouble than it solves.

The post My Metro: Your rundown of what to do and where to go in Boston this weekend appeared first on Metro.us.

Fun drink recipes from the book, “Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist”, by Tim Federle. Cheers to good books and great drinks!

The post PHOTOS: Books and booze come together for a fun drink recipe book appeared first on Metro.us.

He’s proven his skills as a country music star and actor on film, TV and live on Broadway. Now, Billy Ray Cyrus can add published author to his accomplishments. His new memoir, “Hillbilly Heart,” takes a candid look back at Cyrus’ childhood, rise to fame, and personal life as a successful entertainer.

You go into a lot of detail about pain in your past. What was it like to write about that?
It was difficult and therapeutic. I visited some places that I’d put in the back of my mind, locked the door and thrown away the key. They were things that hurt just a bit to go back to. But what I learned was reliving those moments prepares you to move on for the future.

How is writing a book different than writing songs?
Songs come to me very quickly, usually in a moment of inspiration colliding with desperation. The book was a long process: homework, diligence and getting the facts right. I had to sit and think of it a whole lot more.

You know I can’t interview you without asking about Miley. What kind of advice have you given her about the business?
A lot of the advice I gave was advice my dad gave to me, like, “If you ain’t happy, it ain’t workin’.”

What’s up next for you?
I’ve written a TV pilot. I still love film, I love acting, and I’ve written a new album. I’ve been writing songs as I wrote the book; it’s been an infinite source of emotions, and I’ve been able to translate it into music. No sense in slowing down — I love what I’m doing.

One sillier question. What is the craziest rumor you’ve heard about yourself?
I always get a kick out of the Chippendales dancer one. I think that’s pretty funny.

The post Billy Ray Cyrus lays bare his ‘Hillbilly Heart’ appeared first on Metro.us.

As the president and publishing director of Hearst Magazines, Michael Clinton does more than hop on flights for work. He’s a self-described “travelaholic.” And in his new book “The Globetrotter Diaries,” which he bills as hybrid travel guide and memoir, he shares his travel tips coupled with insider insights on his favorite destinations. With summer right around the corner, we asked Clinton to share some of his insider knowledge with the rest of us.

Fly early

“Take the earliest flight out to avoid delays in traffic, security and flight departures,” says Clinton. “That 6 a.m. flight might mean a brutal wake-up call in the middle of the night, but you’ll know that your airplane is there and it’ll be one of the first flights out before the airport gets too congested. You’ll have no traffic and you’ll get through security faster.”

Bring your family into planning

Make sure that there is something for everyone while planning your vacation. “An unhappy teenager can ruin any vacation,” he notes. “I’ve heard too many stories from parents who had a miserable trip because they were interested in visiting a place, but their kids didn’t want to go there.”

Go with the flow (but have a backup plan)

Embrace your inner globetrotter and see where your travels take you. “Half the fun of travel is the unexpected,” he notes. But some surprises aren’t always welcome: Be sure to “read the fine print for extra charges” as well as “always have a Plan B, as a plan can oftentimes fall apart.”

Get points

“Build on your favorite airline premium status for upgrades, faster boarding and special treatment.”

Pack light

“Carry on at all times, regardless of how long you will be away. Think black, think washables.”

Michael Clinton’s top spots to see before you dieParis, France
Santa Fe, N.M.
Antarctica

The post Travel tips from a ‘Globetrotter’ appeared first on Metro.us.

Elise is a single mother whose only child is killed in a freak accident. Distraught, she at first wants to join her son —  but then realizes she must stay alive to care for his beloved cat, which gradually draws her back into life. “The Cat,” by award-winning Israeli-born author Edeet Ravel, got its start from the July 2011 news that a gunman had opened fire at a youth camp on a Norwegian holiday island, killing 77 people, setting off a compulsion that had her writing so rapidly she completed a draft of the book in six weeks. Ravel spoke with Reuters about her writing, loss and why she chose a cat to help her heroine return to life.

What got this book started?
I began writing the book on July 23, 2011, a day that I remember very well because it was the day after the horrific attack in Norway. I read about the terrible tragedy and I thought of the parents. Many writers try to understand these horrific events by writing about the event itself — the violence, the perpetrators, the victims — but I turned my attention to the bereaved parents, and friends and relatives, because their lives can never be the same, and I began writing “The Cat.”

With this novel, even though it was extremely hard to write — in fact, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my writing career — I had at the same time a compulsion to tell Elise’s story. That was really unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. I simply couldn’t stop writing. I’d go to bed scratching sentences in the dark as I fell asleep. I woke up with sentences ready to go and I’d have to rush to the computer to get it all down before doing anything else. I had to leave my exercise class to scribble sentences in the margin of the schedule. Like the time that I left a bar mitzvah in the middle and I went to the ladies’ room and I began scribbling on the bar mitzvah program. It was going on constantly for about six weeks, until the first draft was finished.

Why was there such a compulsion?
I think it was something that had been on my mind for a very long time because I was close to two people who lost children, and because as a parent, like all parents, I live daily with my inability to protect my child from harm, try as I may. So it’s a very emotional topic and probably because it was so difficult to write I pushed it away and tried not to write it. I think there was a build-up. There will always be things we can’t control with our children, and yet the loss of a child is unimaginable — except that a parent lives with that possibility every minute of every day, from the minute our child is born.

She came into your head fully developed?
Yes. It must have happened overnight because I read about the events and I went to sleep. I think I was thinking about what had happened all night. When I woke up, I just wrote on my computer screen “The Cat.”

When you were living so closely and intensely with that world, was that hard for you?
Yes. During the time that I was writing, I can’t remember what else I was doing. The novel took over my life and I was writing every free minute that I had, and it was very emotional. It was difficult. I was extremely involved in the story and I felt that I was not inventing events. In one sense I was creating a fictional world, but in another sense I was writing about something so real that happens, sadly, to so many people.

Why a cat, why not a dog?
I think that she would not have forgotten, even for a few minutes, that she had a dog to take care of. When she comes home from the hospital, she actually has forgotten that there’s a cat in the house. Of course, cats can hide away in a corner and be very quiet and unnoticeable; they can blend in. That beloved creature is the key to her survival, and the cat represents both the spiritual dimension that keeps her alive but also, I think, a more primal energy or instinct that gives us the energy to go on after a loss like that. … I was thinking in terms of both that instinct and the spiritual dimension.

Cats give you more space in general.
Yes. A dog can actually communicate more directly. Many dogs have that ability to communicate with humans, but with the cat there’s more guesswork involved. … [It's] a mirror of her isolation, the mystery and the inability to understand what has happened to her.

The post Mother finds her way back to life with the help of ‘The Cat’ appeared first on Metro.us.

The nameless protagonist in Pakistani native Mohsin Hamid’s third novel, “How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia,” leaves his poor village behind for the glamour of the big city. Written in the style of a self-help book, the story traces the protagonist’s transformation from a simple rural boy to a swank urban tycoon. Along the way, Hamid’s funny, poignant novel explores Asian urbanization, materialism, love and loss.

Can you tell me a bit about the inspiration for the book?
I wanted to write a novel about the huge changes in Asia and much of the world as billions of people move out of the countryside, move to huge cities and start new lives in a new urban environment. My hometown had about a million people when I was born 41 years ago, and it has 10 million today. The same thing that happened to America in the 20th century, when people were leaving the countryside for the cities, is now playing itself out in Asia, Latin America and Africa. There are more economic opportunities in the city.

Not many books are written in the second person. What was your reason for this?
On the surface, the novel is about urbanization and the ferociousness of the market. But underneath that, it is a spiritual quest — how does one find happiness in the midst of this dislocation and materialism? It is really about trying to find some antidote to the anxiety we all feel. It was important for me to be able to talk to the reader. It allows a kind of honesty between us.

The post Mohsin Hamid on his new novel, ‘How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia’ appeared first on Metro.us.

When syndicated parenting columnist Tracy Beckerman gave up her high-powered Manhattan TV career to focus on motherhood, she, her husband and their two young kids left their quintessential New York lifestyle behind for a different one in the Jersey suburbs. Her new life as a full-time mom, however, left Beckerman in a funk. “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir: How I Got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs” tells the story of how the author found her groove in Jersey and learned how important a sense of humor is in raising a family.

How did you decide to swap your city life for a suburban one, and what was the transition like?
After I had my son and went back to my job as a writer and producer for the local news, I never expected that I was going to not really care about it anymore. I felt like I was missing out by not being with my son. So we made the decision that I was going to quit my job. Then we realized that we couldn’t afford to stay in the city! So we moved to New Jersey. I didn’t know anybody, I didn’t have my job to define me anymore and I just sort of lost it. It made it tough to be comfortable in my new role.

How did things begin to change?
My low point is when I got stopped by a cop driving in my dumpy bathrobe. I thought, I’ve got to turn my life around! When my kids went to school, I thought about what I could do that is just for me. One day my son came home from school and told me something funny that happened, and I wrote it down. [The story] came flooding out of me, and the local paper ran it. Soon after, two more papers expressed interest. I realized this was going to be my second act. Finding the humor in parenting made me so much happier.

What should women in this situation keep in mind?
If you defined yourself by your career, it can be very hard when all of a sudden your job title is Stay-At-Home Mom. You need something for yourself that’s not just about your kids — something just for you that you feel good about. I think you end up feeling happier, and it makes you a better parent.

The post How Tracy Beckerman found herself ‘Lost in Suburbia’ appeared first on Metro.us.

Ophira Eisenberg is a stand-up comedian, writer and host of NPR’s new weekly trivia show, “Ask Me Another.” But she is also quite the expert in sleeping around. Or was, until she met “the one.”  Hoping from one futon to another? Just practice. As she puts it, “I think it’s my large sample size and many experiences that led me to the right guy.”

What does NPR think about one of their employees writing a book about sleeping around?
I’m certain almost every one at NPR has had sex so they are okay with it. Almost everyone.

Why are so many comedians so terrible in the sack? Not that I’m asking from experience or anything.
Of course —  it’s a friend of a friend who wants to know right?! I’m a comedian and from what I’ve heard, I’m pretty decent — at least from the comment cards I’ve received.
But if I had to take a guess, it’s because they’re going for the laugh. My advice is that if you don’t like what’s going in the sack, feel free to heckle.

If there is one thing the Ophira of now could tell 20-year-old Ophira, what would it be?
Stop worrying so much! There will always be another beer and another boyfriend in your future.

The post ‘Screw Everyone’ — with pen firmly in hand appeared first on Metro.us.

Marc and Maya Silver

When Maya Silver was grappling with her mother’s breast cancer, she noticed that there weren’t many resources available for teens dealing with a parent’s cancer. So she tag-teamed with her dad — the author of “Breast Cancer Husbands — to create a survival guide for teens undergoing such duress, “My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks.” We asked the father-daughter duo about the best ways to help this underrepresented group cope.

You interviewed many teenagers for this book. Were there any recurring topics?

Maya: The friend issue came up over and over again, like, “My friends don’t really get it” or “I feel like I can’t talk to them about it.” Another thing was communication. [There was] a lot of variation in how much they wanted to know about their parent’s cancer. I think every teen valued being told the truth and being communicated with. We had a lot of teens say that their parents didn’t tell them right away or told them in a weird way and withheld information or made things seem sunnier than they really were. That really made the teens feel betrayed or like they didn’t know what was going on. We emphasize that in the book that communication is very important. It’s gonna vary from family to family, what works best and what everyone wants, but it has to be there.

Marc: Yeah. Some families have a family meeting tradition, and that’s fine, but some families don’t like family meetings and you don’t want to call the first meeting in your family’s history to present this news. Maybe your family works better just chatting in the car. Some people said maybe leave a notebook where everybody goes, and the kids write their questions and the parents read them and write their answers. The idea is that there’s no one size fits all way to tell the kids but like Maya said, you’ve got to be honest.

We often try to lend support to friends going through a rough time by saying something like, “If you need anything, let me know.” But Maya, what are some concrete words or actions that you appreciated when your mom was ill?

Maya: Just understanding. If I didn’t want to have any friends over to the house when my mom was really sick, or if I just wanted to get away and stay busy, I had people there to help me do that. You definitely hear a lot of “I’m so sorry!” [and] constant asking how you’re doing, how you’re family’s doing. That was not very helpful for me. Knowing that I had good friends around me and a strong family was very helpful.

What else did teens find not helpful?

Marc: One girl [we interviewed], Caitlin, went to school, and the teacher asked a question so Caitlin raised her hand to answer. And the teacher goes, “Oh, Caitlin, how’s your mom?” And Caitlin was so mad because she did not want to talk about or have to think about her mom at that moment  — she wanted to answer the question. Kids don’t want to be constantly reminded. A social worker at MD Anderson [Cancer Center] told me about a middle school’s boy’s mom who was diagnosed with cancer, and the school announced it over the [PA system]. They did it out of the best of intentions, I think to rally everybody around this kid, but this is not what that kid needed.

Maya: Another thing is an artificial sense of compassion. We had a couple of really out-there examples, like, “I know exactly how you feel, my gecko just died.” [Or] you tell someone that your mom has a serious form of breast cancer and they’re like, “Oh, my grandma’s sick too.” You want to be like, “You have no idea.”

What were some of most popular ways you found teens deal with their stress?

Marc: They found all kinds of ways to cope, and a lot of the ways they found were really positive, like listening to music, or going for a run, or writing in a journal, or playing video games. What’s cool about that is you’re learning how you can get through a tough time in life, and that’s something you can carry with you throughout your life.

Did you find any differences in how boys handled the issue, versus girls?

Marc: I interviewed a bunch of guys in Cleveland and two of them said that they punched a hole in their bedroom wall or in the house because they were so mad. After that, I asked every boy I interviewed, “So did you punch a hole in the wall?” and almost all of them said they did. (Laughs) There’s a little note in the book that’s how to repair that hole in the wall.

How much information should people at the teen’s school have?

Marc: It’s good if someone at school knows because that way the kid has a confidante. I think some kids might feel like, “Oh, I don’t want anyone at school to know.” And in general most of the experts that we interviewed said it’s really helpful to have someone at the school, even if it’s one person, who knows, because that way if there’s a change in the parents’ condition, if something’s going on at home, then you have a go-to person. If you want the teachers in the classroom to know, [that] can be helpful because a lot of kids were affected in the way they did their work at school — some kids overachieved, some kids just kind of stopped doing homework or didn’t focus as they usually did. It’s good if teachers understand why that’s happening.  And the parents and the kids can talk about it together.

In addition to the teens, you also interviewed a lot of experts. Did their advice match up with what the teens said?

Marc: I think they just emphasized that every kid’s gonna react differently and that that’s OK. One thing that’s surprising is they said some kids just don’t want to talk about it, and that’s OK. You can’t force the conversation when the kid doesn’t want to have it. The other thing that one expert talked about that was kind of intriguing, and I think this is something that adults can relate to too, she used this phrase “the tyranny of positive thinking.” The idea is that we live in a society where everybody wants you to be upbeat all the time and optimistic all the time, and you know what? People aren’t like that. It’s perfectly normal to be down and to be upset.

How can parents go about best communicating with their teen about their illness?

Maya: The first step to communicating is communicate about how you’re going to communicate. (Laughs) So instead of just assuming that your kid wants to know every detail, or that they don’t really want to know anything, or that they only want to hear good news, and instead of a parent assuming that the teen doesn’t want to talk about it, you should say from the outset, “We’re gonna have this experience for the next one to however many years —what do you want to know, and how would you like to communicate about this?” Like my dad said, some families, if they have preexisting family meetings, then that makes sense to have a weekly get-together and just kind of touch base and talk about what’s going on. Some teens might want to communicate through text, or email or whatever: Find out how your teen wants to communicate, and how much they want to know, and then you can adjust as needed.

Marc: It’s hard for a teen sometimes to confront a parent and say, “You’re not telling me enough.” A parent could say, like, a day later, “Hey, what I told you yesterday about dad’s surgery or mom’s chemotherapy, was that helpful? Was it too much information? Was it not enough information?” Ask follow-up questions and get a sense of what your kid needs from you.

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He may be regarded as one of the finest exponents of the English language, but there was a darker side to William Shakespeare, according to new research.

He was a tax dodger and was threatened with jail for hoarding crops during a severe shortage, according to academics at the University of Aberystwyth in Wales.

He was also accused of profiteering by selling hoarded food to neighbors at inflated prices during crop failures.

Lead researcher Dr. Jane Archer said that for a 15-year period Shakespeare bought and hoarded grain, malt and barley, and sold them for inflated profits during times of shortage.

The research found that Shakespeare “pursued those who could not (or would not) pay him in full for these staples and used the profits to further his own money-lending activities.”

Dr Archer said food shortages were a regular aspect of Shakespeare’s times and that was reflected in his work. She cited passages from Coriolanus, written at the height of English food riots in 1607, and features a famine exploited by rich food merchants and politicians.

And in King Lear the role of crop growing and food supplies were central to the politics of the play, she added.

The new findings are to be presented at a major UK literary festival in May.

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Despite official denials of their existence, North Korea’s political prison camps have been in operation for six decades, long enough for generations to have been born and raised within their electrified fences. In all that time, no one born inside the camps had ever escaped — until Shin Dong-hyuk crawled over the body of a dead companion and though a hole in the fence in 2005.

Veteran foreign correspondent Blaine Harden told Shin’s story on the front page of the Washington Post in 2008, hoping his harrowing tale would alert American readers largely ignorant of the camps’ existence. “Shin’s story is so powerful and has so many cinematic elements to it that it’s very effective in catching people’s interest,” Harden says. “It became clear that his story was a way of reaching people who don’t normally pay attention to foreign affairs or to North Korea.”

That initial article grew into the bestselling book “Escape From Camp 14,” which recounts Shin’s life of forced labor and abuse at the hands of camp guards and his own family. It wasn’t until they’d met more than a dozen times that Shin was able to reveal his deepest secret, however: his complicity in the execution of his mother and brother.

Following that confession, Harden was forced to examine Shin’s story in a new light. “As I thought it through,” he says, “it increased his credibility from my point of view. There was no reason for him to tell this story that made him look so bad. And there’s the evidence of the scars on his body, which are not faint etchings that you need a microscope to see; they’re overwhelming, ghastly disfigurements of his body.”

Ideally, Harden says, accounts like those in his book will increase international pressure on North Korea to close the camps, which recent satellite imagery suggests are expanding. “I’m not optimistic that the camps are going to disappear anytime soon,” he admits. “But knowledge is better than ignorance, and Shin feels like all the misery that he went through and all the guilt that he carried has not been for nothing.”

If you go:

Blaine Harden

Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.
Philadelphia Central Library
1901 Vine St.
Free, 215-567-4341
www.freelibrary.org

Wednesday, 6 p.m.
United Nations Association of New York
Institute of International Education
809 United Nations Plaza, Kaufman Center
$15, 212-907-1353
www.unanyc.org

The post Shin Dong-hyuk: Born into a North Korean prison camp appeared first on Metro.us.

Julia Sweeney’s newest memoir tackles motherhood. Credit: Lauren Topel

Julia Sweeney titled her new memoir after a pillow embroidered with “If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother” given to her by her mom that Sweeney hated until she had a daughter — who now dislikes the pillow herself. The former star of Saturday Night Live (“It’s Pat!”) and Broadway (“God Said ‘Ha!’”) writes about her long path to a nontraditional family with insight and warmth. Also, refreshingly candid humor: She received her adopted child, Mulan, in China, from a man who entered a crowded ballroom, holding the baby aloft in the air, while a Muzak version of Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” played from a boom box.

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You write about investigating your genealogy. How has adopting a child affected your thoughts about it?
People have this idea that in the sea of 7 billion humans, our lineage has a special line from Africa to us. But I’ve been in conferences about it and they say, “In this room of 300 people, if you go back five generations, you’ll have one person in common with all of you.” You’re related to everyone. It’s terribly meaningful. And also completely meaningless. When I adopted Mulan, I felt like I had to not care about my family history. But then I realized, I do care. I just took my niece and nephew to the cemetery, and I said, “So, this is your great-grandfather.” Mulan added, “And my great-grandfather.” I felt bad, because I’d been talking more to them. So I replied, “Yes!” But then I thought, Is it? It’s a gray area.

How does Mulan feel about being in your book?
Right now she likes it, but if we butt heads, she’ll say, “And I will resent you for the rest of my days because you wrote that book.” I just say, “I’m sorry. I know. But when you’re older, you’ll appreciate it.”

The post Julia Sweeney on her new memoir on motherhood, ‘If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother’ appeared first on Metro.us.

In the gripping memoir “Her,” Christa Parravani describes what it was like to grow up alongside – then lose to a drug overdose – her identical twin. And she begins with a startling statistic: after a twin dies, the surviving twin’s life is immediately at risk. The hauntingly honest tale of Parravani’s destruction details why.

Beginning with memories of her sister and their single mother, their lives are all later forever changed when her sister, Cara, who used to call Christa “her,” is brutally raped while walking her dog. For the first time, Christa can no longer share in her twin’s experience. She is unflinchingly honest as she works through the aftermath, even wishing to be attacked to be able to better understand the unraveling of her sister, who masks her pain through drugs, eventually turning to heroin.

When her sister dies, Christa is haunted by seeing her daily when she looks in the mirror, and even when she hallucinates. In her attempts to understand her sister’s spiraling (which starts by eating one of her pills, found wedged in a crack on the kitchen floor) she follows in her footsteps, losing her marriage and nearly her life.

She told Metro about using the book as a way to crawl out of that space – to pen the memoir, she incorporated some of her sister’s writings, found under her bed in a Tupperware container.

Was it strange to try and explain having a twin, something that has always been familiar to you but that most others cannot understand?

It was a challenge for me. Being a twin, it isn’t an unusual experience, but for everyone else, it’s completely unusual. What I needed to do was figure out what normal might feel like and go from there, and try to jump off and explain what that closeness was like. … I decided the best way to do that was to tell the story of our love for each other.

How did you decide when to use Cara’s writings?

When something would get really difficult for me, it felt too emotional or I’d gotten to a place where I felt like I couldn’t go on because I was exhausted, I was sad or I just kind of plain missed her, I thought, here’s the moment to allow Cara into the book. In the beginning of writing, she was appearing a lot. As time went on and I got more confident in my abilities as a writer and I got further from the grief, I found I needed to rely on her less and less.

Did you make a decision to be so unflinchingly honest? Was this part of the healing process for you? It seems like you held nothing back.

I wrote the book as if no one would ever read it. It was sort of a love letter to my sister. It was a way to tell her that I loved her and not to be forgotten. I was writing to her, and I had never imagined that there would be people reading it. In order to write a book that tells truths that are necessary, you have to forget about embarrassing yourself.

Do you ultimately feel you understood your sister any better because of going through much of what she did?

I hope so. This book allowed me to have this honest relationship with my sister that the rape had not allowed us to have in life. I saw her beauty, as far as her kindness. Cara was boundlessly kind. It was hard for me to be able to understand that when she was alive, because she was unraveling so quickly. … Through my breakdown and the grief I endured losing her, I missed her so much that I really found myself turning into the kind of woman that she was. I think that what happened to me is that the closer I came to my sister through writing this book, the farther I was from her in my real life. I was able to shed those qualities through writing. I think I realized at the end of this process that my sister was saving me, even though she wasn’t here any more.

Follow Alison Bowen on Twitter @reporteralison.

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