Miley Cyrus masturbates in sexy teaser from upcoming ‘Adore You’ video

Ok, so everyone has seen this clip that’s going around from Miley’s new music video for her song “Adore You,” right?

If you haven’t, because, I guess, you don’t have a Google alert set up for “Miley Cyrus” like I do, here’s the relevant info:

The teaser, which Miley posted to her Instagram over the weekend, features grainy, sex tape-esque footage of Miley, er, pleasuring herself.

I guess we now have the answer to the age-old question “where does one in eternal pursuit of shock value and press go after humping a foam finger while practically naked onstage?” One goes to fingering oneself on camera.

But, OK, here’s the thing. Anyone who has read my column in this publication knows that I’m a hardcore Miley apologist. I think she’s awesome and, despite her annoying penchant for tongue-wagging, super talented! (“We Can’t Stop” was the undisputed, number one jam of the year, and maybe my life.) So, what I’m going to say next shouldn’t come as a huge surprise.

I don’t hate this. Miley Cyrus is a next-level entertainer and whoever is handling her PR right now deserves a big, fat holiday bonus. MyCy (I’m still totally going with this, and don’t understand why nobody else has picked this up) was the most-Googled person of the year, which is pretty damn impressive considering where she started.

Also, I’m sure there’s an opportunity for a think piece on female empowerment and sexual freedom, etc, etc here. I’m not going to write it, I’m just saying there’s a window.


Mets mascot Mr. Met target of Bill Clinton…

Mets mascot Mr. Met has told how he ended up in the crosshairs of a Secret Service sniper rifle. The man behind the Mr. Met…


Jews in eastern Ukraine ordered to register, Kerry…

Secretary of State John Kerry condemned reports that Jews in eastern Ukraine had been ordered to register with the authorities "or suffer the consequences."


Chelsea Clinton pregnant with first child

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with her first child.


Divers struggle in search for South Korean ferry…

By Jungmin Jang and Narae KimMOKPO/JINDO, South Korea (Reuters) - Rescuers struggled with strong waves and murky waters on Thursday as they searched for hundreds…


Dick Wolf to bring fictionalized world of 'Law…

A&E has ordered a pilot called "D.O.A." from "Law and Order" mastermind Dick Wolf that will focus on real detectives reexamining cold cases. A trio…


Review: 'Transcendence' is not stupid but sometimes lacks…

The cyberthriller "Transcendence" explores artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and other ethical quandaries, but has too much ambition, if anything.


Shane West talks WGN America's 'Salem'

The actor on history lessons, a new network and showing his butt.


Both feet on the ground with Aimee Mann…

What began with a cool double-bill of Ted Leo opening for Aimee Mann morphed into a full-fledged collaborative project that they're calling The Both. “There…


MLB video highlights: Red Sox score two in…

Lester shines in Red Sox win over White Sox


2014 Boston Marathon preview: Elite American, International runners…

2014 Boston Marathon: Elite American, International runners to watch


2014 NBA Finals odds: Ranking which playoff teams…

2014 NBA Finals odds: Ranking which playoff teams have the best shot at a championship. The Thunder, Clippers, Heat and Rockets lead the way.


2014 Patriots, full NFL schedule release date announced

2014 Patriots, full NFL schedule release date announced


Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.


Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.


Earth Day travel in the Florida Keys

See why this eco-friendly destination deserves your attention.


Sorry, Facebook — FarmVille goes mobile with 'Country…

Zynga has released a version of the hit "FarmVille" tailored for smartphones and tablets in the hope of reaping a bumper crop of players.