The Word: What’s going on at ‘The View’?

ABC's "The View" - Season 16

I often mistake “The View” for “The Chew,” and sometimes even “The Talk,” but regardless, I was a bit surprised when Joy Behar announced her resignation from the ABC morning show last week — homegirl’s been there since the beginning. And then, like your little sister who just couldn’t stand it when you got all the attention, Elisabeth Hassel-a-hack came out and was like, “Oh yeah? Well I’m leaving too! Hmph!” In the corner, Joy Behar cried out “No fair!” to no one in particular. But it was too late. Our interest had been piqued. No longer was this a story about replacing Behar, a middle-aged woman whose voice reminds me of Gilbert Gottfried on a good day. No, now, it’s about beautiful, blonde, conservative Elisabeth, too. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
So who should fill each lady’s seat at the table? For Elisabeth, I nominate Ann Coulter: A healthy dose of conservative energy draped in a long blonde wig. For Behar, how about a cockatoo? It would probably be just as entertaining, and the hairstylist would still get to keep his job.

Don’t worry about Rainbow Aurora, OK?
For anyone who wanted to burrow a hole in the ground and stay there forever upon hearing that Playboy bunny Holly Madison had named her first child, born Tuesday, Rainbow Aurora, fear not! The new mom has taken to her blog to defend her daughter’s shiny new moniker. “I’m not worried about my daughter being ‘traumatized’ by having an unusual name,” she writes, because the name was inspired by a former classmate of hers, who “was a perfectly normal, well-adjusted, sporty girl.”
This is coming from a woman who thought it would be a good idea to have sex with Hugh Hefner, so clearly her head is in the right place. We know pregnancy brain makes you sometimes lose things, but we didn’t think sanity was one of them.

TALKING POINTS

SJP’s toe woes
Sarah Jessica Parker has suffered plenty for fashion — and she has the doctor’s bills to prove it. The “Sex and the City” star, known for wearing pricey sky-high heels, claims going more down-market for footwear ruined her feet. “I did ‘I Don’t Know How She Does It’ and I was very thoughtful about my whole wardrobe and said, you know [my character] could not afford really good shoes, she would go to Nine West or Aldo,” she tells Net-A-Porter. “So I got shoes from there and the bottom of the shoes aren’t leather, they are plastic, so I slipped a couple times, twisted my ankle. I went to a foot doctor and he said, ‘Your foot does things it shouldn’t be able to do. That bone there… you’ve created that bone. It doesn’t belong there. It’s sad because my feet took me all over the world, but eventually they were like, ‘You know what? We are really tired. Can you just stop? And don’t put cheap shoes on us.’”

Affleck’s marriage fine, thanks for asking
While OK! Magazine claims the stress of awards season may be causing tension between Ben Affleck and wife Jennifer Garner, the “Argo” director says like post-Oscars has been a great time for them. “I’ve been able to really just enjoy my good fortune in the last couple of weeks and sit back and kind of just take it in and not do anything, just eat ice cream on the couch,” Affleck says, according to E! News. “It’s been a really nice time to hang out with my wife and that sort of thing, so we’re just enjoying it.”

Price check: Hewitt’s boobs
Jennifer Love Hewitt can apparently put a price on her breasts, at least when it comes to the idea of insuring them as valuable assets. “I need, like, an insurance invitation. If somebody was like, Hey, you know what? We would like to insure your boobs for $2.5 million,’ I’d be like, do it. Love it! Why not?” she tells USA Today. “These things right here are worth $5 million.”

Does this mean old Rose won’t be there either?
When the Titanic II, an exact replica of the famous doomed ship, sets sail on the Titanic’s original route in 2016, don’t expect to see Billy Zane or his family on board. “I’m not sure that I’d care to risk it. I’m sure I’ll get an invitation, though,” the “Titanic” star tells People magazine. “I don’t know if people would really want me on board.”

————————————————————————————————————

DAILY TWITTER UPDATE: March 12, 2013

Checking in with some of Hollywood’s biggest names to see what they’ve been up to — in their own words, in 140 characters or fewer.

Today, Jonah Hill is thinking about the future, Emma Bunton is mystified, Marlon Wayans is hitting the road and Albert Brooks thinks his neighbor is pretty influential.

@JonahHill
In 50 yrs, a bunch of 80 yr-olds will know all the words to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song.

@EmmaBunton
Why are pirates called pirates????

@MARLONLWAYANS
I’m thinking of touring BRAZIL ARGENTINA and URUGUAY end of the year

@AlbertBrooks
My neighbor is using his fireplace or he just elected the pope.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Brooklyn man charged in roommate's stabbing death

A Brooklyn man accused of violently stabbing his roommate to death on Monday is in police custody and faces murder charges.

International

Dinosaurs could have survived asteroid strike

It turns out there is a good and a bad time for the planet to be hit by a meteor, and dinosaurs were just unlucky.…

National

OkCupid admits to Facebook-style experimenting on customers

By Sarah McBrideSAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - OkCupid, a top U.S. matchmaking website, intentionally mismatched users to test its technology, the IAC/InterActive Corp service said on…

Local

MTA fares still increasing 4 percent in newly…

The agency said the 4 percent increases, previously announced in December, will remain steady even as the MTA deals with increasing labor costs.

Movies

Interview: Brendan Gleeson on the way 'Calvary' depicts…

Brendan Gleeson talks about how his new film "Calvary" began over drinks and how his character here is the opposite of the lead in "The Guard."

Movies

'Get on Up' producer Mick Jagger on the…

Mick Jagger, a producer on the James Brown biopic "Get on Up," talks about the time had to tell the singer some bad news and his favorite JB record.

Television

'Glee' star Lea Michele to appear on 'Sons…

"Glee" star Lea Michele has been confirmed as a guest star in the final season of "Sons of Anarchy."

Television

TV watch list, Monday, July 28: 'The Bachelorette'…

See Andi Dorfman make her big choice on tonight's 'Bachelorette' finale.

NFL

Larry Donnell has inside track in Giants tight…

Little-known Larry Donnell of Grambling State currently has the inside track, as the second-year player has received the bulk of the first-team reps.

NFL

Computer to Jets: Start Michael Vick over Geno…

Jets general manager John Idzik says the choice of who starts between second-year quarterback Geno Smith and veteran Michael Vick will be a “Jets decision.”

MLB

Yankees looking to trade for Josh Willingham: Report

CBS Sports’ Jon Heyman reported Sunday the Yankees are interested in Twins outfielder Josh Willingham.

MLB

Joe Torre: I'm in Hall of Fame because…

Joe Torre spent 18 years putting together a near Hall of Fame career as a player. But it was the 12 years he spent as…

Travel

Glasgow: Hey, hey, the gangs aren't here

This European city has done a good job getting rid of its more violent residents and revitalizing with artists.

Education

Babson College tops list of best colleges for…

Money magazine has just released its inaugural list of "The Best Colleges for Your Money" -- and the answers have surprised many. Babson College, which…

Education

NYC teens learn how to develop apps during…

Through a program sponsored by CampInteractive, the high schoolers designed their own community-focused apps.

Tech

The Ministry of Silly Walks app is both…

Monty Python have dug into their back catalogue for cash-ins once more, but with the Ministry of Silly Walks app, they've made something that's fun too.