<![CDATA[Wellbeing news from metro.us/boston]]> en-us <![CDATA[How to overcome your need to fit in]]> The question: I feel like I'm never myself in social situations. It is almost like I'm a chameleon and I just try to blend in with everyone else. I'm not sure exactly why I'm like this. Do you have any insight into this and tips?

My guess is that you get anxious in social situations because you fear how people might respond. Perhaps you're afraid of rejection or judgment and you adapt by trying to be like others. Though it may make sense on one level, you're missing out on being you, while others miss out on seeing who you truly are. Follow this exercise taken from my book, "BE FEARLESS: Change Your Life in 28 Days."

1. Before you can be yourself you must know who you are: for example, what you stand for and what makes you tick. Know where you come from and where you're going. How would you describe yourself if someone asked? Be able to give such a description with ease and confidence. Make a list of your convictions, beliefs, passions, values and strengths.

2. Understand the role that hiding behind a mask plays in your life. Are you shy, anxious or unsure? Do you feel inadequate? Or perhaps you are afraid to shine or dislike attention. If so, seek help to address any underlying issues.

3. Practice expressing yourself by writing out your thoughts and feelings, including how you feel about yourself, situations you might experience on a daily basis and people you might encounter during the day. Learn to express yourself clearly.

4. Don't care so much about how others perceive you. The more you do, the more you are trying to fulfill their expectations and not your own.   

5. Do away with social comparisons. They only lead to resentment and move you away from being who you truly are.

6. Finally, practice opening up to people you trust by starting a conversation, talking about your day and how you feel. Be honest and forthright when expressing yourself.

- Jonathan Alpert is a licensed psychotherapist. His new book, "BE FEARLESS: Change Your Life
in 28 Days," is available at major booksellers and Amazon. Follow him online at www.jonathanalpert.com, on Facebook (www.facebook.com/jonathanalpert) and on Twitter @jonathanalpert.  

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages. ]]> http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143561--how-to-overcome-your-need-to-fit-in Sun, 20 May 2012 16:37:03 -0400 NEW YORK http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143561--how-to-overcome-your-need-to-fit-in <![CDATA[How to quit making excuses so you can take charge of your life]]>
"People make excuses like, 'I don't have an iron will' or 'It's not in my DNA,' says Vaden, the author of "Take the Stairs: 7 Steps to Achieving True Success."

Self-discipline isn't the problem. "Procrastination is the problem. Self-discipline is the remedy," he says. "It's really not that difficult -- but there are no shortcuts."

Shortcut thinking is what gets people into trouble in the first place, which was the thinking behind Vaden's book title.

"Do we take the stairs, or the elevator? Easy, short-term choices lead to difficult long-term solutions," he says. "Problems that are procrastinated only amplify. A good example is a health problem. If you ignore it, it compounds until you're so out of shape it seems hopeless. It's the same with relationships: Any conflict that's ignored builds until everything explodes."

His three types of procrastination
   
Classic: constantly delaying what we should be doing
Creative avoidance: filling the day with menial work and avoiding the important things
Priority dilution: allowing distractions and interruptions to take priority over important tasks

Get it done

To strengthen your self-discipline muscle, Vaden suggests arming yourself with the following:

Relentless determination:  "Every single day, put two things on your to-do list and do them. Until you accomplish those two things, everything is a distraction."
 
Inspiration: "People become disengaged because they are uninspired. It's not a lack of work ethic; it's a lack of vision. If you have a vision of what you want, it's context for making a short-term sacrifice." ]]> http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143554--how-to-quit-making-excuses-so-you-can-take-charge-of-your-life Sun, 20 May 2012 15:48:02 -0400 LINDA LABAN, BOSTON http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143554--how-to-quit-making-excuses-so-you-can-take-charge-of-your-life <![CDATA[A Study Has Found: Researcher who backed homosexual 'cure' apologizes to gay community]]>
Dr. Robert Spitzer, once praised for his role in eliminating homosexuality from the manual as a mental disorder, later went on to study and advocate reparative therapy as a "cure" for homosexuality in the 1990s. His work was widely attacked and criticized. Now at age 80, Spitzer is offering an apology, according to The New York Times.

Spitzer was prompted to make amends with the gay community following an interview with a gay journalist who told the aging doctor that he had been a patient of reparative therapy at a young age and it evoked thoughts of suicide.

The doctor drafted a letter, which has been posted online. In it, he wrote, "I believe I owe the gay community an apology for my study making unproven claims of the efficacy of reparative therapy."

He went on to discredit his own research by revealing that he never had the credible evidence to say reparative therapy was successful.

"I offered several (unconvincing) reasons why it was reasonable to assume that the subject’s reports of change were credible and not self-deception or outright lying. But the simple fact is that there was no way to determine if the subject’s accounts of change were valid," Spitzer wrote.

We guess an apology is better late than never, right?

More adventures in psuedoscience:


  • Depressed people often don't have the urge to get out and do much, but they will chat online, even more than people who aren't depressed.
  • Have a sweet tooth? It could make you an idiot, science says.
  • In turtle news, the species have come along way as scientists have discovered they were once as large as a small car.

]]> http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143514--a-study-has-found-researcher-who-backed-homosexual-cure-apologizes-to-gay-community Fri, 18 May 2012 14:09:51 -0400 CASSANDRA GARRISON, CASSANDRA GARRISON http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143514--a-study-has-found-researcher-who-backed-homosexual-cure-apologizes-to-gay-community <![CDATA[A Study Has Found: Are men who eat meat manlier than vegetarians?]]>
A study conducted by researchers from several top U.S. universities and published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that people tend to associate meat-eating with manliness. This could be an explanation for why more women than men gravitate toward vegetarianism.

During the experiments, participants were surveyed on metaphors involving certain foods like meat and milk. Researchers found that participants viewed meat to be more masculine than vegetables. When people discussed meat, it tended to prompt them to use more masculine words.

Overall, the study found that participants viewed meat-eating men, especially those who eat muscle meat like steak, to be manlier than their vegetarian counterparts.

This association goes beyond psychology, though. Even linguistics give off the impression that meat is manly. Researchers studied 23 languages and found that most of them used a masculine pronoun for the word "meat."

"To the strong, traditional, macho, bicep-flexing, All-American male, red meat is a strong, traditional, macho, bicep-flexing, All-American food," the authors wrote. "Soy is not. To eat it, they would have to give up a food they saw as strong and powerful like themselves for a food they saw as weak and wimpy."

Guess the expression "you are what you eat" really rings true... at least in the eyes of society.

More fun psuedoscience:


  • You may be manlier if you eat meat, but you'll live longer if you drink coffee.
  • So get your fill on red meat and caffeine, but a study found that less young Americans are indulging in tobacco.
  • But if you like smoking a different kind of substance, you might identify with this group's message than weed is safer than alcohol.
]]> http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143379--a-study-has-found-are-men-who-eat-meat-manlier-than-vegetarians Thu, 17 May 2012 13:24:28 -0400 CASSANDRA GARRISON, CASSANDRA GARRISON http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143379--a-study-has-found-are-men-who-eat-meat-manlier-than-vegetarians <![CDATA[This is why you're not married]]>
But before you get up in arms over these accusations, know that what she means isn't as harsh as those pronouncements sound. For example, by saying "you're not good enough" McMilllian explains that it's a woman's negative attitude about herself that allows her to accept poor treatment from men. She adds that, "A lot of people go looking for in a partner something that they don't even realize that they believe is missing in themselves."

But the extreme nature of the bullet points of McMillan's message did make her original Huffington Post essay, "Why You're Not Married" set the record number of page views for the site since it was posted in February 2011. McMillan's straight talk about how women can sabotage their own relationships is the kind of sage wisdom most dating books avoid.

"Finding someone that you are going to love one day at a time for the rest of your life isn't something you can hunt down and kill," McMillan says. "You need to operate in the part that's kind of beyond what you can control. What that means to me is that he may not look like what he's supposed to look like or have the job you think he's supposed to have. What you need could be very different from what you think you want, and I feel like a lot of dating advice books don't speak to that."

McMillan explains that love is work -- "the ultimate yoga" -- and that it's about examining our own behaviors before blaming the dating market.

"It's not easy to love another person because we're all really flawed, but I think if you can learn how to love yourself with your own flaws and work at making yourself better. You can also love another person and create a space for them to make themselves better," she says.

Where does McMillan get all this great advice from? Being married three times. She freely admits that she's made every mistake in the book, but all that experience has sharpened her sensibilities when it comes to dating.

"Oftentimes I'll be talking to someone who wants to be in a long-term relationship but can't figure out why she doesn't have one. And I can see it," she says. "It's because she seems angry or she's not nice or because she's dating guys who aren't willing to be in a relationship with her. I know a handful of women who can have casual sex, but that's a handful. The rest of us, we're so hung up on that guy six months later."

Buy the book
   
"Why You're Not Married ... Yet" will be released on May 29th. Reserve a copy now! ]]> http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143300--this-is-why-you-re-not-married Wed, 16 May 2012 17:14:09 -0400 HEIDI PATALANO, NEW YORK http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143300--this-is-why-you-re-not-married <![CDATA[Science proves Twitter is equal to sex]]>
"I hate button up shirts with hoodies," West tweeted.

"I hate hoodies with sports coats," he added.

"I hate sports coats with button up shirts, jeans and dress shoes," he stated.

This isn't the first time West has let people know exactly what he was thinking, including the day when he provided, in excruciating detail, his decision to buy a bike.

West's and other celebrities' propensity to share intimate details of their personal lives online might be rooted in science. A new study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences shows that people who talk about themselves had similar brain reactions to those who engaged in eating or sex. People were even willing to give up money in order to keep talking about themselves.

In other words: Boasting about our everyday lives gives us as much pleasure as doing "primary awards" or basic needs activities.

 "The thousands and thousands of responses, the degree of intensity to that person, it must be very confirming of their importance. It pushes people to want to get that kind of feedback and notoriety," Dr. Phil Muskin, chief of consultation-liaison psychiatry at Columbia Psychiatry in New York, told Metro World News.

Dr. David Rubin, a psychiatrist at NY-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell and Columbia believes it's not just a new media problem that makes it seem that celebrities -- and many of us --  share too much of themselves online.

Even in our day-to-day lives, we are aware of people who overshare information about themselves. Twitter, Facebook and blogs are simply a new medium to do it in -- and it's much easier since you don't have to do it face-to-face. According to the PNAS study, four out of five postings on social media sites are about a person's immediate experiences.

Freedom from restraint


"It gives people freedom from the restraints of social etiquette, professionalism and the freedom from reactions, letting them divulge more," Rubin said. "[Fans] can play the role of the friend. ... People are gathered together to read the mundane aspects of one of their 'friend's' lives. It takes it up a notch and creates some pseudo-connection."
   
"It also helps that by tweeting a statement, there's no immediate negative feedback. That doesn't mean one doesn't eventually have to face consequences. But, because there's no instantaneous chastisement for posting something that isn't politically correct, the poster feels like anything they feel like saying they should say," Muskin said.
   
So, those of us who tweet about ourselves don't necessarily have big egos. They may just enjoy the simple pleasures of life more than most of us.
]]> http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143297--science-proves-twitter-is-equal-to-sex Wed, 16 May 2012 17:05:21 -0400 MICHELLE CASTILLO, METRO WORLD NEWS http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143297--science-proves-twitter-is-equal-to-sex <![CDATA[A Study Has Found: By looking at your face, people know if you're gay or straight]]>
According to a study published in the online Public Library of Science, researchers from the University of Washington found that people can tell whether someone is gay or straight in the blink of an eye.

The same way you build a first impression the moment you meet someone, the study found you immediately know someone's sexuality.

The study consisted of 129 people who were shown 96 black-and-white photos of gay and straight men and women. They were shown the image for less than a second. The photos were cropped so that hairstyles were not visible. Researchers did not use photos of people with glasses, make up, or facial hair in an attempt to prevent "easy cues." The researchers then asked the participants to guess the sexuality of the person in the photograph.

The study shows that people are better at judging a woman's sexuality at first glance. In two-thirds of the cases, participants were able to determine a woman's sexuality, and in 57% of cases, they accurately guessed a man's.

Only 129 people participated in the "gaydar" test, so Joshua Tabak, a psychology student at the University of Washington, told the Daily Mail that there was "always a small number of people with no ability do distinguish gay and straight faces."

If knowing whether someone is gay or straight is as easy as ABC, are we not allowed to act surprised next time someone we know comes out? ]]> http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143284--a-study-has-found-by-looking-at-your-face-people-know-if-you-re-gay-or-straight Wed, 16 May 2012 15:53:41 -0400 MARY ANN GEORGANTOPOULOS, NEW YORK http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143284--a-study-has-found-by-looking-at-your-face-people-know-if-you-re-gay-or-straight <![CDATA[Skechers to shell out $50 million for lying to you about Shape-ups shoes]]> Reuters:

Skechers USA Inc has agreed to pay $40 million to settle charges that it made unfounded claims when it advertised that its "toning shoes" would enable users to get stronger and lose weight. Skechers will pay an additional $5 million to 43 states and the District of Columbia and another $5 million to class action attorneys, the Manhattan Beach, California, company said in a statement.

The Federal Trade Commission said on Wednesday the shoe maker was deceptive in the marketing of its Shape-ups, Resistance Runner, Toners and Tone-ups shoes.

The settlement with Skechers follows a September 2011 settlement with Reebok International Ltd in which it agreed to pay $25 million to resolve similar charges. Reebok is owned by Adidas.

In both cases, the money will go largely toward consumer refunds.

Toning shoes are designed to be slightly unstable, and manufacturers say the instability requires the wearer to work harder, thus strengthening muscles.

"Skechers' unfounded claims went beyond stronger and more toned muscles. The company even made claims about weight loss and cardiovascular health," said David Vladeck, director of the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection.

The Federal Trade Commission has an illuminating roundup of the various fudges and obfuscations Skechers indulged in while peddling their toning shoes to the public:

  • A Shape-ups ad telling consumers to "Shape Up While You Walk," and "Get in Shape without Setting Foot in a Gym," and claiming that the shoes are designed to promote weight loss and tone muscles. The FTC alleges that Skechers made unsupported claims that Shape-ups would provide more weight loss, and more muscle toning and strengthening than regular fitness shoes.

  • Shape-ups ads with an endorsement from a chiropractor named Dr. Steven Gautreau, who recommended the product based on the results of an “independent” clinical study he conducted that tested the shoes’ benefits compared to those provided by regular fitness shoes. The FTC alleges that this study did not produce the results claimed in the ad, that Skechers failed to disclose that Dr. Gautreau is married to a Skechers marketing executive, and that Skechers paid Dr. Gautreau to conduct the study.

  • Shape-ups ads featuring celebrities including Kim Kardashian and Brooke Burke. Airing during the 2011 Super Bowl, the Kardashian ad showed her dumping her personal trainer for a pair of Shape-ups. The Burke ad told consumers that the newest way to burn calories and tone and strengthen muscles was to tie their Shape-ups shoe laces.

  • An ad that claims consumers who wear Resistance Runner shoes will increase "muscle activation" by up to 85 percent for posture-related muscles, 71 percent for one of the muscles in the buttocks, and 68 percent for calf muscles, compared to wearing regular running shoes. The FTC alleges that in citing the study that claimed to back this up, Skechers cherry-picked results and failed to substantiate its ad claims.

As always, it's worth remembering that there are no magic wands when it comes to fitness. Diet and exercise will help you get in better shape. A new pair of shoes, generally, won't.
]]> http://www.metro.us/boston/national/article/1143266--skechers-to-shell-out-50-million-for-lying-to-you-about-shape-ups-shoes Wed, 16 May 2012 12:38:58 -0400 NATE JONES http://www.metro.us/boston/national/article/1143266--skechers-to-shell-out-50-million-for-lying-to-you-about-shape-ups-shoes <![CDATA[Headaches are a real pain]]> How do I know if my headache is a health emergency or if I’m just suffering from too much stress?

Headaches are a common source of daily pain and discomfort for millions. The most common causes include fever due to infection, tension headaches due to stress and migraines caused by changes in blood flow in the brain. Other, more ominous, causes of headaches include bleeding due to ruptured blood vessels called aneurysms, strokes or meningitis.

Tension headaches are caused by spasm or inflammation of the muscles in the scalp and neck. These headaches are typically of gradual onset, limited duration and are more annoying than disabling. Tension headaches are usually not accompanied by other systemic symptoms such as fever, weakness, numbness, blurry vision or nausea and vomiting.

Headaches due to various illnesses may be caused by a sinus or dental infection, the fever of a cold or flu or, of greater concern, meningitis. Meningitis is a viral or bacterial infection of the lining and fluid surrounding the brain and spinal cord. The headache of meningitis is usually severe, gets rapidly worse and is accompanied by fever, neck stiffness and a toxic appearance. If you suspect your headache may be due to this potentially life-threatening infection, see your doctor immediately or go to the nearest emergency room.

A migraine headache is typically accompanied by other symptoms that may include nausea, a pounding sensation in the head or an aura (warning sensation) such as vision disturbances that may precede the headache. Migraines can be triggered by factors including food sensitivities, menstrual cycle hormonal changes, alcohol and lack of sleep.

The sudden onset of the worst headache of your life should be evaluated by a physician immediately. These symptoms typically signal a ruptured aneurysm, a potentially fatal leaking artery in the brain.
Most headaches are caused by benign conditions and can be treated with over-the-counter pain medication. The new onset of a headache that is different or worse than usual for you, or accompanied by symptoms that prevent you from going about your daily life, should be evaluated by a doctor sooner rather than later.

-- Mark Melrose, DO, is a board-certified emergency physician at Urgent Care Manhattan. E-mail him your questions at askdrmark@metro.us.

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages. ]]> http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143168--headaches-are-a-real-pain Tue, 15 May 2012 18:48:08 -0400 DR. MARK MELROSE, OPINION http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143168--headaches-are-a-real-pain <![CDATA[Today in Medicine: Sports and energy drinks cause tooth erosion]]> Sports and energy drinks cause tooth erosion
Study subjects: Lab study
Location of study: U.S.
Results: New research published in General Dentistry magazine finds that sports and energy drinks cause permanent damage to tooth enamel. The high acidity levels in some of these drinks and increased use, particularly in teens and young adults, is thought to be the cause of a nationwide surge in tooth erosion.
Significance: Although energy drinks caused twice as much damage as sports drinks, researchers concluded that neither is a healthy alternative to soda. Damaged tooth enamel leaves teeth unprotected and prone to cavities and decay.

Busy roads risky for heart attack survivors


Study subjects: 3,547 heart attack survivors
Location of study: U.S.
Results: A recent study published in Circulation — the American Heart Association’s journal — finds that heart attack survivors living near a major U.S. highway had an increased risk of death from various causes. Researchers found that those patients living less than 328 feet away from a roadway increased their risk of dying over 10 years by 27 percent, compared to those who live at least 3,280 feet away.
Significance: Exposure to air pollution, noise and stress near major U.S. roads seems to contribute to declining health and increased risk of death, particularly for those who already have cardiovascular disease.

Mushroom compound helps for breast cancer


Study subjects: Mice
Location of study: U.S.
Results: Researchers at Indiana University’s Cancer Laboratory found that a blend of extracts from medicinal mushrooms, medicinal herbs and purified nutritional compounds hinders human breast cancer growth and the spread of cancer from breast to lung in mice.
Significance: Since many breast cancer patients die from metastasis, the spreading of the disease, the formula has great promise for steadying metastatic breast cancer. ]]> http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143147--today-in-medicine-sports-and-energy-drinks-cause-tooth-erosion Tue, 15 May 2012 16:36:27 -0400 LINDA CLARKE, BOSTON http://www.metro.us/boston/life/article/1143147--today-in-medicine-sports-and-energy-drinks-cause-tooth-erosion