Facebook Gold: They're not going to charge for it, idiots

Facebook Gold: They’re not going to charge for it, idiots

POST THIS IN YOUR STATUS IF YOU WANT TO BUY THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that if a bunch of people are posting the same message as their Facebook status, that message is going to be completely effing stupid.

The latest chain status making the rounds this week is the claim that the new Facebook changes are just a smoke screen for the social network’s hidden plot to start charging its users. The message, in totally-believable all-caps:

FACEBOOK JUST RELEASED THEIR PRICE GRID FOR MEMBERSHIP. $9.99 PER MONTH FOR GOLD MEMBER SERVICES, $6.99 PER MONTH FOR SILVER MEMBER SERVICES $3.99 PER MONTH FOR BRONZE MEMBER SERVICES, FREE IF YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. WHEN YOU SIGN ON TOMORROW MORNING YOU WILL BE PROMPTED FOR PAYMENT INFO…IT IS OFFICIAL IT WAS EVEN ON THE NEWS. FACEBOOK WILL START CHARGING DUE TO THE NEW PROFILE CHANGES. IF YOU COPY THIS ON YOUR WALL YOUR ICON WILL TURN BLUE AND FACEBOOK WILL BE FREE FOR YOU. PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON IF NOT YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE DELETED IF YOU DO NOT PAY

IT IS OFFICIAL. IT WAS EVEN ON THE NEWS. FACEBOOK WILL START CHARGING DUE TO THE NEW PROFILE CHANGES. IF YOU COPY THIS ON YOUR WALL YOUR ICON WILL TURN BLUE AND FACEBOOK WILL BE FREE FOR YOU. PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON, IF NOT YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE DELETED IF YOU DO NOT PAY

Individually, the people spreading these rumors are probably smart, considerate people. But collectively, jeez!

Listen, guys. First off, Facebook is not going to charge you. Now, and forever more. (Look at the log-in screen!) Their business model has proven to be very lucrative the way it is. Secondly, if they were going to charge you, why in the world would posting a chain message as your status give you a free pass? Get yourself half a clue.

We fully endorse pranking these people by changing your profile picture to this one from Reddit: