Playing the Field: MegaMillions and the power of the Unibrow

MegaMillions Mania has captivated the country. The $540 million lottery goes off Friday night, as you’ve probably noticed by scanning your friends’ Facebook statuses.

Odds of winning are one in 176 million … but, hey, it’s worth a shot. Who thought Seal could land Heidi Klum? Or Kris Humphries fake-marry Kim Kardashian?

Here’s what we would do if our numbers match those balls:

» Buy the Phillie Phanatic. We’re not just talking about the costume here, we want the whole enchilada, our own personal Phanatic to entertain us at kids’ parties, to play beer pong with and to hold us when Chase Utley’s knees fall off.

» Bye, bye Roger. NFL commish Roger Goodell makes an estimated $20 million a year and recently inked a five-year extension. We’d buy him out and take back the NFL. First move, install Snoop Dogg as head of football operations.

» Feed the needy. There is around 2 million homeless people in
the United States, depending where you get your numbers from. We would
shell out the $52 million and buy each of them a $26 hot dog. Thanks,
Rangers!

The power of the unibrow compels you

Kentucky’s Anthony Davis is the best player in the country. Hands down. Still, we were wondering if that massive streamline of hair somewhere above his eyes and below his forehead is the secret to his success, like the Bible’s Sansom and his long locks.

It’s worth exploring. If we were Louisville coach Rick Pitino, we would put a bounty on it or offer a cash reward for someone to shave it off.

By the way, if you have any great unibrow pictures or paradies, please send them to our attention via Twitter immediately @mike_greger

Luckiest high school kid in the world

We can count on one hand the number of hot teachers we had growing up. There was the kind of attractive 40-something in fourth-grade, just when we first started noticing these things. And the art teacher that we thought moonlighted as a model in high school.

Both were married. Not that they would talk to us anyway. So why couldn’t we grow up in Cincinnati?

Sarah Jones, the captain of the Bengals cheer squad, could get up to five years in prison for allegedly having sex with a student. You see, Ms. Jones is also a former high school English teacher.

We’re not advocating sex with a minor here. Never would. However, do you think the kid in question — can we call him a victim? — is crying to his therapist about this tragic event? Actually, maybe he is. Because there’s absolutely no chance he can watch Bengals games the same way ever again.

Return of the Black Mamba

Fact. Kobe Bryant will go down as the second-greatest guard to play basketball.

Fact. Kobe Bryant will always have people that hate him and criticize his every move.

Fact. Kobe Bryant doesn’t care.

Bryant, who was controversially benched last week in the guts of the game, lashed out this week against those who are counting his Lakers out. The Black Mamba called the haters challenged … “mentally challenged.” For the record, Los Angeles is the No 3 seed in the Western Conference.

“Anybody who counts us out is challenged,” Bryant told NBA.com. “They’re mentally challenged. Am I happy with how we play every single night? Of course not. But I’m content with where we are overall and where I think we can go.

“Let them doubt all they want. That’s the way it always is. People talk and doubt and criticize all the way up until you win a championship, then it’s: ‘Oh, I knew it all the time.’ That’s just how it is.”


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

International

Jews in eastern Ukraine ordered to register, Kerry…

Secretary of State John Kerry condemned reports that Jews in eastern Ukraine had been ordered to register with the authorities "or suffer the consequences."

National

Chelsea Clinton pregnant with first child

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with her first child.

National

Divers struggle in search for South Korean ferry…

By Jungmin Jang and Narae KimMOKPO/JINDO, South Korea (Reuters) - Rescuers struggled with strong waves and murky waters on Thursday as they searched for hundreds…

The Word

Kate Middleton made fun of Prince William's bald…

Kate Middleton and Prince William are in Sydney, Australia, right now, and it sounds like that brash Aussie sense of humor might be rubbing off.

The Word

Is Tom Cruise dating Laura Prepon?

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise is said to be dating Laura Prepon, star of "Orange is the New Black."

Television

'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…

Movies

Review: 'Transcendence' is not stupid but sometimes lacks…

The cyberthriller "Transcendence" explores artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and other ethical quandaries, but has too much ambition, if anything.

MLB

MLB video highlights: Red Sox score two in…

Lester shines in Red Sox win over White Sox

Sports

2014 Boston Marathon preview: Elite American, International runners…

2014 Boston Marathon: Elite American, International runners to watch

NBA

2014 NBA Finals odds: Ranking which playoff teams…

2014 NBA Finals odds: Ranking which playoff teams have the best shot at a championship. The Thunder, Clippers, Heat and Rockets lead the way.

NFL

2014 Patriots, full NFL schedule release date announced

2014 Patriots, full NFL schedule release date announced

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.

Travel

Earth Day travel in the Florida Keys

See why this eco-friendly destination deserves your attention.

Tech

Sorry, Facebook — FarmVille goes mobile with 'Country…

Zynga has released a version of the hit "FarmVille" tailored for smartphones and tablets in the hope of reaping a bumper crop of players.