Yankees, Celtics among most paranoid teams in sports and Miami fans are pathetic

That's Mike Breen on the right. That's Superfly Jimmy Snuka on the left.

Sports fans can show a great deal of paranoia at times.

For instance, over the past week Celtics fans have taken to Twitter to bash ESPN play-by-play man Mike Breen for his “favoritism” towards LeBron James.

This came to a head when Breen seemed to downplay Paul Pierce fouling out in overtime of Game 4 and nearly lost his head when LeBron earned his sixth just minutes later.

Well, here’s the thing. There IS a difference between Pierce and LeBron fouling out. The Celtics rely on four different players to get their scoring done. LeBron just happens to be the reigning MVP of the league and is one of just two big-time scoring options for Miami.

There is also this: Tommy Heinsohn was once the lead color guy for the NBA on CBS. Heinsohn happens to be the biggest homer in the history of homers. The rest of the country was not cool with having the Celtics walking, talking mascot as the main voice of the league.

Yes, yes. Breen is the Knicks play-by-play guy. But he is often critical of the franchise and, let’s be honest, the Knicks-Celtics rivalry is not exactly Yankees-Red Sox, so why would he really care?

Are Celtics fans the most paranoid in sports? They’re certainly in the discussion.

A look at the most paranoid fan bases in all of sports:
 
New York Jets fans
Paranoia scale:
9
Spygate was both the greatest and worst thing to ever happen to Jets fans. They’ll always be able to say the Patriots stole their signals from 2001-2007. But since that time, every time they lose they believe there are other forces at play.

This does not make you better, Jets fans. This makes you passive.

And bringing Tim Tebow in will not rid the AFC East of evil-doers. It also will not make Jets fans any less paranoid.

 
Dallas Cowboys fans
Paranoia scale:
7
Jerry Jones is real laugh riot. When he wins.

And in case you haven’t heard, Dallas has not done of a lot of winnin’ in nearly 20 years. After the league cracked down on Jones’ big spending ways in the uncapped year of 2010, Dallas fans cried foul that the league was out to “get Jerry.”

No, no. That’s not it. Not it at all.

All the 85,967-inch flat screen TVs in the world won’t save Dallas from years of football mismanagement in the front office.

New England Patriots
Paranoia scale:
6
The docking of draft picks and a $500,000 fine for Spygate was enough for Patriots fans to believe the league was out to get them.

Add to the mix that Tom Brady was once literally unbeatable. Now, whenever things don’t go right, Pats fans scream conspiracy.

Boston Celtics
Paranoia scale:
8
This has been going on since the Red Auerbach days, where the commish, whether it be Larry O’Brien or David Stern, is always public enemy No. 1.

Talk radio in Boston is predictably dominated by the Celtics these days. The problem is that 87 percent of the calls are regarding how the league is fixed and that Tim Donaghy still has friends (Scott Foster) in low places.

New York Yankees
Paranoia scale:
7
When you’re the most hated team in sports (or used to be, anyway), of course you’re going to be paranoid. Yankees fans constantly argue that Red Sox ownership are simply puppets placed on Yawkey Way by Bud Selig.

Well, they are puppets for sure. But at this point, Selig is too frail and incompetent to pull any strings.

Oakland Raiders
Paranoia scale:
10
When you’re the most hated team in sports (or used to be, anyway), of course you’re going to be paranoid. The paranoia may die down a bit now that Al Davis is no longer with us (Davis once barked at a reporter at a visiting stadium, “Why should I talk to you? I don’t know where you’re from. You could be from Florida! Or Afghanistan!”).

But with Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum crumbling, there is a strong push for the team to move back to Los Angeles. Moving threats are the ultimate cause for paranoia.

Los Angeles Lakers
Paranoia scale:
8
Two words: Chris. Paul.

Are the Heat the most pathetic sports franchise of recent memory?

Pat Riley wanted to bring Hollywood to the East Coast in the summer of 2010. It’s been a monumental failure so far.

Sure, you can poke fun at Lakers fans for showing up halfway through the game and showing up ‘just to be seen.’

But crowds at Staples Center are almost always ‘adult.’ They boo the Lakers when there isn’t an effort. They understand basketball. And most importantly, they would never allow a 9-year-old boy to sit in a prime seat of a Conference Final and do 9-year-old boy things.

This was the scene as the dejected Heat walked to the locker room Tuesday night after a crushing Game 5 loss to the Celtics:

To make matters worse, Dwyane Wade showed up in the postgame looking like this. So un-Kobe-like.

It is truly amateur hour these days in South Florida.


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