What should we call smartphones, now that no one actually uses them as phones?

None of these people are making calls.
via Flickr

In the past week, I’ve used my Android smartphone to make ten moves in Words with Friends, draw seven tiny pictures in Draw Something, send 33 text messages and scam on innumerable amounts of women on OKCupid.  The amount of times I’ve used it to call someone? Three.

That falls in line with the numbers of a recent study from wireless company O2, which found that making calls is actually only the fifth-most popular use for a smartphone, lagging behind “browsing the Internet” and “listening to music. The full stats:

Minutes of activity per day:

Browsing the internet: 24.81
Checking social networks: 17.49
Playing games: 14.44
Listening to music: 15.64
Making calls: 12.13
Checking/writing emails: 11.1
Text messaging: 10.2
Watching TV/films: 9.39
Reading books: 9.3
Taking photographs: 3.42
Total: 128

With that in mind, it seems increasingly antiquated to keep calling smartphones “phones,” like calling cars “horseless carriages”  or a train “the iron horse.” Clearly, they need a new name. What should we call them?

Some suggestions:

iPad minis



Waisters (bastardization of time-wasters)

Populace pacification devices




Explosions in new Boston Marathon bomb panic, 'twisted'…

A fresh Boston Marathon terror alert, which caused Bomb Squad officers to order an evacuation while two controlled explosions were carried out, was today being…


Bomb squad detonates backpacks left at Marathon finish…

The Boston Marathon finish line has been evacuated and the Copley Square T station has been closed as police investigate a suspicious package, WBZ is reporting.


Reddit boosts news capabilities in social media turf…

By Jennifer SabaNEW YORK (Reuters) - Reddit, a website with a retro-'90s look and space-alien mascot that tracks everything from online news to celebrity Q&As,…


Missouri man charged with sexually torturing five women

A Missouri man has been charged with raping and torturing five women in a St. Louis-area apartment over several years, law enforcement officials said on Tuesday.


Miley Cyrus hospitalized, cancels Kansas concert, condition unknown,…

Singer Miley Cyrus was hospitalized on Tuesday night after suffering what is believed to be 'a severe allergic reaction' to antibiotics medication. The 21-year-old Bangerz…


'Orphan Black's' Jordan Gavaris talks Felix's Season 2…

Jordan Gavaris plays heroically helpful foster sibling Felix to main clone Sarah on "Orphan Black." We talked to him about what’s ahead for him in…


TV watch list, Tuesday, April 15: 'New Girl,'…

'New Girl' Nick and Jess are hiding their breakup from the other loft residents. And Winston passes the police academy exam! That guy needed some…


'Orphan Black' is back with 'crazy clone shenanigans'

“Orphan Black” is the little show that could. It had a few things working against it: a sci-fi premise, attracting an audience who had never…


MLB video highlights: White Sox beat Red Sox…

Red Sox fall on walk-off error to White Sox


NBA Draft Lottery day is May 20: Celtics…

NBA Draft Lottery day is Tuesday, May 20: Celtics percentage odds for a top overall pick


Opinion: Major League Baseball replay system shouldn't be…

Opinion: Major League Baseball replay system shouldn't be dumped just yet


Bruins - Red Wings preview: David Krejci ready…

Bruins - Red Wings preview: David Krejci ready to erupt once again in playoffs


Steal home decorating tips from Nattystyle blogger Natalie…

Despite the towering ceilings and enviable exposed brick, it’s easy to see how Natalie Decleve’s apartment could be considered a challenge. Perched above the streets…


How to plant a garden in the city

Small on space but big on gardening? You can still have that welcoming oasis of fresh air with an urban garden. Peter Smith, owner of…


Victoria's Secret Fashion Show moving to England

It will still broadcast on CBS this fall.


Google Glass finally goes on sale for regular…

The Google Glass finally went on sale for regular people. It only costs $1,500.