Playing the Field: Freeh the Saints, Curse of Kate Upton
Is there another football bombshell about to be dropped at a news station near you?
Apparently, Louis Freeh and his nerdy band of super sleuths are reviewing the New Orleans Saints bounty scandal. While the emphasis is on the wiretapping allegations made against GM Mickey Loomis, the team is also delving into BountyGate. Rip up that lawsuit, Vilma!
Freeh and Co. dumped 267 pages of life-ruining reports on Penn State and that may have been without total access. Imagine what he can do with Roger Goodell’s help? This could get ugly for the Saints real fast. Or we’ll find out that Goodell really had nothing all along. Nothing, Roger, I’ve got nothing …
This news did get us thinking, though. If Freeh is this good, why don’t we just freelance his investigative services for everything. If given enough time, could the former FBI director find out how that ball slipped under Bill Buckner’s glove? Could he uncover the truth behind LeBron James’ rapidly receding hairline? The Immaculate Reception? Or, most importantly, what is the San Diego Chicken up to these days?
The Curse of Kate Upton
The internet stopped and thousands of mens dropped their beers (and tossed their Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues) in unison this week, when news broke that Kate Upton might be off the market.
Upton was spotted in a private suite at a recent Detroit Tigers game. The 20-year-old may have been drinking a beer (her people deny it). The important part of the story is that the suite belonged to Tigers ace Justin Verlander. The two have reportedly been seen hanging all around Detroit, including an Aerosmith concert.
Good for Verlander. He is possibly dating one of the hottest women on the planet, so don’t hate. Pat him on the backside and tell him you need a complete game. We didn’t mean that to be sexual in any way … or did we?
No, that’s not the problem. The problem is that Verlander may be suffering some kind of voodoo, not unlike the chaos Jessica Simpson brought into Tony Romo’s life. In his first start — in the All-Star Game, no less — since the rumors started swirling, Verlander was rocked for five runs in one inning.
The coupling has inspired a whole series of tweets from worried Tigers fans. Personally, we’d trade a few bad outings for a few good … sorry, we just got edited.