Playing the Field: Football is King … Ana Ivanovic should be Queen
Sometimes, not often, but sometimes — usually with foreigners and clueless soccer fans we find at the bar — we found ourselves debating just how important football is to the fabric of America.
Football, more aptly the NFL, is what we watch. In the offseason, we might flirt with a baseball game, maybe some college hoops or perhaps an episode of “Modern Family.” (Bring on Sofia Vergara, accent and all) … but football is king. We always thought it was indisputable. Now, the folks at Sports Media Watch have proved it.
They have compiled their annual list of the 50 most-viewed sporting events of 2012. Not surprisingly, the first 14 are all football games, 13 of those are NFL games, and the Super Bowl leads the parade with a U.S. record 111.346 million viewers.
Just as a side note, for those that think people still watch golf now that Tiger Woods has morphed into a celibate, shell of himself. The Masters, golf’s marquee event ranks No. 28, which puts it behind NASCAR’s Daytona 500 and the Kentucky Derby.
Point is, it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that pigskin.
TO being misportrayed … again?
Man, we hate to keep hitting a man when he’s down but how much worse can it get for Terrell Owens? The guy who once owned the entire sports world — or at least the city of Philadelphia — is reportedly facing jail time after missing child payments.
Owens’ baby mama is alleging that the former NFL diva hasn’t made payments in months and owes her $20,000. He also missed a hearing which angered the judge in the case. It has been re-scheduled for Thursday.
Let’s recap Owens’ calendar year: In October, he organized a personal workout to show NFL teams what he had left. No one, not a single NFL scout, showed up. In January, Owens signed on to play with the Allen Wranglers, of the Indoor Football League (that’s a peg below the Arena Football League), then the team cut him in May for skipping charity events. In May, he appeared on an awkward, 60-minute therapy session with Dr. Phil, where he argued with three former lovers, was re-united with two children he had neglected and told everyone that his “character had been misportrayed.”
Sure, TO, sure. We once dreamed of watching a reality show featuring Owens and another loveable has-been named Allen Iverson. However, that show now seems like it would be more depressing than spending a night with pop singer Adele.
Quick exchange from that potential date ….
Adele: “She ain’t going to be able to love you like I will.”
Adele: “She ain’t real.”
Us: “Who are you talking about?
Adele: “Rumor has it, rumor has it, rumor has it …”
Us: “Stop whining!”
America’s next top tennis model
Finally, our good friends at Pornhub have struck again, with one of those riveting lists of hot athletes. They recently conducted a survey of the Most Attractive Female Players at Wimbledon and — drum roll please — the winner is Maria Sharapova.
The Russian looker grabbed 54 percent of the vote, beating Wimbledon champion Serena Williams by almost 40 percent (she got 18 percent). Caroline Wozniacki, who counts pro golfer Rory McIlroy as a boy toy, came in third with 16 percent.
It’s a good list — and Pornhub knows a thing or two about sexy ladies — but we were shocked not to see Ana Ivanovic mentioned anywhere. The Serbian temptress is smoking hot and … ready, guys… she’s finally single.
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Ana recently told the Serbian press. “For now I’m single. Tennis is most important in my life right now, but in the future I plan to get married and have lots of children. That’s my wish.”
That’s our wish, too. To have lots of children with Ana Ivanovic, that is.