Playing the Field: Macho cat fight, fun with Bynum

Ding, ding, ding. This funeral is scheduled for three rounds.

File this under awesome.

We don’t often dream about funerals. It’s not normal. In fact, it’s quite morbid. However, if we did, we would want something like this to unfold …

On Tuesday, a funeral for slain boxer Hector “Macho” Camacho was held in Puerto Rico. According to reports, a shouting and scratching match broke out between the fighter’s alleged girlfriend, another woman claiming to be his girlfriend and his sisters. The woman claiming to be his actual girlfriend went up to the open casket and kissed Camacho on the mouth.

“I am the actual girlfriend of Macho, and those who don’t like it better not bring it,” she said.

Bring it on then! Seriously, how great must your life have been if you have a cat fight break out at your funeral? All celebrities/athletes (at least the ones with large libidos) should include instructions for tubs of Jell-O and inflatable kiddie pools in their will. That way their friends get one hell of a show. Oh yeah, and a keg … definitely a keg.

Won’t you be my neighbor?

Andrew Bynum has been a non-entity on the court for the Sixers. On the other hand, Bynum’s off-the-court antics have been nothing short of legendary.

Last week, it was revealed that he re-injured a balky knee in a leisurely bowling match in Philadelphia. Before that, his new hairstyle was being debated on sports blogs, via BlackSportsOnline, throughout the land, as well as on the worst show on TV, ESPN’s First Take. (That’s fact, not opinion. We’d rather watch two rabid hyenas scream at each other).

Anyway, Bynum is suing his former neighbors in California for essentially being bad neighbors. The Sixers center claims in the lawsuit that he has been constantly harassed because the couple objects to “his profession, his race, his friends, his cars and his taste in music.” Or, if you want to interpret it another way, he’s suing them because they are racist.

Well, two can play at that game – as long as its not basketball.

The neighbors, The Becketts, are cross-suing on the grounds that Bynum is a terrible neighbor himself. According to TMZ, Bynum has pulled guns on them, wafted weed smoke in their faces, let his dogs run loose, raced luxury cars at dangerous speeds and blasted video games at “window-shaking volumes.”

Whomever is in the right here, there are really no winners. Either the Becketts are gun-toting Mitt Romney supporters or Andrew Bynum has embraced every stereotype ever associated with NBA players. So, flip a  coin.


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