2013 Boston sports predictions sure to go wrong

Jacoby Ellsbury could be playing elsewhere before the 2013 MLB trade deadline.

The Patriots finally capture that long-sought fourth ring by defeating a faceless Falcons team in New Orleans. Pats fans immediately claim that the Giants dodged them this year and that the only way to exorcise the demons of Super Bowl XLII and Super Bowl XLVI is for Roger Goodell to schedule the next three Super Bowls as Pats-Giants in advance. Being Roger Goodell, the commish seriously ponders this. Thankfully, Paul Tagliabue steps in.



More evidence that the regular season has become boring for Pats fans:

Tom Brady goes down with a scary injury in Week 3 of the 2013 NFL season. Sorry, folks, but he’s due. Ryan Mallett goes 3-3 in the six weeks that Brady is out, leading many to argue that the Pats should sit Brady six regular season games every year so that No. 12 can play until he’s 50. Actually, we’re sure that Bill Belichick already has this plan outlined in the boiler room of CBS Scene.



More evidence that Danny Ainge and Rajon Rondo are manic:


Celtics fans plead with Danny Ainge to swing a deal for Rajon Rondo’s buddy, Josh Smith, at the NBA trade deadline. Instead, Ainge brings back Rondo’s other buddy, Kendrick Perkins by dumping a pair of his under-achieving bench players (any takers out there for Courtney Lee?). During the summer, Ainge ends up overpaying for Smith as a free agent. All in the name of keeping No. 9 happy.



The Bricklayers always win Rock ‘n Jock:

The Red Sox get off to a scorching start in April and May but end up fading down the stretch the way the Baltimore Orioles used to. Still, the locals are fully on board with the Sox’ conservative approach and can’t wait to dump Jacoby Ellsbury at the trade deadline in exchange for a Cubs prospect who has the ceiling of Kevin Youkilis. Fans spend their time monitoring said prospect’s OBP with the Portland SeaDogs and couldn’t care less that John Lackey is 11-2 with a 3.36 ERA midway through the year. Brick sales are up.



Steve Burton, right again:


The NHL lockout ends in late-January and fans are rabid-excited about the Bruins being back. The problem is, Brad Marchand shows up to “camp” tipping the scales at 285 pounds. Tuukka Rask’s groin injury is worse than originally expected and he misses the majority of the 40-game season. Tim Thomas does not answer anyone’s phone calls. The Bruins miss the playoffs.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Breaking: Local

Judge rules Tsarnaev can view victim autopsy photos

Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev can view the autopsy photographs of the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing, a federal judge ruled Wednesday.

International

Nearly 300 missing after South Korean ferry capsizes

Almost 300 people were missing after a ferry capsized off South Korea Wednesday, in what could be the country's biggest maritime disaster in over 20 years.

Local

Tsarnaev defense lawyers in court Wednesday, seek family…

Lawyers for accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev are due in court Wednesday to ask a judge to order prosecutors to hand over more information on the defendant's family.

News

Explosions in new Boston Marathon bomb panic, 'twisted'…

A fresh Boston Marathon terror alert, which caused Bomb Squad officers to order an evacuation while two controlled explosions were carried out, was today being…

Television

'Orphan Black's' Jordan Gavaris talks Felix's Season 2…

Jordan Gavaris plays heroically helpful foster sibling Felix to main clone Sarah on "Orphan Black." We talked to him about what’s ahead for him in…

Television

TV watch list, Tuesday, April 15: 'New Girl,'…

'New Girl' Nick and Jess are hiding their breakup from the other loft residents. And Winston passes the police academy exam! That guy needed some…

Television

'Orphan Black' is back with 'crazy clone shenanigans'

“Orphan Black” is the little show that could. It had a few things working against it: a sci-fi premise, attracting an audience who had never…

The Word

Kelly Osbourne and Paris Hilton fight over a…

Paris Hilton and Kelly Osbourne, both members of famous families and natives of the reality boom of the early aughts, should be great friends. And yet.

MLB

MLB video highlights: White Sox beat Red Sox…

Red Sox fall on walk-off error to White Sox

NBA

NBA Draft Lottery day is May 20: Celtics…

NBA Draft Lottery day is Tuesday, May 20: Celtics percentage odds for a top overall pick

MLB

Opinion: Major League Baseball replay system shouldn't be…

Opinion: Major League Baseball replay system shouldn't be dumped just yet

NHL

Bruins - Red Wings preview: David Krejci ready…

Bruins - Red Wings preview: David Krejci ready to erupt once again in playoffs

Wellbeing

Could a facelift give you the edge at…

It's not just women lining up for procedures.

Home

Steal home decorating tips from Nattystyle blogger Natalie…

Despite the towering ceilings and enviable exposed brick, it’s easy to see how Natalie Decleve’s apartment could be considered a challenge. Perched above the streets…

Home

How to plant a garden in the city

Small on space but big on gardening? You can still have that welcoming oasis of fresh air with an urban garden. Peter Smith, owner of…

Style

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show moving to England

It will still broadcast on CBS this fall.