The Broad Experience: Negotiating While Female

 

Ashley Milne-Tyte says women need to stick to their guns while being polite when negotiating a raise.
Ashley Milne-Tyte says women need to stick to their guns while being polite when negotiating a raise.

How often do you negotiate a raise? If you’re female, the answer is quite likely to be not often, or even never. My first time came about 12 years ago. I was in my 20s and about to switch roles within a company. My co-worker told me I should shoot for a number that constituted a 25 percent raise. It seemed like a huge amount and I found it horribly awkward to discuss money — let alone think I was actually worth something. I squirmed at the thought. But during the interview, I summoned up the courage to make the ask. My supervisor acted surprised, which made me uncomfortable, but I managed to resist backing down.

He muttered that it was a very large raise and I was unlikely to receive that much. Still, he said he’d see what he could do.

I got it.

That was my first lesson in negotiating. Just ask — they can always say no. In almost every study done on negotiating, women simply don’t ask for raises as frequently as men do. It’s one of the many reasons for the gender pay gap. Of course, I know men who hate negotiating as much as I do (I never said it was fun) and women who consider it a point of pride to fight fiercely for what they’re worth. But in general, women face particular challenges when it comes to asking for what we want.

Society still views women as nice and accommodating. Asking for more money doesn’t fit that picture. So we have to be careful how we do it to avoid turning people off. But if you don’t ask, you have no idea what you could get. You could be turned down, but isn’t it better to find out by asking in the first place?

Do’s and Don’ts:

DO your research first. There’s a ton of it out there. I recommend Shenegotiates.com and the book “Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Want” by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever.

DON’T immediately back down if your boss balks at your request. This is all part of the game.

DO remain pleasant and polite throughout. Research shows women can get more from negotiating if they keep playing nice while sticking firmly to their guns.

DON’T say things like “because I deserve it.” It gets interviewers and managers all hot under the collar because it goes against gender norms for women.

Ashley Milne-Tyte is a radio producer and reporter based in New York City. She hosts a bi-monthly podcast called “The Broad Experience” about women in the workplace.

TBE_FinalBanner-01


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
International

Nearly 300 missing after South Korean ferry capsizes

Almost 300 people were missing after a ferry capsized off South Korea Wednesday, in what could be the country's biggest maritime disaster in over 20 years.

Local

Tsarnaev defense lawyers in court Wednesday, seek family…

Lawyers for accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev are due in court Wednesday to ask a judge to order prosecutors to hand over more information on the defendant's family.

News

Explosions in new Boston Marathon bomb panic, 'twisted'…

A fresh Boston Marathon terror alert, which caused Bomb Squad officers to order an evacuation while two controlled explosions were carried out, was today being…

Local

Bomb squad detonates backpacks left at Marathon finish…

The Boston Marathon finish line has been evacuated and the Copley Square T station has been closed as police investigate a suspicious package, WBZ is reporting.

Television

'Orphan Black's' Jordan Gavaris talks Felix's Season 2…

Jordan Gavaris plays heroically helpful foster sibling Felix to main clone Sarah on "Orphan Black." We talked to him about what’s ahead for him in…

Television

TV watch list, Tuesday, April 15: 'New Girl,'…

'New Girl' Nick and Jess are hiding their breakup from the other loft residents. And Winston passes the police academy exam! That guy needed some…

Television

'Orphan Black' is back with 'crazy clone shenanigans'

“Orphan Black” is the little show that could. It had a few things working against it: a sci-fi premise, attracting an audience who had never…

The Word

Kelly Osbourne and Paris Hilton fight over a…

Paris Hilton and Kelly Osbourne, both members of famous families and natives of the reality boom of the early aughts, should be great friends. And yet.

MLB

MLB video highlights: White Sox beat Red Sox…

Red Sox fall on walk-off error to White Sox

NBA

NBA Draft Lottery day is May 20: Celtics…

NBA Draft Lottery day is Tuesday, May 20: Celtics percentage odds for a top overall pick

MLB

Opinion: Major League Baseball replay system shouldn't be…

Opinion: Major League Baseball replay system shouldn't be dumped just yet

NHL

Bruins - Red Wings preview: David Krejci ready…

Bruins - Red Wings preview: David Krejci ready to erupt once again in playoffs

Home

Steal home decorating tips from Nattystyle blogger Natalie…

Despite the towering ceilings and enviable exposed brick, it’s easy to see how Natalie Decleve’s apartment could be considered a challenge. Perched above the streets…

Home

How to plant a garden in the city

Small on space but big on gardening? You can still have that welcoming oasis of fresh air with an urban garden. Peter Smith, owner of…

Style

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show moving to England

It will still broadcast on CBS this fall.

Tech

Google Glass finally goes on sale for regular…

The Google Glass finally went on sale for regular people. It only costs $1,500.