Love beyond your race: do it right

 

Race is a stupid reason not to be with the one you love or are attracted to.
Race is a stupid reason not to be with the one you love or are attracted to.

Lovers, I have  confession. I have a fetish: numbers. Trained in quantitative sociology and having taught statistics, I’m obsessed with tracking social trends like how often people marry and get it on and, who they choose as partners.

My love of numbers gets me thinking about the interracial marriage and cohabiting statistics in America — in my opinion, they help clue us in to what’s going on in race and ethnic relations.

Since the landmark U.S. Supreme Court Loving vs. Virginia decision declared laws barring such couplings unconstitutional, Americans have increasingly shared mattresses with partners whose ethnic backgrounds do not match their own.

I by no means support the idea that everyone should live with or marry someone of a different ethnicity. In fact, I believe just the opposite: Don’t let anyone tell you who to keep in or kick out of your bed. They’re your genitals. Your emotions. As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or others, have fun with them as you choose.

These are some sexy numbers that show how our fellow Americans are having a ball:  According to the U.S. Census, between 2000 and 2010, the number of interracial or interethnic husband-wife households swelled nearly a third, increasing 28%. And interracial dating isn’t uncommon: one of every 10 marriages in America is interracial. Finally, one of every five couples shacking up (18% of male-female and 21%  of  same-sex partners) are interracial.

Should the uptick in interracial loving give us hope for race relationships in America? Absolutely. Things are indeed changing. And no one ever said change comes easily.

Should you wish to swirl up your love life, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Do’s:

• Do mix up your socializing habits. Join different amateur sports leagues, subscribe to various museums’ e-newsletters and read a wider selection of news sources. Opening up your dating life starts with opening your mind.

• Do remember you are a perfectly flawed human being. When getting it on with anyone, you’re likely to mess up, say things to hurt their feelings, and do things they’ll think are stupid or wrong. Be open. Listen. Apologize and revise your words and actions when necessary.

• Do strive to make the world a better, less violent place by spreading healthy forms of love however and whenever you choose.

Don’ts:

• Don’t treat your lover like a stereotype.

• Don’t give a flying jock strap about who your friends and family believe you should love. To quote Jimi Hendrix, “I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”

Twanna hines small

Twanna Hines, a.k.a. Funky Brown Chick, is an award-winning educator and sex columnist. Follow her on twitter @funkybrownchick and don’t be shy!


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Sister of accused Boston Marathon bombers arrested for…

The sister of the accused Boston Marathon bombers was arrested in New York City for threatening a woman over the phone, saying she could "put a bomb on you," police…

Local

Mayor announces public housing improvements

Mayor Bill de Blasio spoke at the Lincoln Houses in East Harlem on Wednesday, calling for the scaffolding to come down at NYCHA complexes across…

National

Peter Theo Curtis: American released by Syrian militants…

An American writer freed this week from two years in the captivity of insurgents in Syria spoke briefly outside his family's Cambridge home Wednesday of…

Local

Bratton defends 'broken windows' work as NYPD support…

Sixty percent of those polled said they support the "broken windows" theory approach popularized by Commissioner Bratton since his first term in the 1990s.

Television

'So You Think You Can Dance' recap: Season…

Season 11’s top four dancers gave their final performances before America’s Favorite Dancers are announced next week.

Going Out

Labor Day in NYC: Make the last weekend…

Soon, it’ll be time for wool accessories and knee-high boots. Even the Pumpkin Spice Latte has already arrived — but we still have one last…

Going Out

Things to do this week in NYC, Aug.…

MUSIC The Electric Zoo Festival Aug. 29-31, 1 p.m. Randall’s Island Park $99-$369, www.electriczoofestival.com The electronic music celebration returns for a fifth year, with 150,000 attendees…

Going Out

5 things to do this weekend in NYC

The Electric Zoo Festival Aug. 29-31, 1 p.m. Randall’s Island Park $99-$369, www.electriczoofestival.com The electronic music celebration returns for a fifth year, with 150,000 attendees expected. David Guetta,…

NFL

Mario Manningham on the bubble as Giants play…

Former Super Bowl hero Mario Manningham hopes his second go-around with Big Blue doesn’t end with Saturday’s final cut day.

NFL

Source: Stephen Hill 'faces a battle' to make…

A team source says Stephen Hill, who has battled injuries and poor performances during his first two years, is no lock to make the Jets’ final roster.

Sports

Serena Williams leaving legacy of talented American women…

It seems only a matter of when, not if, Serena Williams will win her 18th career grand slam championship.

College

When are 2014 college football playoffs? (Schedule, date,…

When and where are 2014 college football playoffs? A look at the schedule, date, TV, time for the semi-finals at championship game.

Food

Recipe: Samuel Adams beer-marinated grilled shrimp

Summer calls for two things: a cold beer and light food. Sam Adams' Latitude 48 IPA fairly bursts with citrus notes, making it an ideal marinade…

Wellbeing

4 healthy ingredient swaps to make your meals…

When it comes to eating well, everyone knows they could be doing better. But cooking in an apartment on a busy schedule is a recipe…

Wellbeing

Heart trumps brain when it comes to movies…

When you need a good cry, do you reach for the movie that’s “based on a true story”? Science says you’re giving your brain far…

Sex

The 10 types of people you meet online

Does it ever seem like online dating profiles tend to get a little repetitive? It turns out you are not the only one to have…