The do’s and don’ts of kinky sex

sex handcuffs kink
Being kinky means different things to different people, but being informed and communicating is always a must. Credit: Fuse

We need to abandon this idea that there are two ways to get it on: regular sex and kink. Sex means that there is no “regular.” According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (the largest and most comprehensive of its kind), there is “enormous variability” in the ways that people knock boots. Furthermore, the survey shows that there’s usually more than one sex act happening per session. Since kink refers to sexual activities outside your usual practice, for some guys, oral sex with women or mutual masturbation would be considered kinky pleasures. For others, these activities are just called fun.

Whether you enjoy face-sitting, spanking, swinging, BDSM or the occasional fuzzy handcuff, your sexual delights are your business. Follow these tips to get your kink on even harder:

DON’T believe the hype about prudishness.
Desire is as unique as each individual who indulges it. Instead of pondering whether you’re more or less kinky or prudish, have fun with whichever delicious activities please you the most.

DO use the Internet to find others who share your kinky interests.
Try websites like ALT.com, CollarMe.com, FetLife.com, KinkAcademy.com and SwingLifeStyle.com. Whether you peruse these sites on your own or with a partner, remember that communication is key. Be sure to talk about boundaries and expectations. And, of course, follow the best practices for privacy and online safety.

DO visit your local sex toy store or online shop.
Research shows that 44 percent of women ages 18 to 60 have used a sex toy, and 20 percent of men have used a vibrator. Investigate ball gags, prostate massagers, harnesses, strap-ons and butt plugs. Maybe you’ll buy something new, maybe you won’t. View a wide selection of offerings to not only titillate the mind but also to remind yourself of the endless sexy possibilities out there.

DO remember getting kinky doesn’t require sex.
Be creative! Fantasize. Role-play. Read erotica about sex with genders, races or scenarios that do not match your own proclivities. Watch different genres of porn.

• DON’T forget to learn the language.
A munch is a low-pressure, public gathering of people interested in BDSM. Leather culture involves more than gay men in chaps. As with any interest or community, get informed to better respect and connect with others.

• DO remember to stay safe.
Ditching conventions does not require exposure to STDs or physical harm. The phrase “safe, sane and consensual,” or SSC, refers to sexual practices that occur while of sound mind, are not hazardous, and happen with the expressed permission of all parties involved. Be responsible and enjoy!

• DON’T forget to look around the house for inspiration.
Belts and spatulas are excellent spanking tools, and you can use at least one garment hanging in your closet as a restraint.

— Twanna A. Hines is an award–winning educator and sex columnist. She has contributed to CNN, NPR, Sirius, Lifetime, Mashable, Nerve, Fast Company magazine, CBC (Canadian National Radio), Paris Première (French television) and Al Jazeera. She’s online at FUNKY BROWN CHICK®, and you can follow her on Twitter @funkybrownchick.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Mutant worms stay sober, even on alcohol

U.S. researchers have developed "mutant worms" that do not get drunk by alcohol, a breakthrough that could lead to new treatment for people trying to quit drinking

Local

K-9 nose helps capture $150K in cocaine at…

A furry, four-legged security agent helped authorities stop an illegal cocaine shipment from sneaking past JFK customs.

National

Minnesota man asked to leave Southwest flight after…

A man and his two sons were asked to leave a Southwest Airlines flight after the man sent a tweet complaining about being treated rudely by a gate agent.

National

Man sues hospital after surprise penis amputation

An Alabama man who went in to a hospital last month for a circumcision awoke after surgery to find his penis had been amputated, his lawyer said on Thursday.

Movies

Review: Brett Ratner's big 'Hercules' movie is small…

The latest "Hercules," starring Dwayne Johnson as the half-god beefcake of Greek myth, strips its hero and tale of most of its fantastical elements.

Arts

Scientists recreate world's smallest Monet copy

Scientists have reproduced a famous Impressionist painting using nano-printing, to create what has been described as the world's smallest work of art. Reworked at the…

Television

Jerry Seinfeld is ambidextrous, and other Reddit AMA…

See some of the weirder highlights of Jerry Seinfeld's recent Reddit AMA.

Going Out

Grab a pedestrian and start dancing at What…

As a New Yorker, I’ve mastered the art of focusing my gaze straight ahead. Though it occasionally piques my interest, the absurdities that play out…

NFL

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player…

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player rankings

U.S. Soccer

NYCFC announce signing of Frank Lampard

The tease of a big signing Thursday by new MLS side NYCFC ended up being one rumored for weeks. England midfielder Frank Lampard agreed to…

NBA

NBA great LeBron James sends 800 cupcake apologies…

By Kim PalmerCLEVELAND (Reuters) - NBA star LeBron James, whose recent return to the Cleveland Cavaliers in his home state of Ohio sparked a frenzy…

NFL

Jerry Reese confident with Giants, skipping countdown clocks…

Last year, Giants GM Jerry Reese installed a countdown clock in the locker room to inspire Big Blue to play in their own stadium for Super Bowl XLVIII.

Tech

Forget Wi-Fi: Li-Fi could be the future

Li-Fi technology – developed by Mexican company Sisoft – is wireless internet connectivity using specialized LED light.

Tech

Weather app Climendo might be the most accurate…

The wait for a truly accurate weather forecast could finally be over thanks to a nifty new app called Climendo.

Tech

Napkin Table puts focus off the phone and…

Michael Jan, a design student at Tunghai University in Taiwan, has invented a serviette-picnic blanket hybrid called the Napkin Table.

Style

Essie's new Color Boutique

Essie launches high-tech kiosks at major airports and malls across the country.