The Word: Simon Cowell likes to shoot up (vitamins, that is)
Sure, Simon Cowell smokes like a chimney. But when you’re as epically rich as the reality TV star, you don’t have to worry about: 1. The insane cost of a pack of smoke; 2. The damage said smokes do to your body. Because you can just get vitamins injected right into your skin through a needle!
Cowell shares with GQ that his secret to staying vital is a weekly IV injection of vitamins and minerals. “When you have it done, it’s an incredibly warm feeling,” he says of the half-hour treatment. “You feel all the vitamins going through you. It’s indescribable but very calming, and then it gives you energy for a good few days afterward.” Cowell, who says he was terrified of needles as a child, insists on having his arm frozen with a spray to numb any pain before each injection. “Everyone I’ve recommended it to, they’ve absolutely loved it,” he says. “It sounds odd, but when you have it, it is fantastic. One girl came down and actually had two orgasms during the treatment.”
You don’t even want to know what happens to that girl when she takes her Flintstones.
Hilton is officially over
While reps for the show insist no decision has been made, the Oxygen network is reportedly dumping Paris Hilton’s series, “The World According to Paris,” after one season, according to Vulture. The show’s first episode in June only brought in 400,000 viewers, and the numbers dropped off after that. While she’s been posting to Twitter regularly about her social life, Hilton hasn’t addressed the cancellation rumors.
Luckily, we were all so obsessed with her non-talents in the early aughts that she has more money than God and will be fine, reality show or no. Way to go, us.
Jim Carrey’s creepy crush on Emma Stone
Stop what you’re doing and go watch the creepy video Jim Carrey posted to his website about his crush on Emma Stone. “Emma, I think you’re all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but smart and kind-hearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you,” the eccentric actor says. “And every day, you would thank God that I was the appropriate age for you. But I’m not. I’m 49.” Carrey took to Twitter to deny or flame the attention (I can’t tell which), writing, “Yes, my msg to Emma Stone was a comedy routine and the funniest part is that everything i said is tru.” Stone is dating Andrew Garfield, so age isn’t the only factor working against Carrey. There’s that, and the fact Carrey’s a total weirdo.