The Word: This weekend in Lohans

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JB LACROIX/WIREIMAGE

This hurts us more than it hurts you, but as a gossip column, we are obligated to dedicate this space to Lindsay Lohan and her adventures in community service over the weekend. (Don’t like it? Get us a pic of Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lopez together, and maybe we can talk.)

Here’s the good news: Not only did Lindsay show up at the morgue, but she was sociable and cleaned floors on her hands and knees, reports TMZ. And although the L.A. county coroner rejected her peace offering (and/or bribe) of cupcakes and burgers, we thought the delivery was a nice gesture.

Now, for the bad news: Dina Lohan is reportedly shopping around a tell-all book about her daughter’s struggles with addiction, and father Michael Lohan gladly took the opportunity to complain about them both in a lengthy, unhinged rant to RadarOnline, in which he compared himself to an archangel.

In other words? This chick is going to be headlining every gossip column for the next 20 years, and we collectively owe her apology cupcakes.

But they were on a break!

The Black Eyed Peas aren’t calling it quits as some rumors suggested, but Fergie does admit the group is on hiatus. “A break is not a breakup — you gotta watch ‘Friends,’” the Queen Pea told TMZ cameras.

We somehow doubt will.i.am is well-versed in the Ross and Rachel saga, so we’ll spell it out for him: It’s a trap, and we bet Fergie would look behind that door.

Sheen: ‘People aren’t stupid’

The more Ashton Kutcher denies cheating on wife Demi Moore in rambling Web videos, the more sane and professional Charlie Sheen seems. Sheen says he has no hard feelings about Kutcher, who replaced him on “Two and a Half Men,” but he’s not surprised ratings for the show have gone down. “He’s doing the best he can. I don’t think the role is cursed, but I’m extremely disappointed with how they’re handling what I left behind,” Sheen tells TMZ. “People aren’t stupid, you know. Not all of them.”


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