The Word: Brace yourself for a Britstorm

Relax, Britney — Vegas is the booze and glitter capital of the world.

Britney Spears is really on a makeover mission for the new year. After quitting “The X Factor” last week, she decided to further shake up her 2013 by ending things with fiance Jason Trawick over the weekend. 

“Jason and I have decided to call off our engagement. I’ll always adore him and we will remain great friends,” Spears said in a statement that we assume was heavily edited.

Unfortunately, there’s no head-shaving and car-smashing to speak of this time around. Sources tell TMZ that the reasons for the split are pretty normal by celebrity standards: Trawick was a little uneasy being an usher at the Britney Circus; the couple couldn’t decide on having children; Britney Spears is Britney-effing-Spears.

So where do you go when you quit your job and your fiance in the same week? Vegas, baby. Brit’s reportedly close to a deal with Caesar properties for a long-term gig. According to TMZ, the paycheck will be “astronomical,” topping Celine Dion’s $100 million-per-year deal at Caesars.

How much do we want to jump in a red convertible with Britney and drive across the desert right now?

So much.

Gaga vs. the Osbournes

Lady Gaga has picked herself quite the fight. In an open letter to Kelly Osbourne — who is a commenter on E! network’s catty “Fashion Police” — Gaga whipped out the B-word, calling Osbourne a bully on her blog.

“To see you blossoming into a beautiful slender woman who makes fun of others for a living is astounding. Why not help others?” wondered Gaga in one of the more annoying pieces of prose on the Web.

Now Sharon Osbourne has come to her daughter’s defense. “You say [Kelly's] work on E! with the Fashion Police is ‘rooted in criticism, judgment, and rating people’s beauty against one another.’ Welcome to the real world,” the 60-year-old firecracker snapped on her Facebook page. “Example, when I saw you wear a dress made out of raw meat, I was sickened.”

Listen, Gaga: Don’t engage in an Internet fight with someone who has made a living being the craziest, scariest Osbourne. This woman’s a survivor, and she totally wants your little dog, too.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Rapper affiliate of Wu-Tang Clan 'cuts off own…

Rapper Andre Johnson, who has performed with New York outfit the Wu-Tang Clan, is in a critical condition after reportedly cutting off his own penis…

National

Cleavage complaint: Disneyland staffer orders curvy mom to…

A curvy mom-of-three says she filed a formal complaint after staff at Disneyland Resort in California ordered her to cover up her boobs. Melissa Behnken,…

International

Canadian charged in 'Heartbleed' attack on tax agency

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadian police have arrested a 19-year-old man and charged him in connection with exploiting the "Heartbleed" bug to steal taxpayer data from…

National

Every dog has his day in court, in…

(Reuters) - Call him juror K-9.A computer glitch is likely to blame for a summons that called a German Shepherd to report for jury duty,…

Television

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ recap: Episode 8

Sure, it's called Survivor. But this season should really be called 'The Tony Show.'

Television

Jim Rash talks 'The Writer's Room' and amazing…

For Jim Rash, as the fifth season of "Community" comes to a close, the second season of "The Writer's Room" begins.

Television

'Dexter' star Jennifer Carpenter moves into producing role

The actress who played the title character's sister in "Dexter" is teaming up with producer George Stelzner to adapt Erika Hayasaki's book "The Death Class:…

The Word

Wahlburgers announce North America domination

Tuesday was a huge day for Donnie Wahlberg.

MLB

MLB video highlights: Red Sox beat White Sox…

Red Sox walk 15 times in extra innings win

NBA

Kris Humphries on free agency, future with Celtics:…

Kris Humphries on free agency, future with Celtics: 'I hope to be back'

NBA

Celtics turn attention to NBA Draft, improve lottery…

Celtics turn attention to NBA Draft, improve lottery odds with loss

NFL

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April version

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April version

Wellbeing

This Week in Health: chocolate may prevent obesity…

Can chocolate prevent obesity and diabetes? Location of study: U.S. Study subjects: Mice Results: The positive health benefits of chocolate have been studied increasingly more…

Wellbeing

This Week in Health News: breastfed infants trying…

Are breastfed infants trying to prevent mom from having another baby? Theory: The act of breastfeeding not only brings mom and baby closer together –…

Wellbeing

Unexplained infertility may be caused by lack of…

Researchers have identified a protein on the egg's surface that interacts with another protein on the surface of sperm, allowing the two cells to join.

Tech

5 surprising facts about Google Glass

Your sex life could get more interesting.