Costa Concordia captain Francesco Schettino is truly no Sully Sullenberger

The stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia lies partially submerged off the Isola del Giglio.

When the moment comes, not all of us can rise to the occasion.

It’s very easy for us Internet denizens to sit in our chairs and tut-tut every decision made by every person in the news. If I was the CEO of Netflix, I would not have introduced Qwikster! If I was Kim Kardashian, I would have waited longer than 72 days before divorcing my fake husband! If I was Jerry Sandusky’s lawyer, I would have told him not to do a creepy interview on national television!

Still, we feel pretty safe saying that the captain of the Italian cruise ship that hit rock off the coast of Livorno Friday night probably should have stayed on the ship instead of bailing on the first opportunity — especially since the Italian authorities agree. In newly released conversations, both the Italian coast guard and the Livorno port authority are heard berating Captain Francesco Schettino for abandoning his ship:

Coast Guard Captain Gregario De Falco: “Where are you? On the lifeboats? All the officers?”

Schettino: “Yes, we are with the second commander…”

De Falco: “Forgive me, but before you were only with a sailor. If the officers managed to get down, it means that they could still move.”

Schettino: “Yes…in fact…

De Falco: “Then why don’t they get back on board? To monitor the operation and then they can tell us. Thank you.”

Schettino: “No it is not possible…”

De Falco: “Send them on board. Send one person on board to coordinate…”

Schettino: “But I am doing the coordination.”

De Falco: “I’m giving you an order captain. You need to send someone on board.”

Later, the Coast Guard captain is heard haranguing the weak-willed captainL

De Falco: “Look Schettino, you might have been saved from the sea, but I will make sure you go through a very rough time…I will make sure you go through a lot of trouble. Get on board, damn it.”

Audio of the conversations below, from the Guardian:

There probably will not be a “Tonight Show” spot in this doofus’ future.


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