Is your career your first love?

Danielle Spencer and Russell Crowe split.

Russell Crowe and his wife of nine years, Danielle Spencer, announced their separation this weekend. The two were on opposite sides of the globe when the news broke, she in Australia shooting “Dancing With The Stars,” and he in Los Angeles shooting the film “Noah.” Their whereabouts might be an indication of what went wrong with their marriage. Did their careers take priority over their love lives?

Often, you have to ask yourself the question: which comes first, my love life or my career? Sometimes there’s no easy answer. For celebrities, the choice can be particularly hard since their work often takes them far away for long periods of time, but you don’t have to be a star to grapple with this tug-of-war. At some point, if you have a profession, you will most likely be forced to make a decision. While having a career should not preclude being in a relationship, the question often becomes: How much is too much?

If you’re the one left alone on a Saturday night — as one of my patients was when her boyfriend couldn’t make it to her sister’s wedding because he had to work — what is important to keep in mind is to not take your partner’s working overtime personally. It’s easy to fall into the pattern of feeling they are choosing the office over you, while typically they don’t see it as a choice but as their professional responsibility. If this is going on for you or the person you’re seeing, look to put some checks and balances in place. If it’s the sixth night in a row that you haven’t been home before midnight, it may be time to have a talk with the boss and set some boundaries.

The other thing you can do if you know you are going to be overwhelmed with work and anticipate being exhausted, is to give your partner fair warning. That way, they can make other plans and not feel ignored or abandoned. You want to preserve the emotional intimacy you share with your partner because that can ultimately help sustain you as you make your way in the world. If you work to balance it, you can maintain your career and your love life, rather than ending the relationship.

— Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is creator of “Shrink Wrap” – national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships – and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available nationwide.

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Miley Cyrus hospitalized, cancels Kansas concert, condition unknown,…

Singer Miley Cyrus was hospitalized on Tuesday night after suffering what is believed to be 'a severe allergic reaction' to antibiotics medication. The 21-year-old Bangerz…

News

Explosions in new Boston Marathon bomb panic, 'twisted'…

A fresh Boston Marathon terror alert, which caused Bomb Squad officers to order an evacuation while two controlled explosions were carried out, was today being…

Local

Bomb squad detonates backpacks left at Marathon finish…

The Boston Marathon finish line has been evacuated and the Copley Square T station has been closed as police investigate a suspicious package, WBZ is reporting.

National

Reddit boosts news capabilities in social media turf…

By Jennifer SabaNEW YORK (Reuters) - Reddit, a website with a retro-'90s look and space-alien mascot that tracks everything from online news to celebrity Q&As,…

Entertainment

Miley Cyrus hospitalized, cancels Kansas concert, condition unknown,…

Singer Miley Cyrus was hospitalized on Tuesday night after suffering what is believed to be 'a severe allergic reaction' to antibiotics medication. The 21-year-old Bangerz…

Television

'Orphan Black's' Jordan Gavaris talks Felix's Season 2…

Jordan Gavaris plays heroically helpful foster sibling Felix to main clone Sarah on "Orphan Black." We talked to him about what’s ahead for him in…

Television

TV watch list, Tuesday, April 15: 'New Girl,'…

'New Girl' Nick and Jess are hiding their breakup from the other loft residents. And Winston passes the police academy exam! That guy needed some…

Television

'Orphan Black' is back with 'crazy clone shenanigans'

“Orphan Black” is the little show that could. It had a few things working against it: a sci-fi premise, attracting an audience who had never…

MLB

MLB video highlights: White Sox beat Red Sox…

Red Sox fall on walk-off error to White Sox

NBA

NBA Draft Lottery day is May 20: Celtics…

NBA Draft Lottery day is Tuesday, May 20: Celtics percentage odds for a top overall pick

MLB

Opinion: Major League Baseball replay system shouldn't be…

Opinion: Major League Baseball replay system shouldn't be dumped just yet

NHL

Bruins - Red Wings preview: David Krejci ready…

Bruins - Red Wings preview: David Krejci ready to erupt once again in playoffs

Home

Steal home decorating tips from Nattystyle blogger Natalie…

Despite the towering ceilings and enviable exposed brick, it’s easy to see how Natalie Decleve’s apartment could be considered a challenge. Perched above the streets…

Home

How to plant a garden in the city

Small on space but big on gardening? You can still have that welcoming oasis of fresh air with an urban garden. Peter Smith, owner of…

Style

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show moving to England

It will still broadcast on CBS this fall.

Tech

Google Glass finally goes on sale for regular…

The Google Glass finally went on sale for regular people. It only costs $1,500.