Boston

Don’t let your smartphone ruin your relationship

Nicholas Hoult and Jennifer Lawrence pose back in happier times.

Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence and her boyfriend, actor Nicholas Hoult, have reportedly broken up after two years of dating. One can only imagine that, with all the buzz surrounding her career, Jennifer’s phone has been ringing off the hook. It seems like she must be available all the time, right? But availability comes in all sizes.

That iPhone, BlackBerry, iPad or Droid might be sucking all of your or your partner’s attention away from the time you have together. It is hard to know if that was the case with Jennifer and Nicholas, but it ramps up the question we all have to deal with: Are you paying more attention to your phone than to the people around you?

When you’re on the phone for your job, your partner’s supposed to understand. But even work has to have limits. If it is spilling over to the dinner table or, even worse, the bedroom, that can leave your significant other feeling unimportant and left out.

It is OK to be accessible to your job, but not if it makes you unavailable to your partner. When that is happening, put some guidelines in place. For example, you can decide that there should be no phone while watching a movie. Deciding to put the phone away completely after dinner might help. At the very least, turn it off during mealtimes and bedtime. Make its presence the exception and not the norm.


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