Rabbi’s new book says lust is key to successful marriage

NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 04:  Debbie Boteach and Rabbi Shmuley Boteach attend the Champion Of Jewish Values International Awards Gala at The New York Marriott Marquis on June 4, 2013 in New York City.  (Photo by Taylor Hill/WireImage)
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and his wife, Debbie Boteach . Credit: Taylor Hill/WireImage

“Love is not the answer.”

That’s the message that one New Jersey rabbi has for anyone seeking marriage advice.

Shmuley Boteach, an Orthodox rabbi, author and former congressional candidate, says lust is more important than love in a marriage. He outlines his beliefs in his latest book, “Kosher Lust,“ which was released last week.

The Englewood-based rabbi believes lust can save marriages, and he says even the Bible proves that lust is the key to a happy and long-lasting union.

“All the famous marriages of the Bible are lust relationships, not love relationships,” he told the New York Post. “Just look at our patriarchs. Jacob waits seven years for Rachel, and for him it feels like a few days. The first thing Rebecca does when she meets Isaac is veil her face.”

The lack of lust is a reason for many failed marriages, Boteach said.

“The reason why women leave bad marriages is because they don’t feel desired,” he explained. “Even in affairs, men don’t love the other woman — they lust after her. If you put love and lust together, love stands no chance.”

Although lust has long been perceived as dirty and sinful, Boteach believes: “Lust is the pinnacle of holiness.”

So what can married couples do to improve the lust in their relationship?

There should be an air of mystery between husband and wife, Boteach said.

He uses Sarah and Abraham from the Bible as an example. Sarah always kept a certain distance from Abraham, which made her mysterious and desirable to her husband.

Modern-day couples can achieve that same air of mystery by doing things like closing the bathroom door, Boteach said. Husbands and wives should also avoid walking around the house naked, especially if the other person is watching TV or focused on something else.

Boteach, who is married with nine kids, has written 30 books, including “Kosher Sex” and “The Kosher Sutra.”



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Actor Tracy Morgan wasn't wearing seatbelt in June…

By Jonathan Stempel(Reuters) - Actor and comedian Tracy Morgan and others in his limousine were not wearing seat belts when their vehicle was struck by…

National

Connected cars: Is AT&T leaving Verizon in its…

By Marina Lopes and Bernie WoodallWASHINGTON/DETROIT (Reuters) - Verizon Communications, the No.1 U.S. wireless carrier known for its widespread coverage, is falling behind its biggest…

Local

Grand jury begins hearing evidence in Eric Garner…

A grand jury began hearing evidence Monday relating to the death of Eric Garner while in police custody in July. Garner, 43, of Staten Island,…

Local

Mayor announces plan for solar panels at city…

Mayor Bill de Blasio announced the planned installation of 24 new solar panels at city schools on Monday morning. The panels, a $28 million investment,…

Going Out

Taste what Lower Manhattan is cooking at today's…

The Lower Manhattan food scene has changed a lot in three years, which you can taste first hand when the neighborhood's food festival returns. On…

Television

Review: 'Selfie' tries to coast on the charm…

"Selfie" offers cute leads and some good jokes, but focuses too much on a vague distaste for social media.

Movies

Review: Jason Reitman's 'Men, Women & Children' is…

Jason Reitman's "Men, Women & Children" takes a hysterical and melodramatic look at disconnection in the digital age, turning strong actors into zombies.

Television

TV watch list, Monday, Sept. 29: 'Castle,' 'Mom'…

Tune in for the season premieres of "Castle," "Mom" and "NCIS: Los Angeles."

NFL

Ryan Quigley making a big impact for Jets…

Ryan Quigley, now in his second year as the Jets punter, had an exceptional afternoon with six punts for an average of 51.7 yards per punt.

NFL

3 positives to take from Jets loss to…

The Jets suffered another loss Sunday — 24-17 to the Lions — but the reason why it hurts so much for Jets fans is that…

MLB

Joe Girardi not confident David Robertson will return…

David Robertson was as seamless as anyone could be replacing Mariano Rivera as he converted 39 saves, with a 3.08 ERA and 96 strikeouts in 64 1/3 innings.

NBA

Carmelo Anthony preaches patience with new coach, offense

While star forward Carmelo Anthony said he’s “enthusiastic” and “optimistic” for the upcoming season, he still wants everyone — from within the locker room and…

Education

How to ace your private school interview

Getting ready for a private school interview can be daunting for many, most of whom might never have been in an interview situation before. We’ve…

Education

5 questions parents should ask while visiting private…

It can be hard to know what to look for when searching for a new school for your child. Parents considering several different schools can…

Education

3 ways to save money on college application…

With the average high school student applying to 5 or 6 schools, hefty application and test score fees can add up quickly. We’ve compiled some…

Education

Nap rooms: The latest college campus trend

College is a time filled with new experiences (and lots of schoolwork), leaving little time for students to get a good night’s rest. University of…