Rabbi’s new book says lust is key to successful marriage

NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 04:  Debbie Boteach and Rabbi Shmuley Boteach attend the Champion Of Jewish Values International Awards Gala at The New York Marriott Marquis on June 4, 2013 in New York City.  (Photo by Taylor Hill/WireImage)
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and his wife, Debbie Boteach . Credit: Taylor Hill/WireImage

“Love is not the answer.”

That’s the message that one New Jersey rabbi has for anyone seeking marriage advice.

Shmuley Boteach, an Orthodox rabbi, author and former congressional candidate, says lust is more important than love in a marriage. He outlines his beliefs in his latest book, “Kosher Lust,“ which was released last week.

The Englewood-based rabbi believes lust can save marriages, and he says even the Bible proves that lust is the key to a happy and long-lasting union.

“All the famous marriages of the Bible are lust relationships, not love relationships,” he told the New York Post. “Just look at our patriarchs. Jacob waits seven years for Rachel, and for him it feels like a few days. The first thing Rebecca does when she meets Isaac is veil her face.”

The lack of lust is a reason for many failed marriages, Boteach said.

“The reason why women leave bad marriages is because they don’t feel desired,” he explained. “Even in affairs, men don’t love the other woman — they lust after her. If you put love and lust together, love stands no chance.”

Although lust has long been perceived as dirty and sinful, Boteach believes: “Lust is the pinnacle of holiness.”

So what can married couples do to improve the lust in their relationship?

There should be an air of mystery between husband and wife, Boteach said.

He uses Sarah and Abraham from the Bible as an example. Sarah always kept a certain distance from Abraham, which made her mysterious and desirable to her husband.

Modern-day couples can achieve that same air of mystery by doing things like closing the bathroom door, Boteach said. Husbands and wives should also avoid walking around the house naked, especially if the other person is watching TV or focused on something else.

Boteach, who is married with nine kids, has written 30 books, including “Kosher Sex” and “The Kosher Sutra.”



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

MAP: New York City Street Closures August 22,…

The Percy Sutton Harlem 5K and NYC Family Health Walk-a-thon and Pakistan Day Parade and Fair will cause traffic delays and street closures in New York City this weekend. Plan…

International

U.N. nuclear inquiry on Iran seen making slow…

The U.N. nuclear watchdog appears to have made only limited progress so far in getting Iran to answer questions about its suspected atomic bomb research, diplomatic sources said on Friday,…

National

Violence-weary Missouri town sees second night of calm

By Nick Carey and Carey GillamFERGUSON Mo. (Reuters) - The violence-weary town of Ferguson, Missouri, saw a second straight evening of relative calm on Thursday…

National

Journalist James Foley's parents, after call with pope,…

The parents of James Foley, the American journalist killed by Islamic State militants in Iraq, on Friday called for prayer and support to free the remaining captives held by Islamic…

Television

Recap: 'The Knick,' Season 1, Episode 3, 'The…

The third episode of Steven Soderbergh's "The Knick" finds Dr. Thackery (Clive Owen) meeting an old flame and other characters embracing self-destruction.

Music

Webcast: Watch Polyphonic Spree live on Sunday Aug.…

Polyphonic Spree singer Tim DeLaughter sits with Metro Music Editor Pat Healy for a chat and then the big band performs live. It begins on Sunday at 9:30 pm

Movies

Matthew Weiner on directing 'Are You Here' and…

"Mad Men" creator Matthew Weiner discusses his movie "Are You Here," his history writing comedy and the tiny movie he directed in 1996 you can't see.

Movies

Michael Chiklis on his football past and 'When…

Michael Chiklis remembers playing football in high school and how that prepped him to play a coach in "When the Game Stands Tall."

NFL

3 things we learned about the Giants in…

The Giants claimed the Snoopy trophy in a battle of MetLife Stadium tenants Friday night. But more importantly, the offense finally showed some life in…

NFL

3 things we learned about the Jets in…

The Jets lost the Snoopy Bowl, 35-24, to the Giants, losing the trophy and local bragging rights.

NFL

Fantasy football draft guide: How to draft your…

Many are wondering if we’re entering a new age in fantasy football drafting — one where running backs take a backseat.

NFL

Jets vs. Giants: 3 Giants storylines to watch

The Giants have plenty to work on as they reach the dress rehearsal preseason game Friday night against the rival Jets.

Wellbeing

Asics is giving away free gear around NYC…

Asics wants to see you on the court - and in the stands for the U.S. Open, which begins Monday - by giving away free…

Sex

Big weddings may lead to long-term happiness

Dreaming of a big wedding? A new study indicates that the longer your guest list, the happier you’ll be in the long run. l A…

Sex

Online dating for every generation

Frank Jackson and his mother Maggie are like lots of modern families: They have dinner together regularly, keep each other updated on their lives —…

Wellbeing

Going green could be the key to getting…

If we could just pursue the things that would actually make us happy, we could help the environment too, according to a New York researcher.…