Letter: Not the diet for the woman who hates everything

Re: ‘3-day detox’ (Metro, Jan. 8)

Joy… sigh. I’m not going to go buy $15 vanilla protein powder to have three half-scoops’ worth. That’s ridiculous. And what normal person (normal meaning someone who doesn’t spend $100 a month on yoga supplies) has chia seeds in their pantry — not to mention, I’m not sure I want to eat the seeds my best friend’s daughters spread on clay heads to grow sprouts. I don’t like spinach.

I don’t like tomatoes, onions, broccoli, beets, cucumbers, mushrooms or cauliflower either.

I hate all beans, not only because they taste foul but also because I don’t fancy a musical a—hole at work the next day.

I don’t like grapefruit, which many people cannot eat because of the acidic content and because it cannot be mixed with many different medications, etc. Oh, yeah, it’s also bitter and nasty.

I HATE FISH. It’s disgusting. The smell is even worse than the taste, and the taste… ugh. Let’s murder a cold-blooded, scaled animal, rip its scales off and then cook it (or not cook it) and eat it.
What giant moron came up with that idea?

Oh, and of course there’s that little thing about sucking down mercury every serving. And the risk of parasitic infection, which is as prominent among fish as salmonella is among chicken.
And broccoli with pepper for dessert… Yeah, that’s gonna happen.

This diet, or “detox,” is not only some of the worst tasting food… it is a SUREFIRE WAY to help dieting women FAIL.

Jenn Matrone, via email


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