Playing the Field: The Sports Oscars edition

Pepsi Super Bowl XLVII Halftime Show
We dare you to look at those legs and tell me Beyonce isn’t an athlete!

Well, the Oscars are here (well, they’ll be here Sunday) and why can’t sports join in on the fun? And if you’re thinking, ‘What about the ESPY Awards?’, then click a banner ad and move along because they don’t count.

So, to borrow an old Bud Selig phrase, this time it counts. With that, we bring you Playing the Field’s version, better known as the Oscar Pistorius Awards.

Best male athlete in a leading role » LeBron James. As much as we’ve hated on the King in this space in the past — and all apologies to Kobe — he’s the best. He’s flat-out unstoppable right now, and he’s living proof that you can have your cake and eat it, too.

Best female athlete in a leading role » Beyonce. Before you even try and say that Bey isn’t an athlete, take a look at her abs in that GQ photo shoot. If that doesn’t sell you, remember that time she turned out the lights at the Super Bowl? Yes, that happened.

Best supporting male athlete » Oscar Pistorius’ prosthetic legs. The Blade Runner scooped up six Paralympic golds (and didn’t embarrass himself in the real Games). Oh right … he also strapped on those bad boys before shooting and killing his girlfriend. Legs!

Best supporting female athlete » Gabby Douglas’ hair. Douglas, the 17-year-old gymnast nicknamed the Flying Squirrel, turned in one of the most impressive performances in Olympic history. Then several detractors took to Twitter to call out her unkempt hair. Umm, looked fine to us. Then again, our grooming habits our very suspect.

Best producer » John Calipari. Kentucky coach earned his first national championship last April — and while his squad is struggling this year — Cal continues to churn out NBA hits (Nerlens Noel, he’ll be fine once Dr. James Andrews gets done with him, is his latest project).

Best costume design » Andrew Bynum. We’re not even factoring in his ridiculous, ever-changing hairstyles. No, no. Bynum gets this award for pretending to be an actual NBA superstar. Sorry, Sixers fans.

Best music » The real academy prefers original scores. We don’t. We’re giving this one to the Miami Dolphins cheerleading squad for its awesome rendition of that annoyingly addictive Carly Rae Jepsen song.

 


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
International

Jews in eastern Ukraine ordered to register, Kerry…

Secretary of State John Kerry condemned reports that Jews in eastern Ukraine had been ordered to register with the authorities "or suffer the consequences."

National

Chelsea Clinton pregnant with first child

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with her first child.

National

Divers struggle in search for South Korean ferry…

By Jungmin Jang and Narae KimMOKPO/JINDO, South Korea (Reuters) - Rescuers struggled with strong waves and murky waters on Thursday as they searched for hundreds…

National

New Hampshire moves to decriminalize adultery

For the first time in hundreds of years, it's about to be legal to cheat on your spouse in New Hampshire.

Television

Dick Wolf to bring fictionalized world of 'Law…

A&E has ordered a pilot called "D.O.A." from "Law and Order" mastermind Dick Wolf that will focus on real detectives reexamining cold cases. A trio…

Movies

Review: 'Transcendence' is not stupid but sometimes lacks…

The cyberthriller "Transcendence" explores artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and other ethical quandaries, but has too much ambition, if anything.

Television

Shane West talks WGN America's 'Salem'

The actor on history lessons, a new network and showing his butt.

Music

Both feet on the ground with Aimee Mann…

What began with a cool double-bill of Ted Leo opening for Aimee Mann morphed into a full-fledged collaborative project that they're calling The Both. “There…

Sports

2014 Boston Marathon preview: Elite American, International runners…

2014 Boston Marathon: Elite American, International runners to watch

NBA

2014 NBA Finals odds: Ranking which playoff teams…

2014 NBA Finals odds: Ranking which playoff teams have the best shot at a championship. The Thunder, Clippers, Heat and Rockets lead the way.

NFL

2014 Patriots, full NFL schedule release date announced

2014 Patriots, full NFL schedule release date announced

NBA

Fantasy basketball: Finding next year's NBA studs

Before we put the 2013-14 fantasy basketball season to bed, it’s worth thinking about next year’s breakouts while they’re fresh in our mind.

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.

Travel

Earth Day travel in the Florida Keys

See why this eco-friendly destination deserves your attention.

Tech

Sorry, Facebook — FarmVille goes mobile with 'Country…

Zynga has released a version of the hit "FarmVille" tailored for smartphones and tablets in the hope of reaping a bumper crop of players.