Playing the Field: Sex.com approaches Kobe Bryant, Eagles approach Paris Jackson

Sex.com wants to see Kobe Bryant dunk against LeBron James.
Sex.com wants to see Kobe Bryant dunk against LeBron James.

To be quite honest, when I first heard the name “Kobe” and “porn” in the same phrase I was thinking about things much more sinister than dunk contests.

Ya know, cause after you’re charged with rape all bets are off when it comes to public sex stipulations.

But Kobe and the NBA have done such a masterful job of rehabbing his image (the 10-year plan most certainly worked) after the Lakers superstar bawled his eyes out for the world to see in a July 2003 press conference, that most people in today’s society don’t even remember the incident.

It seems suits at Sex.com (do porn sites actually have high ranking execs, and do they actually have offices and wear actual ties and stuff to work?), have forgotten about what did or did not happen in Eagle, Colo. a decade ago as they offered Kobe $5 million to participate in a dunk contest with LeBron James. Yup, Magic Johnson and Sex.com are here to save the NBA slam dunk contest by throwing gobs of money at the game’s most famous stars.

Kobe, of course, should do it – if for no other reason than to send David Stern into a “Jordan gambling at 4 a.m. in Atlantic City” – like tantrum. The same way Rob Gronkowski should hook up with everyone’s favorite girl next floor, Bibi Jones, in exchange for $3 million (also a Sex.com project) just to wrinkle the feathers of Lord Goodell.

One of these days, one of these famous athletes is going to break the porn barrier. You can bet ESPN is already scrambling on how to handle it.

Bad idea genes
So Paris Jackson, the 14-year-old daughter of the late Michael Jackson, is a cheerleader today for some high school out in LA.

In turn, Philadelphia Eagles cheerleading guru/publicity hound Barbara Zaun jumped at the chance to get her name on TMZ by saying that Paris would “make a great Eagles cheerleader!”

Uh, actually I can think of about, oh, say, 31 other NFL cities that would be a better landing spot for Ms. Jackson. Do we really think Eagles fans would treat the emotionally fragile daughter of the most famous dead, multi-colored, formerly emotionally fragile pop singer in the history of the world with class and dignity? I’m sure there would be zero child molestation jokes reigning down on young Paris from guys 10 whiskey-sodas deep at Lincoln Financial Field.

Plus, warm-weathered LA is going to have an NFL team by the time Paris is 18 and her aunt Janet already has the NFL halftime show deal flat-out conquered. Calm down Barbara Zaun.

Follow Metro Boston sports editor and columnist Matt Burke on Twitter @BurkeMetroBOS


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