Playing the Field: The Chicago Bulls’ plot to overthrow Kim Jong-un

kukoc_100614
Toni Kukoc and Kim Jong-un go way back … to the ’90s!

 

That’s it. I’m convinced.

The 1997-98 Chicago Bulls are going to overthrow Kim Jong-un and take over North Korea within the next five months. (For the record: Jordan as president, Pippen as VP, Luc Longley as CIA head and Joe Kleine as speaker of the house.)

Two weeks ago Dennis Rodman was “touring” the People’s Republic with the Harlem Globetrotters (wow, that’s still fun to write) and now we learn that a young Kim Jong-un took a photograph with former Bulls small forward Toni Kukoc years ago. Kukoc seemed VERY defensive when asked about the photo (likely taken in France in the ’90s when the Bulls were touring there in the preseason).

“It’s Paris, the McDonald’s tournament, we’re world champions,” Kukoc told ESPNChicago.com. “Every place you went, people were trying to take pictures. What am I supposed to say? I don’t really know what to say. I don’t remember what I had for lunch today and I can remember that? It ended up a crazy thing.

“I consider myself pretty well-traveled but I don’t know at least 50 percent of the countries and I’m supposed to know some kid who (was going to) take over his dad’s dictatorship?” Kukoc said. “I don’t think if there were seven bodyguards around him with guns I wouldn’t have noticed.” 

It’s pretty obvious by now that the ’98 Bulls are just roping in Kim Jong-un (Rodman saying he’s his friend) and the U.S. media (Kukoc’s deny, deny, deny strategy) while this whole time there’s an “Argo”-like plot (or at least an episode of “Looney Tunes” when Bugs Bunny dresses up as the hot girl rabbit) being hatched.

We can now all expect a title like “Penetra-Bull: How a former basketball dynasty invaded and overthrew a Stalinist dictatorship” to win motion picture of the year in 2039.

Sapp fatigued with Patriots talk

Speaking of Stalinist dictatorships, Bill Belichick’s name was being tossed about on NFL Network Tuesday night as former Patriots GM Scott Pioli sat down with NFL Red Zone spaz Scott Hanson. Warren Sapp had no idea his microphone was on when he said this over the NFL Net airwaves:

“It’s the same f—ing spew we had (Mike) Lombardi doing,” Sapp whispered in the creepiest way possible. “The f—ing Bill Belichick f—ing angle.”

Matt Burke is sports editor and a columnist at Metro Boston. Follow him on Twitter: @BurkeMetroBOS


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Miley Cyrus hospitalized, cancels Kansas concert, condition unknown,…

Singer Miley Cyrus was hospitalized on Tuesday night after suffering what is believed to be 'a severe allergic reaction' to antibiotics medication. The 21-year-old Bangerz…

News

Explosions in new Boston Marathon bomb panic, 'twisted'…

A fresh Boston Marathon terror alert, which caused Bomb Squad officers to order an evacuation while two controlled explosions were carried out, was today being…

Local

Bomb squad detonates backpacks left at Marathon finish…

The Boston Marathon finish line has been evacuated and the Copley Square T station has been closed as police investigate a suspicious package, WBZ is reporting.

National

Reddit boosts news capabilities in social media turf…

By Jennifer SabaNEW YORK (Reuters) - Reddit, a website with a retro-'90s look and space-alien mascot that tracks everything from online news to celebrity Q&As,…

Entertainment

Miley Cyrus hospitalized, cancels Kansas concert, condition unknown,…

Singer Miley Cyrus was hospitalized on Tuesday night after suffering what is believed to be 'a severe allergic reaction' to antibiotics medication. The 21-year-old Bangerz…

Television

'Orphan Black's' Jordan Gavaris talks Felix's Season 2…

Jordan Gavaris plays heroically helpful foster sibling Felix to main clone Sarah on "Orphan Black." We talked to him about what’s ahead for him in…

Television

TV watch list, Tuesday, April 15: 'New Girl,'…

'New Girl' Nick and Jess are hiding their breakup from the other loft residents. And Winston passes the police academy exam! That guy needed some…

Television

'Orphan Black' is back with 'crazy clone shenanigans'

“Orphan Black” is the little show that could. It had a few things working against it: a sci-fi premise, attracting an audience who had never…

MLB

MLB video highlights: White Sox beat Red Sox…

Red Sox fall on walk-off error to White Sox

NBA

NBA Draft Lottery day is May 20: Celtics…

NBA Draft Lottery day is Tuesday, May 20: Celtics percentage odds for a top overall pick

MLB

Opinion: Major League Baseball replay system shouldn't be…

Opinion: Major League Baseball replay system shouldn't be dumped just yet

NHL

Bruins - Red Wings preview: David Krejci ready…

Bruins - Red Wings preview: David Krejci ready to erupt once again in playoffs

Home

Steal home decorating tips from Nattystyle blogger Natalie…

Despite the towering ceilings and enviable exposed brick, it’s easy to see how Natalie Decleve’s apartment could be considered a challenge. Perched above the streets…

Home

How to plant a garden in the city

Small on space but big on gardening? You can still have that welcoming oasis of fresh air with an urban garden. Peter Smith, owner of…

Style

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show moving to England

It will still broadcast on CBS this fall.

Tech

Google Glass finally goes on sale for regular…

The Google Glass finally went on sale for regular people. It only costs $1,500.