Patriots: The Tim Tebow signing in real time

Tim Tebow is coming to Foxboro and we now have to deal with IT ALL. (Getty Images)
Tim Tebow is coming to Foxboro and we now have to deal with IT ALL. (Getty Images)

“Thoughts? — don’t even have to add a subject”

“Tim Tebow … A Patriot????”

“Belichick knows trollin’ only exists on the Internet, right?” “WHYYYYYYYYY?”

It has only been five minutes, yet I already have these five text messages about the news. It’s a story that needs no actual introduction. His name is an alliteration, and he is coming to Foxboro. Not for a charity event. Nope. He’s here to try out for the local football team. Worse, he was invited. It’s not that I’m against him, or his beliefs; it’s the other stuff. The water coolers are particularly jovial, sports talk radio is beaming, and I’m left aghast, fighting to find the words for words to a column that I don’t want to write. I’ll be abundantly honest, dear reader, I’m not ready to join the conversation. Not yet, anyway.

Thirty seconds later, someone nearby actually uttered the words “Brady is getting old.” I snap. Surely, there’s a successor to Tom Terrific, but not him. Not Tebow. I immediately get an eerie feeling, like Kate Hudson’s character in Almost Famous, named Penny Lane, will magically appear and excitedly squeal, “It’s all happening!” Except we’re not waiting for Stillwater, we’re waiting for Tebow. 

- I’ve never been a sycophant, or subscribed to “In Bill We Trust.” Blind faith, no pun intended, breeds irrationality. Publically, The Patriot Way, as an ideology, died when the team traded for Albert Haynesworth. But realistically, it never existed. Still, I am not sure how to react to this, mainly I because I don’t want to react to this. Six minutes ago, I lived in a world. It was far from perfect, but Tebow was never part of it, or essential to it, beyond goofily looking at him as a straight-to-DVD Disney movie. Because Tebow Time, meaning everything that comes along with The Signing – the attention, baggage, and polarization – is typically reserved for other franchises, in other cities, that wear the ugliest shade of green in the color’s arsenal.

Time is moving but nothing is subsiding. Minute number seven is full of disappointment. There are seven steps to these sorts of events, and shock is still resonating. I just want to be given a second to collect my bearings, but life never waits. I’m callously reminded of this truth as CBS confirms the original ESPN report, and, seamlessly, step number two, “Denial,” is forgone — bypassed in another world, where Twitter and the 24/7 news cycle doesn’t exist.

Exactly nine minutes after The Signing, I ask the natural follow up: “What are they going to do with him?” The team will still win 13 games and be entrenched
in The Conversation. Still, here we are: Tim Tebow, Patriot. Bedlam.

Follow Ryan Hadfield on Twitter @Hadfield__


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Future Boston Alliance invites you to #RidetheLine, support…

#RidetheLine aims to show the city, the nation, and the globe our creative impact as Boston citizens.

Local

(Update) Body of missing BU grad Eric Munsell…

The dead man pulled from the water at Boston's Long Wharf Wednesday afternoon was that of missing 24-year-old Boston University alumnus Eric Munsell, Boston Police said today.

National

On newly released tape, 'Squeaky' Fromme says was…

Manson Family member Squeaky Fromme told a mental health examiner in newly released interview the "X" she carved in her forehead was meant to separate her from "the system."

National

Electric Zoo tickets on sale Tuesday as festival…

Electric Zoo tickets go on sale Tuesday. The festival announced plans to amp up security after two attendees died last year from apparent drug overdoses.

The Word

Taylor Swift battles paparazzi daily at Tribeca penthouse

We're entranced by these photos of poor Taylor Swift leaving her Tribeca apartment.

Movies

Tribeca: Nikki Reed on going funny for a…

"Intramural" star Nikki Reed talks about being the straight person in a broad comedy, spending time in Austin and how "Thirteen" was a "miracle."

Arts

'Becoming Cuba' at Huntington is a bit short…

Playwright Melinda Lopez freely lampoons the English language for its lack of passion in her latest work, “Becoming Cuba.” Ironically, the Huntington Theatre Company’s playwright-in-residence…

Movies

Interview: 'The Quiet Ones' star Sam Claflin on…

"Hunger Games" co-star Sam Claflin talks about his new horror film "The Quiet Ones," plus how technology connects him with fans.

NFL

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April 24…

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April 24 version

MLB

5 infamous pitcher ejections for cheating

Never fear Yankees fans, Michael Pineda is far from the first MLB pitcher to be thrown out of a game for cheating.

NFL

Patriot’s schedule comes up fair

Those looking for built-in excuses for the Patriots 2014-2015 season will have to look elsewhere, because their schedule came up fair. For the fourth straight…

MLB

Nava demoted, Victorino return imminent

  Red Sox outfielder Daniel Nava, who was batting a team-low .149/.240/.269, was demoted to Triple-A Pawtucket on Wednesday. "His struggles at the plate, I…

Parenting

New study: Inside the wage gap between boys…

According to a new study, there's a wage gap between boys and girls, with boys earning more allowance for less chores.

Tech

From Apple TV to Fire TV, big changes…

Apple is set to launch a new generation of it's Apple TV, which grossed over $1 billion in 2013. But competition from Amazon and Google looms.

Style

Katy Perry releases a new Claire’s collection

Katy Perry expands her empire by releasing an accessories collection at Claire's.

Style

MAC & Proenza Schouler collection unveiled

MAC Cosmetics is releasing a new collection with Proenza Schouler.