Playing the Field: The NFL’s new rules

It's time for make the NFL safer. Let's eliminate all hitting, Roger Goodell.
It’s time for make the NFL safer. Let’s eliminate all hitting, Roger Goodell.

Wow, it’s been a busy week for Playing the Field. With all the A-Rod and PED nonsense, coupled with the continued fallout from the Riley Cooper racial incident in Philadelphia and the ongoing saga that is Johnny Manziel.

Can we get back to playing sports? Please!

No, OK. Well, we’re going to keep it light this week.

First item is in regard to an old story. Back in the spring, the NFL adopted a new rule which prohibits running backs from initiating contact with the crown of their helmets. It’s another in a long line of edicts from commissioner dictator Roger Goodell that seeks to enforce player safety.

Vikings safety Harrison Smith, a defensive player that this new rule is intended to protect, wrote the following on Twitter: “soon everyone will get a trophy for participation.”

Here are some other rules we predict Goodell will look at proposing:

1. No more tackling. Really, if you want to enforce safety and stop injuries entirely than just cut to the chase and cut out all that unnecessary contact. A good game of rough touch surely wouldn’t plummet the NFL’s ratings into oblivion … would it?

2. No more kickoffs. Seriously, the commish has actually talked about adopting this one. In reality, kickoffs are the most dangerous part of football, with a gang of padded warriors racing at warp speeds to fling themselves at a lone target. Of course, it also plays a pivotal role in the game’s outcome: field position. Go figure.

3. No more middle ground. Let’s just remove half the playbook, like slants and crossing patterns. Keep the passing game sideline vertical and outlaw any plays that involve going over the middle of the field, since that’s where the most vicious hits occur — and the most collarbones break. Arena football, what!?

Feel free to send your own rule amendments to our attention: sports@metro.us. And be sure to follow us on Twitter: @mike_greger.

And now the best video you’ll see all week. Twerking with surfing superstar Anastasia Ashley, courtesy of former Metro contributor, The Big Lead.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Memorial held for Sean Collier, MIT police officer…

More than 1,600 people gathered at MIT on Friday for a memorial service for Sean Collier, the police officer shot to death a year ago in the aftermath of the…

National

Florida man charged with murdering son to play…

A Florida man annoyed that his 16-month-old crying son was preventing him from playing video games suffocated the toddler, police said on Friday.

International

Powerful 7.2 magnitude earthquake rattles Mexico

A powerful earthquake struck Mexico Friday, shaking buildings and sending people running into the street, although there were no reports of major damage.

News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

Entertainment

Whoopi Goldberg makes her debut as marijuana columnist

"It helps my head stop hurting, and with glaucoma your eyes ache, and she takes the ache out. It's wonderful," she said.

The Word

Kate Middleton made fun of Prince William's bald…

Kate Middleton and Prince William are in Sydney, Australia, right now, and it sounds like that brash Aussie sense of humor might be rubbing off.

The Word

Is Tom Cruise dating Laura Prepon?

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise is said to be dating Laura Prepon, star of "Orange is the New Black."

Television

'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…

MLB

MLB video highlights: Red Sox defeat Orioles, 4-2

Brock Holt the difference in the Red Sox' win

NHL

NHL video highlights & analysis: Red Wings dump…

NHL video highlights & analysis: Red Wings dump Bruins in Game 1

MLB

MLB video highlights: Orioles top Red Sox, 8-4…

John Lackey roughed up for second straight outing

MLB

MLB video highlights: Red Sox score two in…

Lester shines in Red Sox win over White Sox

Parenting

How to parent without gender stereotypes in a…

Christia Spears Brown, Phd. author of "Parenting beyond Pink & Blue" gives advice on raising kids free of gender stereotypes.

Tech

VIDEO: 'Vein-scanning' may become the future of paying

Designed to make transactions quicker and easier, the technology works by scanning the unique vein patterns in each person's palm.

Tech

#FollowFriday: 10 of the smartest Twitter accounts

Spending lots of time on Twitter? You might as well learn something. Here are some of the smartest accounts to follow.

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.