WWE wrestlers from 1989 say what they’re thankful for on Thanksgiving

As we all know, Thanksgiving doesn’t begin until you’ve said your prayers, taken your vitamins and have watched the 1989 WWF WWE Survivor Series intro three times in a row in the span of 15 minutes.

Thanksgiving, of course, is a holiday that thrives on nostalgia and if you miss those cocaine-fueled, steroid-laden Thanksgivings of yore, this is the video for you. Here’s a little English translation of some of the wrestlers as they tell you what they’re thankful for in 1989.

Hulk Hogan (0:03): I’m thankful my daughter Brooke is going to become the next big thing on American Bandstand. What a voice.

Jake “The Snake” Roberts (0:45): I’m thankful for my yoga pants.

“Macho King” Randy Savage (0:56): I’m thankful I had this unbelieeeevable crown fitted to my head. Thanks, Lids. Dig it!

Macho Man Randy Savage WWF WWE
LeBron James ain’t got nothin’ on Randy Savage in the athleticism department. Credit: Getty Images

“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan (1:04): I’m thankful I got kicked by that mule five years ago and I’m especially thankful for all the great armories across this great land that will allow me to work for the next 30 years. How else is a cat supposed to pay for his Meister Brau? HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Earthquake (1:11): I’m thankful for the giant Tiger tattoo on my left shoulder and that this idiot to my left is doing my mic work.

Dusty Rhodes (1:14): I’m thankful that America loves obese white men that drop bionic elbows in their underwear. I’m not thankful that Vince McMahon is ribbing me with these polka dots, but I’ll pretend that I love them, anyway. It’s all about gettin’ dat dolla, hunny.

Bushwhacker Butch (1:12): I’m thankful to learn that we’re both alive in 2013. It’s a real stunner, cousin.

Ultimate Warrior (1:17): Gibberish, gibberish, gibberish! Warrior! Gibberish! WAR!!!!!!! (Snarl)

Happy Thanksgiving 2013!

Follow Metro Boston sports editor Matt Burke on Twitter @BurkeMetroBOS


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Rapper affiliate of Wu-Tang Clan 'cuts off own…

Rapper Andre Johnson, who has performed with New York outfit the Wu-Tang Clan, is in a critical condition after reportedly cutting off his own penis…

National

Cleavage complaint: Disneyland staffer orders curvy mom to…

A curvy mom-of-three says she filed a formal complaint after staff at Disneyland Resort in California ordered her to cover up her boobs. Melissa Behnken,…

International

Canadian charged in 'Heartbleed' attack on tax agency

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadian police have arrested a 19-year-old man and charged him in connection with exploiting the "Heartbleed" bug to steal taxpayer data from…

National

Every dog has his day in court, in…

(Reuters) - Call him juror K-9.A computer glitch is likely to blame for a summons that called a German Shepherd to report for jury duty,…

Movies

The Cannes Film Festival announces its 2014 lineup

The lineup of the 2014 Cannes Film Festival was announced this morning, promising the latest from a slew of usual (and some unusual) suspects.

Television

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ recap: Episode 8

Sure, it's called Survivor. But this season should really be called 'The Tony Show.'

Television

Jim Rash talks 'The Writer's Room' and amazing…

For Jim Rash, as the fifth season of "Community" comes to a close, the second season of "The Writer's Room" begins.

Television

'Dexter' star Jennifer Carpenter moves into producing role

The actress who played the title character's sister in "Dexter" is teaming up with producer George Stelzner to adapt Erika Hayasaki's book "The Death Class:…

MLB

MLB video highlights: Red Sox beat White Sox…

Red Sox walk 15 times in extra innings win

NBA

Kris Humphries on free agency, future with Celtics:…

Kris Humphries on free agency, future with Celtics: 'I hope to be back'

NBA

Celtics turn attention to NBA Draft, improve lottery…

Celtics turn attention to NBA Draft, improve lottery odds with loss

NFL

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April version

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April version

Wellbeing

This Week in Health: chocolate may prevent obesity…

Can chocolate prevent obesity and diabetes? Location of study: U.S. Study subjects: Mice Results: The positive health benefits of chocolate have been studied increasingly more…

Wellbeing

This Week in Health News: breastfed infants trying…

Are breastfed infants trying to prevent mom from having another baby? Theory: The act of breastfeeding not only brings mom and baby closer together –…

Wellbeing

Unexplained infertility may be caused by lack of…

Researchers have identified a protein on the egg's surface that interacts with another protein on the surface of sperm, allowing the two cells to join.

Tech

5 surprising facts about Google Glass

Your sex life could get more interesting.