Playing the Field: Alex Ovechkin needs to ‘act like a man’

Washington Capitals v Philadelphia Flyers
And the Oscar for best flop in a major hockey game goes to … Alex Ovechkin.

One of the greatest scenes in “The Godfather”— and one of the greatest scenes in cinematic history, for that matter — comes when Johnny Fontane, a struggling young singer based on Frank Sinatra’s early days, petitions Vito Corleone for help. He wants to be a movie star and he wants to be famous, so he begs Vito for assistance like a spoiled child would do.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Vito Corleone tells him, “You can act like a man!” and slaps Johnny in the face. We can only hope Capitals coach Adam Oates and Alex Ovechkin re-enacted this scene late Wednesday night in Philadelphia. Ovechkin was terrible in Washington’s 4-1 loss to the Flyers, flopping around the ice like he was trying to win an Academy Award, mistiming line shits and turning the puck over.

Well, by the second intermission, NHL analyst Mike Milbury had seen enough. He took to the airwaves with an epic rant, instructing Ovechkin to “act like a man” and calling his play “disgusting” and “unacceptable.” At one point, Milbury compared Ovechkin to a baby.

Ovechkin responded to Milbury’s comments only by saying that he “doesn’t listen to those guys.” Ovechkin signed a 13-year, $124 million contract extension in 2008. He has eight goals and seven assists (15 points) this season, numbers that barely put him in the Top 50 among NHL players. Not a very good return on your investment, Capitals fans.

Get your pom-poms out

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This is probably the perviest (read: most perverted) yet totally legal thing we’ve ever seen on Living Social. While we won’t condemn any man for shelling out big bucks to hang with gorgeous ladies in a tropical setting, it takes a certain breed to sign up for this adventure, right? Perhaps a basement blogger who has never talked to a real girl, or maybe someone like Steve Buscemi’s character in Billy Madison.

Either way, let the bidding (and background checks) begin. And if anyone out there reading this decides to jump on this deal, please email us immediately and we’ll let you write a blog about it. No, seriously, we will.



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