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Charles J. Orlando: What he thinks but won't say out loud

Relationship expert Charles J. Orlando let's us know what men are really thinking.
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Sometimes, men just get frustrated. They can’t understand some key issues women go through. While my advice is to always be honest and straight up with your partner—and have the hard conversations—some men don’t feel safe bringing up issues that could cause confrontation for no reason.

I surveyed 500 men what they wish they had the guts bring up in conversation with their wives/girlfriends. Here are the top five:

5. "Don’t use my past mistakes against me. I’m human. I screw up just like you do.”

It’s a common lament from men: “You always bring things up from two years ago!” Granted, someone who only apologizes and doesn’t change is not only irritating — it’s detrimental to the relationship. However, reminding someone over and over about their mistakes breeds resentment.

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Solution: Take the time to work through the issue the first time. If he habitually is inconsiderate and/or keeps doing the same things, discuss it rationally.

4. "When you ask me a question and want the truth, don’t get angry at me when I tell you straight. That creates a no-win situation for me.”

He would love to tell you what he thinks. Depending on the subject matter, however, it might just be a trap. “Does this dress make me look fat?” is a classic no-win.

Solution: Create an atmosphere when honesty can reign. If you are a couple that cares about each other, than even the hardest questions can be safe.

3. "It’s okay if you take charge in the bedroom sometimes. It might help me loosen up and not be so inhibited or embarrassed.”

He has a lot of things/fantasies in his head, but he might be too embarrassed to share them right away—or maybe ever.

Solution: A woman that shows and tells what she wants is a huge turn-on.

2. "I worry about all kinds of things. I don’t share them because I don’t want you to think I’m weak or that I can’t handle it.”

Solution: Tell him that you’re there for both of you. The Key: Don’t judge.

1. "Please, for the love of God, tell me what you want. Say it straight.”

A man wants the woman he loves to he happy.

Solution: Be upfront with what you want and what you need. He’ll make the effort, and when he does reinforce it with positive affirmations.

Charles J. Orlandois relationship expert and author of the bestselling book series “The Problem with Women… is Men®.” Find out more about Charles on hiswebsite, or visit him onFacebookfor real-world love advice.

 
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