Two years ago, we did you a solid: We scoured the big streaming services to bring you movies far more salacious than "Fifty Shades of Grey." It wasn't hard; "Fifty Shades of Grey" is about as sexy as a perfume commercial, and horribly retrograde to boot. And now here's "Fifty Shades Darker," yet another S&M movie you can watch with your grandma.
Remarkably, given the fickle nature of streaming copyright issues, all of those films still live online, ready at a click. Half of them have just moved over to FilmStruck. So here's an updated list, plus a few newbs:
‘Basic Instinct’ (Netflix Instant)
Two decades ago, director Paul Verhoen and writer Joe Eszter seemed to rip open the fabric of society, gifting us with a neo-noir where the badassest person was a frequently naked bisexual Sharon Stone. Even now, the sex is still pretty shocking. The unrated cut on Netflix makes the big bonking centerpiece even longer, with Michael Douglas spending more time downtown — the kind of thing that, when performed on a woman, still gets movies threatened with an NC-17.
‘Nymphomaniac’ (Netflix Instant)
Lars Von Trier has never shied from sex; “Breaking the Waves” follows one woman who thinks God wants her to sleep with strangers, while “The Idiots” sported real bonking. Even the five-hour director’s cut of his “porn epic” is at least partly fake, with hardcore shots either spliced-in or digitally faked as Charlotte Gainsbourg relates her history of bonk addiction. It may be the only sex movie where the talking parts — featuring Stellan Skarsgard — are more engaging than the shtupping.
‘Stranger by the Lake’ (Netflix Instant)
There’s a whole mess of penises, as far as the eye can see, in Alain Guiraudie’s cryptic art film, set at a gay cruising site that doubles as a nudist spot. Eventually there’s a spate of murders, but that only puts a slight damper on the wang.
‘Wetlands’ (Netflix Instant)
In which a German teen (a truly game Carla Juri) freely, recklessly, giddily experiments with her body, from exposing it to germs to all manner of sexual hijinks. After she accidentally slices up her butthole while shaving it, she winds up in the hospital, recounting misadventures that would make even “Nymphomaniac”’s lead sick.
'Boogie Nights' (Netflix Instant)
The sex in Paul Thomas Anderson's porn saga isn't exactly played straight; when people are porking, there's usually cameras on them, Burt Reynolds off-screen whispering stage direction. It's still technically sexier than "Fifty Shades," and also, you know, it's "Boogie Nights." Who doesn't enjoy "Boogie Nights"?