May the Fourth be with you!
There, we said it. Yes, it’s “Star Wars Day” across the nation today, quite possibly the only holiday named after a lisp. How should you celebrate? Metro has some ideas:
»Shoot your friend, and then digitally alter the evidence to make it look like he shot first.
»Instead of wearing a coat, simply cut open an animal and jump inside of it when you are cold.
»Find an elevator. Ask your partner to tell you they love you. Respond with “I know,” then take the elevator down.
»Request the Max Rebo Band at your local strip club.
»Re-enact the Ewok scenes from “Return of the Jedi” with your teddy bears, only at the end it’s them you burn.
»Talk to your lover about how much you hate sand:
»Describe all distances in terms of parsecs.
»Accidentally kiss your sister.
»Find Jake Lloyd on Facebook, make him listen to you bitch about “Episode I.”
»Be really awesome for the first half of the day, then go around acting all flat and stilted for the last half.
