And high up in a penthouse in Manhattan somewhere, Suri Cruise yawned loudly and entered a new entry in her burn book.
In what was decidedly not the most hotly anticipated celebrity due date of the summer, J. Simp gave birth to an 8-pound vat of cookie dough yesterday. Hahaha just kidding, that was just a mean fat joke. (We kid, Jessica, we know you and Weight Watchers are working hard to get you back in shape.)
No, Simpson delivered — through a scheduled C-section — a healthy baby boy. A healthy baby that she and ex-NFL star Eric Johnson named Ace Knute. Knute, pronnounced “Ka-nute.” Because, you know, John or Michael or something was already taken?
I’m really happy for you guys, and I’mma let you finish reveling in the joy of parenthood (is this joke dead yet? It might be dead, huh?) but North West is seriously the best ridiculous baby name of Summer 2K13.