Justin Bieber threw a rager on Friday night at his house, where such fun was had that guests had to sign a $3 million nondisclosure agreement before proceeding to party. It sounds like the red tape was wise: Neighbors called the cops on the party three times in the wee hours of the morning because of the noise, according to TMZ.
So does Justin feel bad about disturbing his neighbors' sleep to entertain Snoop Lion and his other guests? Hardly — in fact, he feels epic. "You should have been there," he told a TMZ reporter. "It was some Great Gatsby s—."
I am unexpectedly charmed by this image. Bieber, a pipe in his hand, his pants drooping around his butt, sighing into the night as his party rages on behind him. Yes, it's wonderful to smoke weed with Snoop Lion, but what does it mean if Daiselena Buchanan Gomez does not leave her industrialist husband and return to him? Somewhere off in the dark, he thinks he can see the light of her iPhone screen as she tweets.
Maybe I will start using literature to make my minor misbehaviors sound sophisticated. Melinda, were you rude to your school friends? "That was some Hamlet s—." Melinda, why are you grumpy around the holidays? "That's some Charles Dickens 'A Christmas Carol' s—." Melinda, did you shoot that guy in the head? "That's some 'Of Mice and Men' s—."