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The Kim Diaries: Fur bikinis, selfies, and skiing

Welcome to "The Kim Diaries," a weekly post dedicated to satirically recounting Kim Kardashian's life.

In case the mobile version of these images are too difficult for you to read, we have transcribed "The Kim Diaries" entries below:

Friday
Dear Kim,
I was going though some old pictures yesterday and found this picture of a strange child. Who is this? They’re cute. Can I like adopt her? I like how she doesn’t smile. No training required!
Love,
Kim


Also Friday
Dear Kim,
The nerds gave me some great news today! I get to make more moneyzz off the plebes who play my game! Do you like that word, “plebes?” Kanye and I are learning new words to describe the poors.
Love,
Kim
P.s. peasants, paupers, rats, bottom feeders, bottom dwellers


Also, also Friday
Dear Kim,
Where do ducks go in the winter?
Love,
Kim

Sunday
Dear Kim
My friends made me wear a helmet skiing and I was not happy about it but feel it's more safe and I'm into it now if you can't tell. Ooo maybe my game should have robots!!!!!
Beep beep boop boop
Love,
Kim

Monday
Did you know I’m impervious (new word!) to camera flashes?
Well I am
Hee hee
Love,
Kim
P.s. I miss food

More Monday
Dear Kim,
Happy Martin Luther Kim Boulevard Jr Day!
Love,
Kim

More, more Monday
Dear Kim,
Keep your beautiful sisters close, and your future competition even closer….
Trust no one,
Kim

When will this Monday end??
Dear Kim,
WHAT THE HELL WAS KOURT THINKING
ALL DENIM?
What would Kanye say?
I’m so ashamed (new word btw!!!)
Love,
Kim

Tuesday
Dear Kim,
I know not getting into the Iowa Writers Workshop was a disappointment…
BUT SUCK IT IOWA I HAVE A BOOK OUT
Love,
Kim, author of “Selfish”

Tuesday (this week is going by sooo slow!!!)
Dear Kim,
Maybe I should go as sexy chewbaca next Halloween…
Choobaka?
Shoeboka?
Choobaka
Love,
Kim
Ps that’s gonna keep me up all night
 
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