Does Juan Pablo Galavis, this season's Bachelor, even understand what "The Bachelor" is?
Last night was the season finale, and former soccer player Juan Pablo finally chose his lady. Sort of. A little bit. Don't rush him into anything. After sending hairstylist Clare packing, he told pediatric nurse Nikki, "I have a ring in my pocket, but I'm not going to use it." The 12 magic words every woman wants to hear.
Juan Pablo not only didn't propose — he couldn't seem to express any stronger feelings for Nikki than what he might say while picking up a cute girl at a coffee shop. "I don't want to let you go. I like you a lot," he told her. "Will you accept my final rose?" She did, because why not at that point, I guess.
Did his feelings progress in the four months between the final ceremony and last night's live reunion? Doesn't look that way: Nikki told Chris Harrison that Juan Pablo still hadn't told her he loved her. (She said it in the last episode.)
OK, so JP just wasn't feeling it. A little un-Bachelorish, but at least he was honest, right? Well, maybe not — Juan Pablo not only didn't develop strong feelings for his stable of ladies, but he didn't even have much respect for them. When he and runner-up Clare were taking a romantic helicopter ride, she revealed that he whispered in her ear, "I love f—ing you."
Only one word off from what a girl wants to hear. So close, yet so, so, so far.
Poor Clare won't even get the usual consolation: According to ABC News, next season's Bachelorette won't be Clare, but Andi, the feisty attorney who dumped Juan Pablo after a horrible night in the fantasy suite.