Poor Drake. He must have been coming on too strong to Amanda Bynes. And now he's blown his shot with her for good.
Bynes, who once tweeted that she wanted Drake to "murder" her lady parts, now believes they're better off keeping their relationship platonic. "I don't like leading people on. I will not date @drake ever. I only want to be his friend. I'm sorry that I insult him but it's hard not to!" she tweeted yesterday.
Drake has not issued any comment on Amanda's decision to let him down gently. No doubt he's too heartbroken to do anything but suffer in silence.
Publicist Jonathan Jaxson claims that Amanda’s head-shaving, bong-throwing, Drake-taunting antics are all a part of her master plan. He tweeted screen caps of text messages he claims are from Amanda. “All this has been an act and you know it! I know what I am doing,” she allegedly told him. “I got to 2 million followers now and everybody wants me. I am smart and not stupid. Everyone mentions my name. The world loves me!”
The world certainly somethings you, Amanda. Is “love” really the word for what we’re feeling though? I’d go with “deep concern tinged with a shameful dollop of schadenfreude.” But that would take a long time to put in a text, I grant.