Watch out, boys here she comes… to suck your blood! Credit: Getty Images
In honor of Halloween, we asked the Metro staff which celebrity scared them the most. Read it now — if you dare. Bwahahahahhahaha!
Harrison Ford: Why would a 71-year-old man have an earring? It’s creepy.
Bruce Jenner: What he’s done to his once-handsome face is more gasp-inducing than watching “The Conjuring.”
Steve Buscemi:We love the guy, but you really wouldn’t want to brush up against his grill in a dark alley, would you?
Mel Gibson: What has he been up to since his anti-Semitic rant? We’d be spooked to venture into his basement at this point. Dude is probably working on something cah-razy.
Taylor Swift: It keeps us up at night worrying about what pretty young man-thing she’ll set her blonde succubus sights on next. Boys beware.
James Franco: Nobody should have that much energy and accomplish that many different things. It’s terrifying. We’re scared of what he’ll decide to add to his résumé next — brain surgery? A human centipede made entirely of his comedy mafia bros? (Actually, we’d like to see that.)
Raquel Welch: We’re pretty sure she is one of the Tupperware moms from the TV series “Eerie, Indiana” — the kind that sleep in Tupperware coffins to stay fresh. She doesn’t seem to be aging.
Nicki Minaj: She looks like she just stepped out of a wax museum, and not in the “Oh, fun! Inanimate objects have come to life!” way. More in the “Oh God, the mannequins are alive! Oh, the horror! Oh, the humanity!” way.
Ashton Kutcher: What deal with the devil did that guy do? Highest-paid actor on TV? Check. Mila Kunis as a girlfriend? Check. Signing over his soul is the only explanation.
TALKING POINTS:
Lohan is way, way off the wagon
October apparently hasn’t been an easy month for Lindsay Lohan’s fledgling sobriety. The troubled starlet has been spending a lot of time at bars, clubs and parties this month, and she’s reportedly fallen off the wagon when it comes to booze, according to Star magazine.
“She was definitely drinking alcohol. She got increasingly sloppy as the hours went on,” a source who spotted Lohan at a party in L.A. last week tells the magazine. “At one point Lindsay was literally hanging onto a couple of her friends, like they were holding her up.” She’s also reportedly been sneaking vodka cocktails at bars in New York, and she partied till dawn at “an alcohol-fueled bash” in Hollywood with Paris Hilton and Miley Cyrus recently. “Lindsay arrived around 3 a.m. and was still there when dawn was breaking,” a source says.
Brown checks into rehab
Chris Brown has checked himself into rehab for some anger management issues just a day after appearing in court over charges he assaulted a man outside a Washington, D.C., hotel. “Chris Brown has elected to enter a rehab facility,” his rep says in a statement. “His goal is to gain focus and insight into his past and recent behavior, enabling him to continue the pursuit of his life and his career from a healthier vantage point.”
Spelling’s sex tape
Tori Spelling admits that there’s a sex tape featuring her and husband Dean McDermott floating around out there, though it’s been a couple of years since she’s heard about it. According to Spelling’s sixth memoir, “Spelling It Like It Is,” she and McDermott were looking to spice things up in 2009. “Dean said, ‘We should tape ourselves having sex,’” she writes. “He had a little portable tripod, and he set up his video camera on it. Afterward, I checked my angles and they were good, so I allowed him to keep it.”
Apparently a former friend of the couple snatched it off their home computer and attempted to sell it two years later. “I was horrified,” Spelling writes, explaining that they sent the man a cease and desist letter. “We never heard from him again, and the incident went away.”
