Jim Gaffigan isn’t just a comedian – he’s a prophet. The video above proves that Gaffigan always knew Hot Pockets would be mankind’s demise.
Earlier this week, Nestle USA recalled Hot Pockets, citing concerns that there may be meat from “diseased and unsound animals” in the products. But Gaffigan has been talking about the dangers of Hot Pockets for years.
Here he is talking about Hot Pockets during his special “Beyond the Pale.”
He says after he eats them, he thinks to himself: “I’m gonna die. I paid for that?”
He also claims, falsely, that Hot Pockets come with a label: “[A] warning printed on the side: ‘Warning: You just bought Hot Pockets. Hope you’re drunk or heading home to a trailer.'”
Gaffigan hypothesizes that the pitch for Hot Pockets went something like this: “How about we fill a Pop Tart with nasty meat?” He can swap out “nasty” for “diseased and unsound” now.
Though the vegetarian Hot Pockets obviously don’t contain the unsound meat, Gaffigan brings up a good point. They’re “for those of us who don’t want to meat eat, but would still like to have diarrhea.”
And what’s the best way to consume Lean Pockets? “Take out of box and place directly in toilet.”
Gaffigan has weighed in on the controversy on Twitter.
Might? “@Gawker: Hot Pockets might have diseased animal meat in them.”
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 19, 2014
In other words, he told you so.
Follow Andrea Park on Twitter: @andreapark
