Piers Morgan announced that his show was canceled Sunday.
Larry King ruled the airwaves for 15 years from 1985 to 2010, interviewing everyone from UFO conspiracists to presidents. His successor, Piers Morgan, presided for an equally storied — um — three years.
CNN is canceling "Piers Morgan Live," the network announced Sunday. British import Morgan never caught on with American audiences: His ratings regularly dipped below 100,000 and were the worst CNN had seen in 21 years, according to the New York Times.
So fare thee well, Piers. Head back to the land of royalty and phone-hacking. But his departure leaves a gaping hole in CNN's schedule at 9 p.m., so the question remains: Who should replace him? I am perhaps not the best qualified person to answer this, since I, like all patriotic Americans, never watched his show. But I, like all patriotic Americans, am proud to have strong opinions about things I know little about. So here are a few suggestions.
Alec Baldwin. Baldwin was recently cut loose from his MSNBC show, and he's shown a willingness lately to tattle on his fellow celebs' bad behavior. Viewers would tune in just to see how long it took him to blow his stack.
Justin Bieber. The Biebs is currently very famous and rich, but unless he's got something major up his sleeve the clock is winding down on his musical stardom. Maybe he could have a second act as a journalist.
Seth Meyer. Smart, funny, personable - Meyer is a great choice for a late night host. Whoops, too late. He has a job.
Bo Obama. Let's be honest - it's possible that in today's hypersegmented, on-demand media environment, a big tent show like "Larry King Live" will never again succeed. So why not replace Piers with someone that absolutely everyone adores: cute, fluffy Portuguese water dog Bo? OK, he can't talk, but he would still probably be a tougher interviewer than Larry King was.