Metro has a confession to make: We didn't get into Harvard. However, when we didn't, we like to think that we handled it a little bit better than Grace Oberhofer, a Washington State high-schooler who has taken to the web to plead her case. In song.
How is this misguided? Let us count the ways.
First, and though this will mark us as of a generation that came before Justin Bieber, Greyson Chance and Rebecca Black, we need to say it: A viral video is not the answer to every setback in life. Viral videos are frequently embarrassing, and if they achieve their goal, everyone sees them. Why would you put yourself through that?
Second, though Oberhofer's vocals are quite nice, the lyrical content of her song unsettles us a bit. Let's unpack this:
»"Harvard, you mean the world to me": How is that true? You don't go there yet. It's just a brand name on a brochure to you! That's like saying your Lexus means a lot to you.
»"Already a part of my family tree": Oh, so you're a legacy? You have no sympathy from us, then.
»"We laud the spirit and the school / that intimidates the average fool." We don't want to judge, but this makes it sound like the only reason you want to go to Harvard is because it would make you better than other people? Which is fine! (That's why we wanted to go there, too.) But please admit it.
»"Harvard you mean the world to me / On John Harvard's leg I would never pee": See, again with the 'world to me' stuff. Makes you sound needy, girl! And bringing up the in-jokes you hope to share doesn't help.
The song itself is really catchy, though! If this girl is serious about her songwriting, can't she console herself by going to Berklee or something?