Skipping ice cream and hitting the gym may not be most people's idea of fun, but few would argue the merits of having sex — an activity that's pleasurable and good for you. But as with most enjoyable pastimes, life and all of its stressors often get in the way. So, it may not surprise you that according to a new study published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, Americans' sex lives have been drastically declining in recent years.
If this statistic applies to you, break the cycle! We spoke with three leading sexperts to get their tips on what you can do...to do it more often.
Love yourself naked
Project Soulmate matchmakers Jennifer Zucher and Lori Zaslow say it's important to feel confident and not be afraid to make the first move. "If you love yourself and feel sexy then you will be more confident in the bedroom, which will turn your partner on," says Zucher. "So be comfortable in your own skin and wear lingerie that makes you feel sexy."
Ditch the bed
"It's important to mix up where you're having sex to keep things interesting and keep your partner on their toes. Try the kitchen table, bathroom, and balcony – be creative!" says Zucher. You can also try role playing. Ask your partner their fantasies and make them into a reality – and don’t just act out the part, dress for it, too, she says.
Plan for spontaneity
"We're all busy and sometimes we even have to schedule our sex lives," says We-Vibe's global passion ambassador, Tristan Weedmark. "So planning and talking to your partner about your mutual openness for quickies lets you take advantage of those ten minutes that just freed up in your schedules."
Try something new
Don't get stuck in a sexual rut. Instead of being bummed out, take it as an opportunity to inject some novelty into your routine. Weedmark suggests visiting a couples-friendly adult store together. "The point is to find a new product that will be a bonding experience and to give you both a laugh or two."
Terri Cole, relationship expert and the founder of the Real Love Revolution, says there are many small ways to show your partner you're still into them. "To reignite the heat, I suggest leaving sweet/sexy notes in pockets, briefcase, under a pillow etc.," she says. Or, go big: "Get a hotel room, add lingerie to the mix, or to give a full body massage that leads to slow, hot sex."