Are you attracting the type of matches you’re looking to meet? If not, it’s probably your profile. (And yes, you need to write something, not just post photos … even on dating apps.)
Writing a profile will mean better connections because it becomes easier for people to start a conversation with you, and — when done right — will attract the people you want to meet.
Here’s my step-by-step guide to knowing exactly what to say in your dating profile:
Brainstorm keywords. Consider your life by asking yourself: What do you love to do? How do you spend most of your time? What are you interested in? Write all the words that come to mind down. In particular, focus on specific interests like “fitness” or “museums” that will help someone understand your life in a snapshot.
Get clear on who you want to meet. To attract quality matches, you’ll have to define quality for yourself. Focus on the type of person who is interesting to you. Consider: What might you have in common? What would the person you’re looking to meet be attracted to about you?
Explore the overlap. The sweet spot for profile content is the intersection of your interests and your match’s intrigue. It makes the other person excited to message and meet you. Find three to five keywords that lie in the sweet spot and explore them more. Write down everything you can about those topics so you can see all the potential topics to incorporate. For example, “fitness” might make you think of yoga, which reminds you of the retreat you took in the Berkshires.
Start writing. I find that most great profiles will highlight these three to five topics in interesting and specific ways. It gives your match enough to connect with but doesn’t overwhelm them, either. On an app, about three to five sentences is also the ideal length and on a site where there is more space, three paragraphs is best. Above all, remember that perfection always seems too good to be true. Don’t be afraid to balance all that yoga by revealing your hot chocolate indulgence.
Laurie Davis Edwards is the founder of eFlirt, an online dating concierge service, and the best-selling author of "Love @ First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating."